Dear You,
Is making your teenage child sleep on the couch without allowing them to get up from the couch after a certain hour, even to go to the restroom, through the threat of selling all of that child's furniture, as punishment, considered child abuse? Two so far have said yes. One has said "Not really". Another asked for more information, so here it is.
https://www.quora.com/Is-making-you...ng-all-of-that-childs-furniture-as-punishment
This is happening to my 15-year-old girlfriend (I'm 16). Her parents threatened to sell all furniture in her room if she did not sleep on the couch for TWO WEEKS or until they move in MARCH or later, and when she got on the couch at 9 p.m. she could not leave that couch, even to go to the bathroom. Doing so would risk losing her bed, drawers, everything. And get this: she's being punished for speaking her mind, confiding in her mother, telling her that she feels unsafe around her and that she makes her really, really sad. Her mother did not take it well (as often parents do because parents many times cannot seem to understand) and extended this punishment she originally was given because she went to bed at 10 rather than 9 on a school night. My girlfriend has also told me that at times, they'll even make her sleep outside, but that's not too common. These Mormon parents force her to go to church, missionary prep, etc. when she doesn't think of herself as Mormon, for she believes the religion to be sexist and old-minded. As Mormons, the stereotype would seem to suggest that they're nice, friendly, and loving; however, from what I have witnessed (when going to her house) and from what I have heard, her parents are truly unsafe to be around. Here's a list of evidence:
She cries all the time, and she's miserable. She has a history of severe-ass depression (and I mean that BAD shit, like, she felt NUMB.) and I worry every day that one day it'll come back for good. She's felt numb every now and then recently. Her parents are killing her, mentally, and without any way to really contact her other than driving to her house, I can't really be there to support her as much as I'd like to. She's said multiple times that she wishes she could leave that hellhole, but if she did, she'd desperately miss her baby brother, the person she loves most in the world. Additionally, she recently told me that her parents may make her share a room with her 16 year-old brother in the new house.
Anyways, what are your opinions? Is this child abuse? Could I help her? Get her out of there, if she truly wanted to?
Sincerely,
Me.
Is making your teenage child sleep on the couch without allowing them to get up from the couch after a certain hour, even to go to the restroom, through the threat of selling all of that child's furniture, as punishment, considered child abuse? Two so far have said yes. One has said "Not really". Another asked for more information, so here it is.
https://www.quora.com/Is-making-you...ng-all-of-that-childs-furniture-as-punishment
This is happening to my 15-year-old girlfriend (I'm 16). Her parents threatened to sell all furniture in her room if she did not sleep on the couch for TWO WEEKS or until they move in MARCH or later, and when she got on the couch at 9 p.m. she could not leave that couch, even to go to the bathroom. Doing so would risk losing her bed, drawers, everything. And get this: she's being punished for speaking her mind, confiding in her mother, telling her that she feels unsafe around her and that she makes her really, really sad. Her mother did not take it well (as often parents do because parents many times cannot seem to understand) and extended this punishment she originally was given because she went to bed at 10 rather than 9 on a school night. My girlfriend has also told me that at times, they'll even make her sleep outside, but that's not too common. These Mormon parents force her to go to church, missionary prep, etc. when she doesn't think of herself as Mormon, for she believes the religion to be sexist and old-minded. As Mormons, the stereotype would seem to suggest that they're nice, friendly, and loving; however, from what I have witnessed (when going to her house) and from what I have heard, her parents are truly unsafe to be around. Here's a list of evidence:
Code:
1) They hit their children as punishment. This is many times not considered abuse, though personally, I
consider it as such.
2) They cover their children's mouths to cover their screams. I saw this first hand, though mildly when my
girlfriend's little sister was screaming about wanting to season the pasta they were making at that
moment, and her dad came up behind her and told her "Shhh, hush" while covering her mouth and nose
with his hand. At worst, after her mom hit her
with a wooden spoon for a misunderstanding (so she did nothing wrong), and she began saying how upset
she was, my girlfriend was restrained by her father, mouth covered. She responded by hitting her dad by
accident, trying to get away from him, yelling "don't touch me, don't touch me!" to which he said "I can
touch you whenever I wanna", and then he made her sit outside for two hours as punishment for hitting
him.
3) They make them sleep on the couch or even threaten to make them sleep outside
as punishment, and as I've already
said, she's being threatened with losing her furniture,
which I wouldn't put past them since they're already moving into a new house in a few months (maybe
instead of selling it, they'd just move it to the new house and leave her furniture-less for those months)
4) They will physically drag my girlfriend to church and other Mormon activities, even though she has told
them she doesn't believe the same things multiple times. When she does resist, she gets in big trouble, loses
privileges, and finally, gets verbally abused and literally dragged by the wrist.
5) The father is always incredibly busy in his office (one time my gf got trapped in their chicken coop and
yelled for an hour and 30 minutes for help, got no reaction because only her father was home in his office,
and ultimitely
had to break the door to get out, to which her father yelled at her for doing. What was she going to do, sit
there until her mother got home???) , the mother is constantly doing her own thing outside the house, the
bigger brother has terrible anger issues, and they have three little kids running around everywhere with little
to no supervision.
6) They have no respect for their children, mostly my girlfriend, who they treat like a housemaid (she does all
the laundry, watches over the kids, etc.), downgrade her/put her down (literally today her mother told her she
would end up working at McDonald's), and have no respect for what she has to say (every time she speaks
up, she gets hit, or punished in some demeaning way). Furthermore, they leave her no privacy. They read
through her texts every night, and recently they took her phone away completely (forever, it seems) just
because she was using it in her room with the door closed. (It's actually been really difficult to keep in touch
this last week because she's been sleeping on the couch with no phone, so we can't even skype at night.)She cries all the time, and she's miserable. She has a history of severe-ass depression (and I mean that BAD shit, like, she felt NUMB.) and I worry every day that one day it'll come back for good. She's felt numb every now and then recently. Her parents are killing her, mentally, and without any way to really contact her other than driving to her house, I can't really be there to support her as much as I'd like to. She's said multiple times that she wishes she could leave that hellhole, but if she did, she'd desperately miss her baby brother, the person she loves most in the world. Additionally, she recently told me that her parents may make her share a room with her 16 year-old brother in the new house.
Anyways, what are your opinions? Is this child abuse? Could I help her? Get her out of there, if she truly wanted to?
Sincerely,
Me.