Are we using the carrier as a crutch?

[sharz]

My 7 week old is generally a pretty good sleeper if conditions are optimal. The optimal conditions are basically the carrier, occasionally a chest if she’s just been nursing. I know you can’t form bad habits at this stage, but I’m wondering how much we’re setting ourselves up for failure by relying on the carrier too much. I’ve never had her in it when she’s wide awake (the window is too small), it’s always when she needs a nap, so I’m not sure how she’d react in that situation, but basically as soon as we put her in it she cries/fusses for about 5 minutes and then she’s asleep HARD. It’s like a baby sleeping pill. She will sleep for hours in this thing. It’s so much easier than the swaddling and rocking and shushing etc. etc. etc. We will usually try the traditional methods once (which takes 30 plus minutes only for her to wake up half an hour later), then we’ll pop her in the carrier. At night we have her in the carrier for about an hour and then will transfer her to our bed. If we’re having a lucky night, her bassinet. But sometimes I just keep her in the carrier because it’s less exhausting staying awake knowing she’s going to stay sleeping at night.

Are we forming a terrible habit?? I see people talk about their babies who are the same age who are sleeping all night independently!! And I feel like I’m doing something very wrong.

 

[chriatopher]

@sharz You are not forming a terrible habit. Baby sleep is wildly individual and when they are so little it's all about whatever works. I've known a tonne of babies who've all needed different things to fall asleep under 1; you could not tell now at their bedtime who needed to be carried or bounced or rocked or none of that.

 

[keobong79]

@sharz Hi, we do the same thing right now for all daytime naps, and our baby is the same age as yours. Otherwise baby doesn't sleep during the day. I don't think it's a crutch.

We do try to get him to sleep in the bassinet or crib occasionally, and he only sleeps for like 10 l/15 minutes tops. I just know one day we'll get there and don't stress it.

Would love to get free time during naps, though!

 

[sharz]

@keobong79 What do you do at nighttime? I’m in awe of babies that sleep in the bassinet at night!

 

[keobong79]

@sharz At night our baby oddly goes down once we swaddle him. Sometimes we have to jiggle the bassinet until he's out. I wish I could tell you we've done more but I think we just got lucky with a baby that sleep well at night but not during the day.

 

[sharz]

@keobong79 It seems to be fairly common! Maybe one day for us too

 

[teey]

@sharz Try the 5 Ss. Swaddle, (lay on) side in arms, swing (in arms), (loudly) sssshhhh towards their ear and suck (your pinky) if needed. Should get your LO calm, drowsy and ready for bed within minutes. Takes some practice but been a lifesaver for us.

 

[sharz]

@teey Oh we’ve done it all! We can get her into what we think is a deep sleep, she just doesn’t stay asleep very long.

 

[clock17]

@sharz My baby is almost 4 months and had never really taken a nap in her bed at home. At daycare she will, but at home I don't even really case to try.

But she sleeps 9-10 hours a night unbroken in her bed. She never would sleep in her bassinet. It wasn't until about 6 weeks when we found out she liked her crib better and would sleep great there. We just slept on an air mattress next to her crib. The we moved crib to our room. So we enjoy the nap cuddles on weekends and sleep through the night.

 

[sharz]

@clock17 I’ve heard this that certain babies like cribs but not bassinets! We don’t have one yet but maybe we should try that. I wonder what it is about the crib that they prefer

 

[clock17]

@sharz My little one moves a ton in her sleep. At 6 weeks she was spinning in circles in her bed. In the tiny bassinet she would hit the sides and wake herself up.

She has also done fine in a pack and play. That would be cheaper than a crib to try.

 

[hiswayorhighway]

@sharz Obviously not a thing if you're swaddling, but my baby prefers his crib because he likes to T pose in his sleep.

 

[sampara]

@sharz We used to walk our oldest to sleep in the carrier almost every time until she was almost two and then we'd transfer her to her bed. She slowly started to sleep longer periods, but she's only recently started to sleep through the night. She's 3 now.

But those first months she rarely slept more than two hours in a row.. Sometimes she'd burst herself to sleep and I could just lift her into her co-sleeper, but usually it was nurse, carrier, sleep, bed. The worst was when the transfer from carrier to bed failed.

 

[elfwine]

@sharz Absolutely not—you’re not doing anything wrong. You’re doing what is considered normal in the vast majority of the world—it is biologically normal and to be expected that babies sleep best when attached/held by their caregiver. It’s also normal and PROTECTIVE (against SIDS and for your milk supply) for babies to wake throughout the night. You’re doing a really good thing by supporting your newborn to sleep in this way!

 

[drbernadette]

@sharz I don’t think so. Baby-wearing on the back is very common where I come from (continent of Africa) for many generations and no one (including myself) who was carried that way reports ever having issues with sleeping independently.

 

[andybrooks]

@sharz Even if you were (and you aren’t), it wouldn’t matter. It’s working for everyone. That’s what matters. Just make sure to follow safe sleep/ safe sleep seven, whichever apply.

Seven weeks. Baby is barely out of the womb. They have been snuggled for nine months straight. It’s the babies who are chill and ok sleeping by themselves for many hours who are the surprise. Not the babies who want to be right on their adult. That’s to be expected.

My kid pretty much contact napped only for a looong time. Also nursed to sleep for literal years. He’s now a super easy to bed preschooler. Easiest in our friend group, where a lot of the easy baby/ toddlers turned into challenging at sleep preschoolers.

Be gentle with yourself and your own expectations. You are doing just fine and your baby is too

 

[sharz]

@andybrooks Thank you, i appreciate this. I think I’d be less concerned about this if it meant we were getting more sleep too, but some nights if she’ll only sleep in the carrier it means I’m up all night and I would really really really like to get more sleep

 

[etant]

@sharz Have you considered bedsharing? Sleeping and nursing in the cuddle curl at night literally saved me and my sanity. At seven weeks, my daughter would also only sleep in a carrier or wrap during the day and I was terrified that she wouldn’t be able to sleep anywhere else at night forever. Now, at almost five months of age, she will only nap in our bed during the day. She still loves the carrier, but prefers to stay awake and look around while in it.
If you’re not entirely comfortable with bedsharing (very understandable), one option could be your partner supervising you. You need and deserve sleep! x

 

[sharz]

@etant I have! I can’t figure it out. I’m already a bad sleeper (pre baby), so it’s not really a good set up. I’m so uncomfortable staying in one position, and I get so cold. Side lying nursing seems great in theory, but she will fall asleep after nursing, then wake up approximately 5 minutes later because she is gassy/has reflux and needs to be upright after eating, then will be wide awake. She’s so squirmy, I have no idea how to settle her at this point. She definitely doesn’t let me cuddle her to sleep in bed next to me, she has to be on my chest/stomach. Then if she does fall asleep next to me, she’s so active and noisy in her sleep, it keeps me up anyway.

 

[etant]

@sharz I understand, I guess I have been fortunate enough that my baby settles down fairly quickly, as long as she gets to sleep next to me. I’m sure you’ll find a solution that works better for you soon!