@kezia I think you both need to work on your communication. You both sound “entitled” to thinking your own work is more important than the other person’s and that the other person should take care of the kids.
Very different situation but still the same lack of communication: I work from home and watch the baby. On my husband’s days off he assumes he can work on stuff around the house and run errands. I assume he’ll take care of the baby. Neither of us are wrong in our desires, but we’re both wrong to make assumptions and not communicate with each other.
@katrina2017 i want to thank you so much for this comment. i’m not going to lie, these responses have been pretty devastating. i felt really unsupported this morning and i shouldn’t have posted bc this really knocked me down. your post touched me and lifted me and i really needed it. thank you. i feel very understood by what you’ve said.
i’ve also heard the other commenters and will do a better job communicating in the future. but damn, no, you can’t just ignore your kids all day bc they’re not toddlers.
@kezia I am shocked by the comments here. I had to check and make sure I wasn’t on some submissive wife thread by accident. I am so sorry you’re getting treated this way.
@buycheapestviagraedu He KNEW the kids were off school. Why the heck is it on OP to figure it all out. It is super entitled of parent B to just walk out the door.
@katrina2017 I think she means she said the kids are staying home at so and so date but didn't actually arrange the day in terms of who will be staying home and who is too busy etc
@katrina2017 They both made incorrect assumptions here. What most people are trying to say is they’re both wrong even if he’s a little more wrong. She very easily could have said “can you WFH today too to help me with the kids?” Instead she waited until he was walking out the door to just make a face rather than actually saying she had an issue. Making a face to know it’s gonna start a fight isn’t exactly great communication either.
Just because he handled it wrong doesn’t mean she handled it RIGHT.
@kezia How old are the kids? I feel like school age kids would be fine being at home.
Also, going to add like everyone else- how is this not communicated before? If parent B works for himself, can he also just take the kids and have them play office?
We would often join my mom at work and I remember it being a highlight of my childhood. My mom would give me and my brother each others extension number, pull out all the paper from the recycle, provided what felt like an unlimited supply of highlighters/ pens, and a stapler- it was such an amazing and fun time!
@kezia I thinks parent A is overwhelmed. SAHM is a full time job, so is a WFH. This seems like a unsustainable system. So this should never have been the routine to start with.
However, if both parents agree with this plan... and parent B is following "normal routine", I can see why they didn't bother to clear it with the other parent.
@kezia Don’t really understand this situation. Did everyone know the kids had the day off in advance or was it like the school cancelled in the morning due to snow or a burst pipe or something?
If it was a sudden unexpected day off then yeah I think it’s odd that parent B would just go off to work without offering help or asking what’s going to happen with childcare and parent A being upset is understandable if this was all last minute and suddenly the other parent is just leaving then to feel with it.
If it was a scheduled day off for the kids then it’s odd the parents didn’t discuss plans beforehand, and if parent A knew they’d need help and for B to work from home then why didn’t they say that the day before or earlier so the two could plan? Yeah parent B could’ve brought it up in advance too but it’s strange for parent A to get mad just as B is leaving, as though they just expected B to wfh today without any discussion in advance. Just seems like bad communication from both parties.
@kezia Both of you should've talked about it beforehand. Parent B was probably busy minded and couldn't make the assumption for parent A. It should've been discussed.
@kezia I just started planning way in advance how I was going to handle my kid’s days off without asking my partner to “help”. It has been a major stress relief to know that I know what’s going on, my kids know what the plan is going to be, AND partner offers to “help” and be part of that relief more often. My teenagers are starting to make their own arrangements, including travel (not driving yet) for their days off of school. This helps everyone learn time management and planning and communication.
