16 y/o sleeps all day, seems depressed

[moshil]

@thecore1234 Well hopefully when he’s an adult he doesn’t work first shift!

 

[walknlight]

@thecore1234 He does seem depressed and you sound like you definitely messed up by not being around (not gonna sugar coat that) but it’s definitely not too late for you both to live again. As exhausting as it sounds you probably need to consider doing a lot more with him. I think boys need their dads more than ever right now. My son went through a tough year last year, my husband works a lot and works nights on top of that so it’s almost similar. He’s just not around as much as he’d like to be but he started making a serious effort to start taking our son with him to do stuff. Stuff like attend his union meeting then go to twin peaks afterward with a couple guys. It made him feel like one of the guys and I could tell it was somewhat of a confidence boost. Get him out of the house, even if it’s to do something like go for a walk, fish, play ball, or just cruise and let him play his music even. Little things to spend time together.

This is all Just my opinion. But also don’t be so hard on yourself, you made mistakes but we’re only human. actions speak louder than words. Be there now. He’ll understand one day that everyone makes mistake and it’s how you move forward with learning from them.

My mother was an addict until I was 28 years old. It was tough growing up and it was definitely a “broken” home but I don’t hate her and it didn’t necessarily ruin my future. I’m glad I got the time with her I have and she’s done her part to prove to us that she can do better. it’s never too late.

Edit: Also want to say yes my teens can be glued to their devices at times but I can tell they enjoy the breaks when we have things to do for shortish spans of time. That’s why I suggest little outings and stuff together. It’s crazy how depressing social media can be. I was just out of high school when social media took off but I can’t imagine how hard it is to navigate as a teen. They need stuff to do offline.

 

[ktkls90]

@thecore1234 He may be depressed or he may just be being a teen. It’s very hard to tell sometimes though. All of them are obsessed with their phones and Tik tok, so it’s not really unusual that they all lay around on them all day. It sucks though.

However, he does have a group of friends, makes good grades and has hobbies. As long as those things are all going strong, he may be fine. Maybe encourage him to do more with friends. Invite them over when it’s his weekend too. Take them to do some boy outdoorsy stuff if they are into that.

 

[thecore1234]

@ktkls90 Thanks for the level-headed response.

I think he's just a digitally over- stimulated modern teen with terrible sleep habits

 

[ktkls90]

@thecore1234 He may be. If it makes you feel any better I slept half the day too as a teen if my mom would let me. I used to stay up all night on the phone. Lol Maybe have a cutoff time when he is with you that he needs to get up. Not super early though or he will be awful to deal with. My mom used to blast music or cook something good I could smell on the weekends. That usually worked.

 

[thecore1234]

@ktkls90 You mom was smart. Food smells! There was no internet when I was a teen. I watched TV. I had square eyes. I was sneaking out at night or not coming home. I was loose.

 

[o0oshadow]

@thecore1234 47, my son's turning 16 next week and my wife and I are going through a divorce. His issues started well before that. We saw a decline with him in 7th grade. Covid and puberty. We took him to numerous specialists and therapists. He has since been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. The mood stabilizers help tremendously but I do take into account he's a moody teenager. I'm lucky if I get more than a "yup" or "I don't know" out of him. It's challenging. I've done what I think is everything possible to try and understand him but this generational gap is more difficult to gauge than that I feel I had with my parents. These kids aren't as resilient or motivated as we were. They're inpatient and at times impulsive and I'm sure it has everything to do with how accessible everything is now with technology. I've taken away his devices but he always seems to find a way to stay connected. I wish I had some solid advice but all I can lend is that you are definitely not alone.

 

[rednecklutheran157]

@thecore1234 Some of that is normal teenage stuff - although very hard to watch as a parent. Having plenty to do usually helps. Maybe mix things up from time to time- even during the week. Go catch a sports game or a movie or go out to dinner. If he’s into acting, maybe check out your local theater. If his grades are good and he has friends, he will probably be just fine!!

 

[ajhnh]

@thecore1234 All sounds normal 16 yr old behaviour. He just needs a little shove to go out and do stuff.
Even with good mates sometimes teens just can’t get it together to make arrangements.
My daughter got a part time job and that was great for her self confidence and having sthg to do.
I hope you don’t mind me saying, and not suggesting that this is your case, but my daughters friends who’s parents are separated go to their other parent at the weekend and it can be frustrating for them as they miss all the cool social stuff that is planned during the week at school for that weekend. Could this be your case too?