Does anyone else want more than 3 kids but won’t be trying until their 30s? We’re also hoping to have all of our kids before 40 if possible . 4 kids in 8-10 years is definitely possible, but I’m just worried about the chance of having fertility issues which would delay things. I have no concern for fertility issues right now though, so I try not to worry about something that’s out of my hands. I’m also going to be finishing grad school into my 30s, so that’s something we have to take into account.
We’re 25 right now, so we have a while to plan and really think about it; so I try not to focus too much on it right now, but it’s hard not to . I also know we might get to 2 or 3 kids and not want anymore, so it will definitely be a 1 at a time process.
@veganhippie I guess it depends WHEN in your 30s you plan to start and how important a large family is to you. If you’re planning to try right at 30 then you’ll probably have time to have all the kids you want. If you start around 33-34 you’re pushing it a little, especially if it takes a while to conceive.
We also want 3+ kids, not sure how many but anywhere from 3-6. I had my first at 25 and then when she turned 1 we started trying again; she’ll be born a week or two before I turn 28. It’s nice to not feel rushed I guess. If I were you I’d see if there’s a way you can rearrange things to start around age 28-30 to give yourself plenty of time!
@veganhippie That sounds like a good plan! A lot can change in the next few years so hopefully everything aligns so that you can start earlier!
Also it wasn’t really clear from the timeline I gave but it took 6 cycles to conceive my second kid! Totally normal in terms of fertility but something like that could be extra frustrating if you’re feeling like you’re running out of time or pushing back your timeline for future kid(s). Just another reason why it’s nice to give yourself extra time!
(Also just realized I made a typo and I’m due right before I turn 28 - not 27! )
@greenrock Yeah, I know it can take up to a year, but it’ll be hard to not want it to happen quickly, especially since we want a lot of kids. Congrats on your baby!
@veganhippie I don't think the age thing is a big deal as far as fertility issues.
Sorry to be a bit of a downer, but I'd worry more about the impact that 3-4 kids back to back would have on your physical and mental health, especially while still early in your career. Research and doctors recommend 12-18+ months between pregnancies to prevent complications and issues. I personally think that 4 pregnancies and births in 8 (or even 10) years sounds really, really difficult. Obviously there's also the financial implications of that many children that close together as well. In my area, that'd be 25k a year for a single infant and 60k a year in certain years depending on how the kids are spaced, and an average of paying $36k a year for childcare over 10 years. A lot of people simply don't have that budgeted.
@cisty If you got pregnant at 30 you can have 4 kids between 30 and 40 and space your pregnancies a little over 2 years apart.
I'm not encouraging anyone to do this, but if people are reading and, like me, plan to start after 30 and want a bigger family, please don't get discouraged! You can still have a big family, space pregnancies well within recommendations, and be done around 40.
But yeah, plan ahead for how expensive it will be if you don't live in a country that helps much with childcare.
@magembe Yeah I'd think that the start time is less important if the end time is less important. Like if 40 is okay to be 42, you'll probably be a lot better off. If you're strict about not starting until 32 and being finished at 40, that's going to put a lot of pressure on the timeline being exactly as you want.
cw: sub grad — I know a lot of people plan 2 year age gaps or less but being pregnant or postpartum or nursing or in the bad sleep phase for 10 years straight sounds really, really difficult to me lol. I'm 7 months postpartum and just now feeling like I'm getting back to normal despite a pretty easy pregnancy and baby and by normal, I mean I'm still constantly sick all the time. Everyone's different of course but 10 years is a.... long time.
But yeah, plenty of people do it!! I think it just takes a certain amount of eyes wide open going into it. It also requires finances, especially if you hope to pay for your kids' college like we do.
@cisty You can have a 3 year age gap with four kids in 10 years.
10 years is definitely a long time to be in baby mode! I am 1 of 5 and I don't know how my parents did it (we all went to college and graduated with no debt) but I'm hoping I can at least do 3. I loved being part of a big family. We shall see if I'm actually up for it.
@magembe Yeah you're right assuming everything goes well it does allow for 3 year age gap! I'm sleep deprived and math is fuzzy haha. Still potentially 8/10 years spend being pregnant or postpartum or nursing or sleep deprived or whatever. I'm hoping college becomes free for our kids generation but we'll see. We're planning like it won't. If it continues to get more expensive, it'll be an even bigger reason to pay for it so they don't end up in debt forever in order to get an education.
@veganhippie Nothing quite like it. Yes, it can be very expensive, but part of the reason I waited as long as I did was so I could maximize my chances of being able to afford a third or possibly fourth!
@magembe Yes waiting till our 30s definitely helps with expenses, but we have really great careers/salaries, so I’m not too worried about expenses. Good luck to you guys!
@cisty Yes we are definitely taking into account our physical and mental health. I should still be shoe to do 12-18+ pregnancies, but I understand that I might change my mind once I actually go through a pregnancy lol. Raising a child for the first year might or might not change our perspective too, which is why I said it will be a 1 at a time process. We’ll probably reevaluate after each child. We are definitely considering how it would impact our careers, so plans might change depending on how that goes. Financially it shouldn’t be a problem, we both have really great jobs/salaries; plus we live in a state that has a low cost of living, but that might change. Although if that changes, our salaries would probably also go up. Thanks for your comment!
@kimmy Same, even with singletons! My firstborn will be exactly 3 when my third baby is born. I started in my late 20s, but 30s. But expected cycles-to-conception doesn’t change between late 20s and early 30s.
@veganhippie My mum had 3 children in her 30s and all before 40. Actually she was done at 35-36. Anecdotal I know but it did happen. I was the last baby, I was born when my mum was around 35/36
. 4 kids in 8-10 years is definitely possible, but I’m just worried about the chance of having fertility issues which would delay things. I have no concern for fertility issues right now though, so I try not to worry about something that’s out of my hands. I’m also going to be finishing grad school into my 30s, so that’s something we have to take into account. 
. I also know we might get to 2 or 3 kids and not want anymore, so it will definitely be a 1 at a time process.