@celise I didn't have a "rescue me" code word with my parents and I really wish I did. I will definitely implement this with my child.
However, we had a code for "hard no, don't ask, don't argue" in public, it was some vague expression like "interesting option." It allowed everyone to better advocate for themselves with minimal pressure.
For instance, if at a family dinner my aunt asked me to join her church's choir, answering "What an interesting option!" gave the cue to my mom to refuse on my behalf, so ten-year-old me didn't have to explain to a room full of adults that she didn't want to sing about Jesus.
@celise My mom did this for me. It was in the 90s mostly so no texting but we had an understanding. I have always been incredibly introverted so I utilized the strategy more than once. My mom was also the safe space for several of my friends when we were older. She was the mom with the snacks, she was the mom with the basement you could crash in, she was the mom that would help you get help if you needed it. It all stemmed from the “make me the bad guy and I’ve got you” communication.
My babe is still a toddler but I will always try my best to do the same.
@kiraa Is your mom also my mom? Also a 90s and 2000s kid, no cellphone or texting, but I could always use her as an excuse. She was also all the rest of the things you described and I still talk to her every day.
@celise I absolutely love this. My son is 9 and doesn’t have the heart to say no. This mama will always be the lame one to get him out of any situation he wouldn’t wanna be in
@celise Yessssss I tell my kids all the time, blame me. I truly don’t mind and I will be there in a heartbeat or be your reason why you can’t. Your friends can be mad at me.
@celise Absolutely!! I really about a bunch of people who did this on reddit and told my kids to always blame me if they are put into situations they don't want to be in. They can call anytime and I'll be the mean/lame parent anyday!
@celise My daughters are 16 and 14 and we have an emoji code that we use. Whenever they're in a situation that they don't want to be in, they send a turtle emoji and I know to come pick them up asap. We got the turtle idea from a Go Noodle dance that says "Awkward turtles make weird babies" since the situation they're in is awkward and uncomfortable.
@celise My parents are foreign so all I had to do was call and talk to them in a foreign language to tell them I wanted to go home and nobody would understand it
@celise My mom had me do this when I was in high school. This was back in the 90s so no texting but if I didn’t want to go to a party or something I’d say I have to ask my mom and I’d put my hand over the phone poorly so they could still hear and while I said, “mom can I go to this party?” I could make a face or a gesture to show I really didn’t want to go. She’d loudly say no you need to stay home because you didn’t clean your room/Grandma is coming over for diner/you’ve already gone out too much.
I could even protest while smile at her and giving a thumbs up.
@papagiorgio I used to call my mom from my friends home phone telling her, "I forgot what time I was supposed to be home." That was usually code for I'm ready to come home, but feel rude for leaving earlier than planned. So she would ask me if I want to come home now or later and if I said "now" then I would loudly say "10 more minutes?" OK fine. And then tell my friend sorry my mom said I have to go home now.
@papagiorgio I did that with my mom for this friend who would talk on the phone way too long. Forget what the signal was exactly, but I'd do it and she'd then loudly say I need to do some chore or something. It was great.
