Anyone else following the Possums sleep approach?

[youcantsitwithus]

Update!:

For those asking about my experience, I’m going to do my best to concisely explain the main points of the approach, and add my personal experience as well.

Possums is a sleep research institute that focuses on maternal well being, breastfeeding, and infant/toddler sleep (and how these factors intersect). They take a science-based approach to sleep, and I’m told it’s the only approach that is 100% based on real sleep science.

Possums approach to infant/toddler sleep is cue-based. Meaning watch your baby, learn your baby’s cues. No one-size-fits-all approach, just some basic understanding of sleep science, and some tweaks you can make based on what you feel is an issue.

(Disclaimer: I think most everyone subscribed to this sub knows infants and toddlers are meant to wake throughout the night, so please keep that in mind. This isn’t going to be a magic approach that allows your kiddo to sleep for 12 hours straight.)

What are the biological factors that control sleep?

1. The sleep/wake homeostat: As long as you’re awake, sleep pressure is building. Sleeping relieves that sleep pressure. Adults can be awake for longer, and relieve most/all their sleep pressure at night (bedtime) when there’s a big drop-off i.e. We sleep for 7 or 8 hours and wake up rested and ready for another day (not us moms, I know I know lol). Infants and toddlers can’t stay awake as long, so they need to relieve some of that sleep pressure throughout the day (via naps!) This doesn’t mean they need to have these huge drop offs in sleep pressure throughout the day, but simply taking the edge off the sleep pressure (a 20 minute nap can do this, as some of you have undoubtedly witnessed when your kiddo naps for 15 and wakes up with plenty of energy). Infants and toddlers will also see the biggest drop off in sleep pressure at the end of the night for bedtime.
2. Circadian Rhythm. I’m sure most of you are familiar. We are creatures of this planet! We are awake with the sun, and asleep when it’s dark.

So here are some bits of the Possums approach in random order based on what I can immediately recall

1. There is no such thing as being over-tied. To make sure your infant is dialed down (not fussy, cranky, fighting sleep) and those 2 biological sleep regulators can do their job, you should ensure your little one has plenty of nourishing stimulation outside the home (damn you, COVID!!) and nursing/feeding is well established. Nourishing stimulation means sunshine, new experiences, new faces, (all the things COVID has robbed us of lol) but basically take your baby with you on your errands. Stop watching the clock. As long as their brains are stimulated, they are getting sunshine, and they’re fed, those sleep regulators will kick in and they. will. nap!
2. Daytime naps: Because we are not trying to have this huge drop off in sleep pressure (let’s save that for bedtime!) we should encourage little ones to only take the sleep they need during the day. To do that, we let them nap in daylight with regular daytime sounds around them (no blackout curtains, no sound machine). 15 min nap? Fine. 20 minute nap? Fine. 30 min? 1 hour? Fine! If they wake up horribly upset, you can try to get them down for longer, if not, carry on with the day!
3. Bedtime: This is when we want the sleep pressure to be high, so I’ve heard Possums parents discuss capping naps at a certain hour (lots of experimentation with naps/bedtime based on your specific child.) Then, their sleep pressure is up, the sunlight is gone and they can get that big drop off and sleep longer stretches at night.
4. Learn the difference between your baby saying “im bored, let’s do something else” and “im sleepy, time for bed.” For us, bored is fussy. Tired is rubbing eyes, staring off into space.
5. Get in the habit of waking up at the same time every morning (pick a time that works for your family!) This (done consistently over 1 or 2 weeks) will help the body’s circadian rhythm regulate. Possums always recommends this first to address excessive night wakings.
6. Don’t fear a later bedtime. Possums research suggests a later bedtime works better for many families (7:30-9pm is very common)
7. Go with the flow! Practice mindfulness, deep breathing. Do not stress about a missed nap, a later bedtime, etc. Focus on spending time with your baby doing new exciting things (I know this sounds woo-woo but this really helped me!!) All babies are different, the range is really wide in what’s “normal” for infant sleep. Trust your baby will take the sleep they need, and the older they get, the less daytime sleep they will need, and the longer those night stretches will get.

How I have implemented this personally (started at 4 months, son is now 11 months)

We try to wake up at 7:30 every morning (this part is hard but if I notice more frequent night wake ups, then I try to kick my ass back into gear on this front lol)

First thing in the morning, we put him in his high chair by a bright window and have breakfast. Hello circadian clock!!

My son takes 2 daytime naps most of the time, these days he can take 1, we just go with what happens each day based on his cues. If he has less daytime sleep than I expect, I consider doing a slightly earlier bath and bedtime. I never force anything, he sleeps when he’s good and ready because fighting him to nap or go to bed is pointless.

Obviously COVID days have been a challenge, but I still try to get him in the yard, water play, sensory play, a new puzzle, playing with the dogs, visiting grandma, even a play date here and there. Drive in the car, walk around the block, we recently took him to the beach and he loved it. Stimulating that growing brain!

Bathtime can be anytime between 6:30 and 7:30, again based on how the day has been. After bath time he goes to bed within the hour on most days. When he’s not teething, leaping, or mastering some other milestone (he just took his first steps) he’ll wake 1 to 3 times from bedtime to 7:30am and that’s just to dream feed (we bed share).

We experimented with how much daytime sleep is ideal for him at this stage. That’s to say, I wake him up from his naps so he doesn’t sleep more than 2 hours total during the day. Again, that is for our little one, every baby has different sleep preferences and needs. Waking a ton during the night? Try implementing some of the Possums suggestions, and if you’re at your wits end, they offer Skype consultations and the parents I know who have done them have been really happy as they tailor their suggestions to your specific situation (they ask you a ton of questions!)

Happy to answer any specific questions. You can buy their sleep video (I think it's $40? and it's a non-profit institute so it's not some money grab) and see Dr. Pamela Douglas give the overview, and even watch some sleep consults with families. In general I love the holistic approach, I love that they focus on maternal health (I do deep breathing as I nurse him to sleep for bedtime, and in general I'm not stressing about his sleep anymore and that has done wonders for my life.)

x

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I feel so lucky to have stumbled across the Possums Sleep Clinic through various facebook group conversations (specifically The Beyond Sleep Training Project) and it has really done wonders for my stress and my son's sleep (started when he was 4 months, he is now 11 months). I've since deleted my Facebook (for other reasons) and this subreddit has been a great resource, so I thought I'd try to connect with other parents who may be following Possums.

For anyone interested: https://possumsonline.com/

 

[craftygirl]

@youcantsitwithus Would you mind summarising what the most important bits were for those of us still too sleep deprived to research?

 

[david77123]

@craftygirl Ditto! I want to know what it is. My older relatives all say they just let their baby sleep when they fell asleep on their own wherever and it blows my mind. Is it like that? Are we all being sold $$$ on the concept that our babies are bad sleepers because they don't adhere to these sleep times everyone obsesses over?

 

[crismate88]

@david77123 I was lucky enough to have a postpartum midwife that taught me this approach. Essentially, she said babies sleep when they want to sleep. If you follow sleepy cues (try the huckleberry app for help), they really do fall asleep whenever and wherever. It helps me to this day on the rare occasion my 9 month old doesn't want to fall asleep

 

[david77123]

@crismate88 I follow wake times and sleep cues, but we still struggle most days. Heaven forbid a poop is on the way, or she will not fall asleep until after it happens. She has cut 6 teeth since mid-June, so maybe that has something to do with it too? I think she is consolidating naps to 2 a day instead of 3 now, so that's throwing me for a loop. Her 1st nap used to be pretty consistent out of all of her sleep, but now I am trying to figure that one out too. It's been 4+ hour wake window before I can get her down for the 1st nap the last 2 days, which sucks. I miss my morning walks. She'd fall asleep after 1.75h wake window and dad would chill while I could go outside. I think I lose that time to myself now though. I've always breastfed baby to sleep too. She just won't fall asleep any other way. Night sleep has me wanting to rip my hair out right now too. I'd kill for 4 straight hours of sleep in a night right now. Sighs.

 

[kdm1984]

@david77123 I know the poop problem as well. She won't fall asleep if a poop is on it's way. And she will wake up if a poop happens while she naps.

 

[youcantsitwithus]

@crismate88 Yay!! Great to connect. We used the huckleberry app for the first few weeks of implementing possums, just to see if my son had any kind of natural nap rhythm and lo and behold he did! I'm like wow if I just get out of this kid's way, he does exactly what I need him to do. Amazing.

 

[sirrob]

@david77123 I commented above about the gist of this, in case you wanted an answer. I don’t want to spam the thread.

 

[david77123]

@sirrob Hey! Thanks so much!

 

[sirrob]

@craftygirl It’s essentially an approach that says if you keep babies properly stimulated, that they’ll naturally tire out and once the sleep pressure is high enough they’ll just fall asleep naturally and sleep as much as they need. No white noise, no darkened rooms. I think there’s a bit more to it, but that’s the idea. You don’t go by wake windows or strict bedtimes, but you always wake them at the same as me time of day. It’s not for all babies, apparently. I was really hopeful for my son, but he doesn’t seem cut out for it.

 

[youcantsitwithus]

@sirrob Sorry to hear it didn't work for you? Did you end up doing a consult with them? Wondering how that went if you did...