Can't transfer baby to crib - what am I doing wrong??

[rightway16]

LO is 8 weeks old and then had been going on since week 5. Before that he was a perfect sleeper.

• White noise machine on
• Blackout curtains
• Sleep sack
• Tired baby
• I rock him until he falls asleep and then have tried everytime interval between 0-20 minutes just holding him still
• I've tried rocking him as I put him in the crib
• Booty down first then head
• Keep arms from dropping so he doesn't startle
• Limp arm test
• Not cold 73 degrees in the house

Everytime I try to slide my arm from under his head he wakes up (I've also tried uncradling him before putting him down so only my hand is under his head). Normally I can shush and put my hand on his chest until he falls back to sleep. But once I leave the room he normally makes it 3 minutes and is screaming. Then he becomes over tired all day because we do this over and over for 2 hours until it's time for him to eat again.

I don't know what to even try next.

 

[seeker88]

@rightway16 In my experience, and based on a lot of posts I’ve read in this sub and other parenting subs, you’re not doing anything wrong. You’re still in the fourth trimester and assisted naps are the norm right now. My son was the same way. He was great in the crib until about 5 weeks. Then he “woke up” and realized he wasn’t inside of me anymore. So we said bye bye to crib naps until he was around 13 weeks old. At that point he started showing signs that he was ready to go back to the crib (self soothing and basically kicking us away when we tried to rock him). He takes his naps in the crib now, although if I want a consistent bedtime I contact nap for 1-2 naps of the day.

You may find that if you lean into assisted naps for a bit (contact or baby wear), baby will be ready to go back to the crib in a month or so, maybe less, maybe more. You can always keep practicing crib naps (usually the first nap of the day is the easiest), but I found trying to practice crib naps before my son had self soothing skills did more harm than good. Once you go back to the crib, naps will likely be short (30-45 min) as most babies don’t start connecting sleep cycles for naps until 5-6 months. As baby grows and can handle longer wake windows the naps will start to consolidate with the added sleep pressure. My son is 4.5 months now and I’m starting to see the longer crib naps come back, although they are not consistent at all.

Edit: Spelling

 

[anduma22]

@rightway16 You're not doing anything wrong. He's being a completely normal 8-week old baby. This is typical with newborns, and even with many older babies. They don't want to sleep alone. They don't want to sleep alone in their crib/bassinet. There are some unicorn newborns that don't mind sleeping alone, but most newborns will want to sleep on you/next to you, if given half the chance.

My daughter is 4.5 months and she only recently stopped waking up as soon as I transferred her. She still registers a change when I transfer her-- she knows the crib mattress feels cooler, different, firmer. She typically grunts and changes position, usually onto her belly, then goes to sleep. It took almost 5 months for us to get here though.

Edit:

I'd suggest babywearing if your baby responds well to it. I tried 5 different carriers with my baby, and she was never the type to sleep or even chill in her carrier. Babywearing is a game changer if it works for you and your baby.

 

[hope013]

@anduma22 How do you get sleep if baby needs to contact nap?

 

[mattbrown1022]

@hope013 When people talk about contact napping they are usually talking about daytime sleep, not night time. Night time sleep develops earlier than daytime sleep and I think most babies cAn be laid down at night and sleep at least for a while at a time.

 

[3eyeswideopen]

@mattbrown1022 Mine is so the opposite. She naps alone just fine but cannot be put down at night

 

[mattbrown1022]

@3eyeswideopen Ugh that's painful

 

[elizabethray68]

@rightway16 It might be that baby just wants to snuggle, they do that.

You can also try putting a warm hot water bottle in the bed whilst you rock them to sleep then remove it just before you put them down so the matress isn't cold after being snuggled with your body heat, this is literally the only thing that worked for my oldest

 

[wowdarling]

@rightway16 You're not doing anything wrong, babies are just different. Some are more sensitive and need more skin-to-skin and more of your warmth and presence. I couldn't put my baby down for the first 6 months (she napped in my arms, and we co-slept). And it wasn't for lack of trying every trick in the book.

 

[scoop22]

@rightway16 You’re not doing anything wrong.

Babies just do that, unfortunately.

When mine was that age, I left in stages- hand on belly, then hand on arm, then leaning over crib but not touching, little by little easing away. At one point, I even left a stack of my worn clothes next to the crib so my smell was on it. I know it seems silly but they can totally sense you being there and gradually reducing the “being there” was helpful for my son.

 

[magdaleenmeyer]

@rightway16 Mine got easier to put down once the moro reflex disappeared but had to nap on me till she was around 8 months old.

Some babies are just velcro babies and you've got one sorry.

 

[simonpeter111]

@rightway16 8 weeks was just a brutal time for us. I remember many nights where there was nothing wrong, we'd done all the things, but she was only not screaming if I was walking with her and singing. I doubt you're doing anything wrong. Baby is likely just going through a rough phase. I know you're exhausted and I know you feel helpless and hopeless in the thick of it, but try to remember that every stage is temporary and this one will also pass.

 

[pauellcowl]

@rightway16 You aren't doing anything wrong. Something I've learned as a parent is that even when you do everything "right" sometimes you are not rewarded with the result you were promised. It's maddening. But sometimes baby misses the memo, you know? Lol.

Take the pressure off yourself. Try to do things right, but then when you go through periods where it doesn't work, just accept it and do your best. Maybe enjoy some newborn held or carrier naps. If you can believe it, those wont last for long.

 

[creator123]

@rightway16 I didn’t look at all the comments but wanted to add a suggestion:

When your arm is still under him, put your other hand on his chest with gentle but firm pressure. As if you still have him held to you. As you pull out the underneath hand, keep the top hand’s pressure steady.

Once your underneath hand is free, you can slowly let up the pressure then pull away the top hand.

 

[creator123]

Also want to echo that you’re not doing anything wrong and that this part gets easier!!

 

[uncleabee]

@rightway16 Haha this was me 100% and still is. She’s almost 5 months old and we still contact nap—I’ve been afraid to try again, since messy naps mess up the entire day. She has next to no issues transferring into the crib at night, and never had issues with her bassinet as a newborn until the crib.

 

[tatig]

@rightway16 You're not doing anything wrong. I have had better luck with soothing baby to calm, placing them in the crib and then singing and patting them to sleep. That way you just move your hand off of them. Not all babies like this though.

 

[mattbrown1022]

@rightway16 Is he swaddled? If he's not rolling yet you might try it.

 

[rightway16]

@mattbrown1022 He's hated being swaddled since he was born because he only like to sleep in "football goalpost" form

 

[buckeye_momof4]

@rightway16 Have you tried swaddling with his arms out so he can still do that? We really liked the Aden & Anais swaddles because they transitioned really well to arms out.