18(M) wondering how to maximize quality time with son and BM 18(F) (6 months pregnant)

[vivienh]

Like the title suggest my ex and I are expecting in early June. I want to know what kind of activities I can do with my BM and son to strengthen both connections. I’m wondering about this early because I have 3 more years of college to go and I’m away. I know the first 2 years are the most crucial and I’ll be gone for months at a time leaving her(who’s taking a gap year before applying to college in fall 2025) to take care of the baby alone with her parents and minor help from mine who are back home. I know he’ll always know who daddy is but I want him to be able to connect with me on a level that makes him feel safe and loved. I didn’t have this connection growing up and I don’t know what to do. Any advice and tips help.

 

[debbiezaina]

@vivienh You can transfer colleges or take a gap year yourself? I took 3 years off in college for unrelated seasons and I'm so glad I did, but your college may not let you return so look into that.

 

[vivienh]

@debbiezaina I can transfer but I am not willing to take a gap as I’m almost done with my first year already. I would transfer closer to home (currently 1:30 drive) but my life long dream has been to go to college and be away

 

[debbiezaina]

@vivienh

my life long dream has been to go to college and be away

I get it, but you have a kid now. Your dream doesn't need to take a back seat, but it does need to be adjustable. When you're old and looking back, it'll be no contest between the typical college experience and having that precious time with your first born. You can make it work if you're away too, though, so don't get the wrong idea. But the fact the two of you aren't together will make that so much more difficult.