Hello, I’m currently navigating some difficult topics with my 19m teenager.
He is currently studying abroad and called me in absolute distress to confess he had “Grey bugs in his bush” his words not mine. After taking down his symptoms it wasn’t difficult for me hypothesize that he had crabs. (Confirmed this with my friend that’s a doctor, he will be getting tested on Thursday for other STDs to ensure nothing else is going on).
I’m deeply disappointed in my teenager, he knows about safe sex, we discussed prep due to his sexuality and I paid the 600 dollar fee for testing and the necessary medications.
He is completely distraught, panicking and crying and feeling sorry for himself. He mentioned that he’s depressed because he’s poor. He’s also depressed because he lost his full ride due to his GPA dropping below a 3.3 (it’s a 3.2 so not totally terrible). Lastly, he’s depressed because of issues with other family members.
Listening to him cry about these issues is frustrating considering he left without ensuring his scholarship situation was resolved and second because despite being exceptionally bright he’s been extremely unsafe and hypersexual. Most importantly he’s studying abroad and living a dream most people never get to! Granted he did that with scholarships and money he saved up while working his freshmen year of college. He just can’t stop comparing himself to other students and their large budgets.
I’m frustrated with him because I’ve given him the leniency he wanted because he thought he was an adult and should be treated like one.
When he was on the phone with me for the last SIX hours I was not coddling him or allowing him to pity himself. It was important that we get a plan of action in place which is what we did.
He has an appointment with a psychiatrist today because we had already discussed his self destructive behaviors. Due to him destroying a friendship with the only person that he had made friends with due to the friend not reciprocating his romantic feelings.
My question and need for advice is, what else can I do? He also confessed not doing well in his classes up there despite not working.
Should I bring him home? Should I pull him from the top tier university he’s currently at here at home and make him go to community college?
Should I micromanage him from a world away? I just don’t know what to do to ensure the self-destructive behaviors don’t continue.
He is currently studying abroad and called me in absolute distress to confess he had “Grey bugs in his bush” his words not mine. After taking down his symptoms it wasn’t difficult for me hypothesize that he had crabs. (Confirmed this with my friend that’s a doctor, he will be getting tested on Thursday for other STDs to ensure nothing else is going on).
I’m deeply disappointed in my teenager, he knows about safe sex, we discussed prep due to his sexuality and I paid the 600 dollar fee for testing and the necessary medications.
He is completely distraught, panicking and crying and feeling sorry for himself. He mentioned that he’s depressed because he’s poor. He’s also depressed because he lost his full ride due to his GPA dropping below a 3.3 (it’s a 3.2 so not totally terrible). Lastly, he’s depressed because of issues with other family members.
Listening to him cry about these issues is frustrating considering he left without ensuring his scholarship situation was resolved and second because despite being exceptionally bright he’s been extremely unsafe and hypersexual. Most importantly he’s studying abroad and living a dream most people never get to! Granted he did that with scholarships and money he saved up while working his freshmen year of college. He just can’t stop comparing himself to other students and their large budgets.
I’m frustrated with him because I’ve given him the leniency he wanted because he thought he was an adult and should be treated like one.
When he was on the phone with me for the last SIX hours I was not coddling him or allowing him to pity himself. It was important that we get a plan of action in place which is what we did.
He has an appointment with a psychiatrist today because we had already discussed his self destructive behaviors. Due to him destroying a friendship with the only person that he had made friends with due to the friend not reciprocating his romantic feelings.
My question and need for advice is, what else can I do? He also confessed not doing well in his classes up there despite not working.
Should I bring him home? Should I pull him from the top tier university he’s currently at here at home and make him go to community college?
Should I micromanage him from a world away? I just don’t know what to do to ensure the self-destructive behaviors don’t continue.