42 and suddenly concerned that I fucked up

lilymae

New member
I (42F) have a 7 year old and a 5 year old. My husband (46M) and I don’t have sex very often - we’re both just exhausted 99% of the time and our life circumstances are a bit challenging (another story for another day). When we do, it’s good and we always say ‘we should do this more often’ but then we just don’t. Husband is waiting on a consult for a vasectomy. As much as I’m sad about no more babies, I know we can’t handle the chaos of another, especially at our age. Anyway that’s just context.

In the last couple of years it’s been super obvious when I’m ovulating because for a day or 2 I suddenly have ridiculously horny thoughts about all attractive men 😂 usually in the middle of the day when I’m working and can’t jump my husband.. and by evening it has usually waned as my exhaustion sets in. And whenever this happens, I check my period app and say “oh look, cycle day 16 or 17. How predictable of me.” And then get on with my day.

Right after my last period, like cycle day 7/8, I had some random increased libido. My husband and I ended up having sex on CD8. We took no precautions, because we had trouble getting pregnant with 1 and 2 even making a concerted effort with ov tests etc and coming right off my period it didn’t seem even remotely risky. I basically forgot about it by a couple days later, that’s how not-concerned I was.

Fast forward to today. I was working, and thinking, huh, I haven’t had my (not at all) rando horny days yet, that must be coming up. Check my period app. Cycle day 23, oh that’s weird it should have been like a week ago.

And then suddenly I am googling early ovulation, and seeing that in your early 40s early ovulation is more likely to happen.

Going by my normal cycle length, my period isn’t due for another 6ish days, but if I ovulated on CD 8, or even 9, I’m due now or maybe even already late.

I should probably take a test, but I also don’t want to make myself even more neurotic. Because I will be that person taking a test twice a day until my period shows or a second line does. So instead I’m posting here so someone can tell me that I’m being ridiculously paranoid and it’s fine, or tell me that their sister’s friend’s hairdresser had this happen and ended up pregnant so I can start legitimately panicking because we don’t live in a state where termination is no longer safe and obtainable.

Thanks y’all.
 
@lilymae It is possible - I'd normally say extremely unlikely but at your age ovulation timing can go a bit more irregular. You can't be sure when you actually ovulated unless you're taking your BBT every day. CD8 is very early but definitely can happen, especially during hormonal changes.

The symptoms you normally get around ovulation will also be hormone-driven, so it would also be possible that you randomly got the symptoms earlier than normal this cycle without affecting actual ovulation. You may have not even ovulated at all this cycle. It's all just guesswork though.

Pregnancy tests are mostly accurate 14 days after sex and definitive after 21 days. A test taken tomorrow with your first morning urine will be accurate, and it should be a clear result not a squinter.

If I were you I'd start a urine hold now for 3-4 hours and get a first response line test as I'd be too impatient to wait until tomorrow. You'd be able to trust that 100%.

Particularly if you'd be wanting an abortion it's better to know earlier. It's still much more likely that you're not but I wouldn't delay testing.
 
@garryowen Thank you for your thoughtful response - I’m going to try to get a test today. I don’t want to freak my husband out unless there’s something to freak out about, so I’m opting for stealth.
 
@garryowen My period came today - very short cycle for me! Looks like I was right to be a little concerned because it’s very possible that I was approaching ovulation when that slip-up of unprotection happened. We won’t make that mistake again - lesson learned. Thanks again for your thoughtful words.
 
@subparmariobro For sure - I have always just used them as a guide, more to know when to expect my period and to track symptoms - and I’ve been generally pretty regular. Even if everything turns out fine, I think I’ll have learned a valuable lesson. Thanks for your response.
 
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