3 next month…

[wolflink7544]

My daughter has been a pain at bedtime lately. Keeps stalling bedtime with im hungrys, i need to poo, lay with me a little bit, one more books, one more songs and constantly calls me back in for a hug and a kiss. Bedtime is at 8pm, and I have tried to do it earlier to give her plenty of time.

She has been in a screaming phase and that does not seem to end. We have tried many different methods to be as gentle as possible but I have reached my limit. She has been screaming for me in the middle of the night and only wanting a hug, which I am happy to give but when the screaming isnt cause she’s scared but that she woke up and is bored or wants attention, z m i finally just let her cry it out right, and she on for a good 20 minutes with high pitched screams and cries. I feel horrible as I have always tried to be there for get with open arms and encouraged her to use her words. I feel like a huge hypocrite…

Some background: she was sleep trained by 3 months and have always been a good napper and sleeper for the most part. She loves daycare and her baby brother is almost 6 months. I realize the new sibling is a huge change but she honestly loves him so much, and i think sometimes she is confused when she feels jealousy.

Now i dont even know where I was going with this… Just.. defeated and tired.

 

[kitteh]

@wolflink7544 My daughter started doing this around the same time.. and I am still working at it. She is almost 3.5

I realize... she just doesn't want me to go. It's not about a book, toy or snack or whatever. It's about me

The one thing that really seems to help... is I give her a long long deep hug. And too many kisses. Unmistakably warm. And at some point she's like "okay. Love you mommy. Goodnight". But she needs to feel secure in that way before I leave.

Eta... and unfortunately... if she catches wind I'm trying to get out of there... the worse it is.

Oh and mine also has a younger sibling (2 years old)

 

[wolflink7544]

@kitteh i do exactly that and she ends it off the same way. but lately she would keep calling me back for another hug and kiss and that’s fine, but it got to the point where she was just playing me.. like a game for her. i was patient and she really took advantage of it as much as i dont want to believe it

 

[kitteh]

@wolflink7544 Is she napping during the day? I just ask bc mine naps at daycare and not weekends. I think there is a heavy correlation with napping and night time shenanigans

 

[wolflink7544]

@kitteh yes, we have her napped at 1hr. she did 45 mins today. she naps at home on weekends

 

[aforgivenman]

@wolflink7544 Mine is younger (2y3mo) and still in a crib, but the idea might work for you given need for closeness.

After books with the lights off, I rock her in my arms and sing one last song. At the end of the song is one big breath in, and slowly out…she started doing the breath with me of her own accord. Then I whisper some toddler affirmation- like “you make mama & Baba so happy” or “today I was proud of you for being brave at the doctor”. And she goes peacefully into the crib.

 

[wolflink7544]

@aforgivenman that sounds like a good idea! ill try. she goes into crib happily and all, even says bye bye but then calls me back