Audiobooks to deal with yelling?

[drawingangel2]

I would like to work on my yelling.
I often get complimented by family how patient I am, and although it’s true, it’s like once my patience is gone I automatically go to yelling. Kinda like 0 to 85, if that makes sense. I am noticing I am more prone to yell toward the end of the day (naturally more tired). I know I should step away when getting overwhelmed and I will work on that but I’m hoping to learn some other coping mechanisms to try and reduce how much I yell.

For reference my kids are 3 and 1. One very big trigger for yelling is my 3 year old can be very aggressive and mean to 1 year old. After trying to defuse the situation or separate them and 3 year old continues to hit/scream at 1 year old I lose it.

Any tips or coping mechanisms for when you are at your breaking point?

 

[luxianzhong]

@drawingangel2 Check out the audiobook “How to talk so little kids will listen” it has some good tips for dealing with sibling conflicts and how to keep your cool. I also like the podcast “Unruffled” by Janet Lansbury. Good luck!

 

[deerlane]

@drawingangel2 I could have written this. I’m the same way, same age kids even. And people also compliment me on how patient I am. I would also be interested in tips, audiobooks and the like.

 

[peggyleggy]

@drawingangel2 I used to yell as a teacher. I wouldn't even be mad. It was a natural reaction like, “if I am louder, they will hear me better.” nope.

My piece of advice is to turn everything you want to yell into a song. Google “Call and Response” and “attention grabbers” might help you snap your 3 year old out of it. I think my toddler would like me to yell, “Macaroni and Cheese!” then they say, “Freeze!”

I found this song book. I am sure Youtube has great examples too. https://books.google.com/books/about/Gentle_Hands_and_Other_Sing_Along_Songs.html?id=NIGADwAAQBAJ

 

[doralyn]

@drawingangel2 Definitely unruffled podcast with Janet Lansbury.

Also, I’ve started therapy and that has helped a lot.

 

[michaelp3]

@drawingangel2 I second the "How to talk so little kids will listen" for alternative ways of communicating, and even how to yell effectively. Also adding in "Raising good humans" for identifying your personal triggers and working through them. Both of those strongly encourage meditation, for that I use an app called Atom.

Thanks for this post, I might have to check out that podcast being suggested myself. My kids are the same ages as yours, it sure is a struggle! Here for you, BroMo!

 

[ladybee]

@drawingangel2 Siblings Without Rivalry was a good one.

 

[adnane]

@drawingangel2 I need this too. I yelled at my kids at 4am when they woke me up again for the 5th time. I was definitely tired.

 

[lexmil]

@drawingangel2 I don’t have an audiobook suggestion, but I know that frustration. I snapped with my toddler once and threw a bottle of Hershey’s syrup on the floor. The top blew off and shot chocolate across both the kitchen and the dining room. I went from anger to dumb-ass in a quarter second. Also kicked his dresser and broke the drawer face. I put myself in “time-out” for that one, because we have to lead by following our own rules.

Try to remember that a bad day isn’t going to mess your kid up. And I mean, the siblings will work shit out themselves, over time. Keep your cool, because what they’re doing doesn’t matter. It’s just frustrating. Put a kid in a room and let him cry it out, you go stand on the other side of the house and try to relax. Good luck!

 

[lilly159]

@drawingangel2 I started the whole brain child - and there’s some stuff in there that doesn’t work for me, but overall, it gives me a good understanding of how their little brains work. I like my research based in science, so it just felt more “helpful” to me.

I will say that it requires restraint (which I obviously felt like I didn’t have because I was yelling) but after practicing some of the techniques, I’ve been able to curb a lot (but not all) of my yelling.

 

[tommyszc]

@drawingangel2 Dr Becky has an episode on her podcast and it’s about mom rage. It’s so good. Basically, what you have to learn to do is widen the gap between that feeling like you want to yell and actually yelling. If your needs aren’t getting met, the gap is too short to be able to pause and respond a different way. Thinking about how I’m feeling in the moment and what I need and even realizing when I’m starting to feel on edge and need to widen that gap have been helpful for me!