My fiances 5F little one will not drop the binky habit...like would have it in her mouth ALL DAY if she could. I've never seen this and her mom/grandma continues to pack one for her when she sleeps over like I feel like a monster telling her no but it enrages me. We don't want to traumatize her by taking it but like at what point do you draw the line?? If she forgets it here I throw it away but they keep buying her more. They say they dont stop her because they don't want to "deal with her screaming". What do?
@dexter234 Ooof they are going to be really upset when she gets made fun of in Kindergarten and 1st grade. Also they are going to shell out so much money for orthodontia. What does the dentist say?
@dexter234 When she comes home crying from elementary school that will fix it since her parents can't be bothered with temporary inconvenience... I don't think kindergarteners are allowed to have pacifiers at school.
@dexter234 So she can cope 6 hours a day at school without it? She doesn't need it
@mcjudge She doesn't need it at all. And I have no issue with her screaming hell, I'll stay up all night with her for a few days if I have to- she'll get over it eventually. But it's like....that's what I would do. Idk if it's fucked for me to do it to someone else's kid. Like if its her safety thing who am I to take it?
@dexter234 Yeah but plenty of kids have had pacifiers as safety things they don't still at 5... Are her parents open to taking her to a therapist if she really has this much anxiety?
@dexter234 Can you have a rule at your house about pacifiers and slowly wean her... That's allowed at mom/ grandmas
@dexter234 My daughter used one til 4ish, her palate was different/smaller and dentist realized the paci was helping her keep her mouth closed at night/helped her w apnea. We ended up getting a tongue tie release and that helped. Just saying there may be physical unseen reasons she wants the paci so much, we thought it was a spectrum need but turned out it was more. I used a paci until I was 5, many cultures do…kiddos teeth are fine.
edgeofglory
New member
@dexter234 5 with a binky is INSANE!! Both my kids stopped having them at 2 and started only having them to sleep by like 1-1.5.
She is going to ruin that poor girls teeth.
She is going to ruin that poor girls teeth.
mr_unemployed
New member
@dexter234 Our dentist said to drop it by 2! As long as your fiance is on board you can at least make a rule no pacifiers at your house. You can’t control what mom does but I think you’re ok setting your own house rules. Bribes work really well - turn in the binky and you get to pick out an awesome toy, or pick a bag of hard candy.
@mr_unemployed I hated the idea of being the 'bad guy' but if it means her health I'm just gonna have to start doing it
sunflower063
New member
@dexter234 As someone who works in dentistry her teeth are not perfect and it’s absolutely possible she also has airway issues.
@sunflower063 That's interesting, because she gets sick a LOT, specifically with upper respiratory issues
bornagainsteve1
New member
@dexter234 While I agree with your position on pacifiers, I think you need to be careful. You're not her biological parent and you risk creating conflict and resentment long-term between yourself and your partner if you're pushing your ideas here. You also risk getting cast as the evil stepmother. Again, I agree with you but she's not your responsibility.
I would ask your fiance what his position is, and if he also objects to the Binky, come up with a plan from you BOTH, where you can say daddy and I say no binkys for big girls or something.
I would ask your fiance what his position is, and if he also objects to the Binky, come up with a plan from you BOTH, where you can say daddy and I say no binkys for big girls or something.
@dexter234 I honestly think this should be a red flag for you. Sounds like you have very different parenting styles. I see kids every day coming from homes that have parents who aren't willing to say no or deal with it. They are real 
s.
s.@willowyse So me being bothered by this isn't making me the "evil stepmom?" Lmao I feel awful that I am like THE ONLY person who cares about stopping this. I feel like it will hurt her both physically and mentally and that's the exact problem- they can't say no. But at what point are you hurting your child by not telling them no??? Like I said- I'm struggling with it because if I do it I feel like that could be traumatizing and I'm not into making passive aggressive comments to a 5 year old like they are.
@dexter234 I can't give you advice on the stepmom part because I have no experience with that. It sounds like a tough spot. I took my kids' pacifiers away when they could walk. I think it looks ridiculous but to each their own. 5 is crazy to still be doing that. I've seen kids that age still breastfeeding and taking a break at a soccer game to do so. What is happening to those world. SMH.