The greatest advice I ever read about getting your child out of an uncomfortable situation is this: Set up a code where it's the parent's fault the child has to leave.
My daughters are 9 and 10. When they are over a friend's house, and later on in life, when they are out with friends, if a situation arises that they are just not comfortable with, they know they can text me a certain emoji of an object they hate (a hot dog for the 10 year old and broccoli for the 9 year old), and I will call and "make" them leave.
This eliminates the opportunity for them to be made fun of for not being cool. If those emojis ever pop up on my screen, I will call them and fake yell at them about a set of chores that should've been done before they left, or an assignment I found with an F on it. "If you think you can prioritize friends over responsibilities, you're sorely mistaken!" Perhaps Grandma suddenly became very ill and I have to come and get them immediately. You get the picture. The point is that it's my doing that my child has to leave, and I'm the lame one instead of them.
When we are safely away from the situation, whatever it may be, that's the opportunity to talk about what happened, and the next steps. Being my children's wingman in these types of situations is invaluable for building trust for our parent/child relationship as they get older and have to navigate the scariness that is being a tween and teenager.
I hope this helps someone out there build a trusting relationship with your child/children. Please share the advice with anyone you know who has kids of their own and comment below about what you'd use as an excuse to get your child out of an uncomfortable situation.
My daughters are 9 and 10. When they are over a friend's house, and later on in life, when they are out with friends, if a situation arises that they are just not comfortable with, they know they can text me a certain emoji of an object they hate (a hot dog for the 10 year old and broccoli for the 9 year old), and I will call and "make" them leave.
This eliminates the opportunity for them to be made fun of for not being cool. If those emojis ever pop up on my screen, I will call them and fake yell at them about a set of chores that should've been done before they left, or an assignment I found with an F on it. "If you think you can prioritize friends over responsibilities, you're sorely mistaken!" Perhaps Grandma suddenly became very ill and I have to come and get them immediately. You get the picture. The point is that it's my doing that my child has to leave, and I'm the lame one instead of them.
When we are safely away from the situation, whatever it may be, that's the opportunity to talk about what happened, and the next steps. Being my children's wingman in these types of situations is invaluable for building trust for our parent/child relationship as they get older and have to navigate the scariness that is being a tween and teenager.
I hope this helps someone out there build a trusting relationship with your child/children. Please share the advice with anyone you know who has kids of their own and comment below about what you'd use as an excuse to get your child out of an uncomfortable situation.