Dear Everyone who said this would suck…

revstockton

New member
I had a really miserable pregnancy. I had HG for about 30 weeks, Covid and influenza B at the same time over Christmas and new years, borderline pre-e, cholestasis, etc. By my third trimester, I was going to the hospital twice a week for monitoring and seeing the OB every 5 days. Throughout all of this, I was having a somewhat rough time. Most of my friends just kept telling me horror stories about their scary deliveries and all about how their husbands were absolutely useless during pregnancy, delivery and postpartum life.

I’m just so grateful that my own experience was nothing like the horror stories I was absorbing every day. Having a newborn IS exhausting. I can’t imagine what it would be like without a supportive partner.

I woke up this morning with my newborn at 7:30. She let me get 5.5 hours of sleep broken into two stretches. When we woke up, my husband was at work already. My Stanley cup on the nightstand was freshly full of ice water (which requires going in our backyard to the deep freeze, so I never want to). There was a homemade breakfast sandwich wrapped in foil, in case I wanted to warm it in the air fryer. I ate it cold like a Gremlin. There was also a large fresh iced coffee. All of the baby dishes were clean and drying. I exclusively pump, so having the dishes done is a major stress reliever.

Waking up to these things being done completely changes the tone of my whole day with the baby. I’m able to eat, focus on doing what she needs, and pump much faster than if I was rushing around trying to do everything myself. I’m so grateful that even though I’m the primary parent and he’s the primary provider, he makes serious efforts to make my life more comfortable while I’m busy being a mom. And then when he’s home from work, we share the parenting load. I love watching the two of them interact.

I just remember being pregnant and miserable and everyone saying “just wait till you have a baby, it’s going to be so much worse”. I’m here to say, things got so much better. I’ve never been happier. Also, most of my friends who said their husbands were useless have multiple children….? If it sucks so much, I’m not sure why they keep repeating the experience.

Edit: one of these days I’ll post my birth story before the details get too fuzzy. It was a weeklong shitshow.
 
@revstockton Thanks so much for sharing. My experience was very similar. My pregnancy sucked (morning sickness throughout, gestational diabetes, and intense pelvic pain).

My husband has been a champ with postpartum; he gets me water without having to ask, helps keep up on laundry, and is the king of diapers. He’s also been great about wearing her when we have to go out (I had an unplanned c-section).

He was also amazing in the hospital-he helped me in and out of bed, helped me shower, and took me on walks as recommended.

He’s been hands on from the beginning and I couldn’t be happier either. I feel for those without support, but what you allow will continue. 💜
 
@revstockton Ugh yes! I was so miserable during my pregnancy. People would ask me how I was doing, I would say “tired” and they would say JuST waiT til ThE BabY GEtS heRe.

Am I tired now that the baby is here? Sure but not nearly to the same degree and I’m SO much happier now that he’s here! My husband and family has been wonderful and my baby is so sweet and delightful.
 
@armymom2 So much this! People were SO negative. Or they would tell me “I only threw up once while I was pregnant!” while I was puking like all day every day and just half alive.
 
@revstockton Yes ma’am! Everyone’s experiences differ, but mostly the horror stories are shared. I puke most days during pregnancy, but my baby was a pure joy. I’d rather clean poop for a minute than puke for 10, hands down.
 
@revstockton My girl came 8 weeks early due to severe pre-eclampsia and placental abruption. It’s hard some days, but mostly it’s wonderful. Not to mention, I love her to death lol.
 
@revstockton Same. Being pregnant was rough and I slept like shit

My baby is 3 months sleeps 12 hrs straight and is generally a fun and happy baby when she's awake. I love playing with her and taking care of her. My husband is super hands on and respectful. I would take the newborn stage over pregnancy any time.
 
@revstockton I just want to say for anyone reading this, do not let people tell you the horror stories! They do not help with anxiety during pregnancy and really don’t help when you get to the whole labor part 😖. I had to shut down a couple of family members and would start skipping tiktoks that were obviously horror stories. Just better to do everything to stay in a positive mindset!
 
@revstockton This. I had hyperemesis too til the day I delivered (38w 5d). I hated being pregnant and have no regrets saying that. Pregnancy is not all rainbows and butterflies. But I loved the newborn phase. They do day - tough pregnancy, better postpartum and I believe it.
 
@revstockton HG gals unite! I am pretty sure I had 6 weeks of postpartum euphoria lol. They pulled her out and I suddenly stopped feeling nauseous like someone flipped a light switch and it was a miracle (I also had BP issues and an ulcer and it all just kinda went away!). I think every mom’s experience is different (for me for example, 8-12 weeks have been the hardest so far, but nothing, and I mean nothing was harder than that pregnancy) but it’s soooo annoying when people try to convince you that you are in for ‘so much worse’ when you are having a horrible go of things. Enjoy those precious newborn snuggles!
 
@revstockton This was such a beautiful story. I cried while reading it. God bless you and your sweet family. What a wonderful partner you have !!! I’m so happy for you !!! Congratulations on your sweet baby 💖
 
@revstockton Very much in this position as well. I HATED pregnancy. Postpartum has been a breeze in comparison. Taking care of my baby is a lot of work but I have way more energy and feel more like myself. I’d take a newborn over pregnancy ANY DAY
 
@revstockton Going to the hospital to get NST’s twice a week because of cholestasis was exhausting and so anxiety inducing for me. I loved feeling my girl move and seeing the kicks on the screen, but I’m so happy to have her here and watch her kick outside the womb. I’ll take the newborn stage over cholestasis and borderline pre-e anyday. I agree, things are so much better and I am so happy again. Congratulations on your itchy baby!
 
@revstockton Thank you for sharing this.. my pregnancy was fairly smooth, but my delivery and birth story were terrible. My LO spent 2 weeks in the nicu, and I was stuck at a different hospital from him for a few days after birth. My boyfriend has been nothing short of amazing during all of this. We are obviously dealing with the normal lack of sleep, occasional meltdowns and whatnot, but this has been such a wonderful experience compared to what I was told/expecting.
 
@revstockton I have some relatives with useless husbands and multiple children…..never understood it. The baby making would be closed for business if I didn’t get help and support!
 
@revstockton Thanks for sharing. As a dad that has a newborn at home , currently sleeping on my chest, I appreciate immensely how tough you moms are. It’s unreal what you go through to create, grow and sustain life. I am confident in saying I am doing everything I can to help with this process. As a dad, our needs don’t compare to mom’s needs and our attentiveness often goes overlooked. I hope moms hug the dads and verbalize how thankful they are to have them around. Second baby here and I’ve yet to hear those words from my partner, in any meaningful way. Thanks
 
@ortho Well I will thank you for what you are doing. It’s a tough job and most men are usually hands off so great job for taking care of your LO. I have a 4 month old and my husband jumped in from day one. I was still groggy from my delivery and he had already started taking care of our boy. I thank him all the time for everything he does for me and my baby. It truly makes a difference during the postpartum period. I’m sure your partner does appreciate all you do.
 
@flabound Thank you for kind response. It felt good hearing that. Verbalizing our appreciations can go a long way. Even though you think the other person is needing to do more. Cheers to you and your helpful SO.
 
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