Idk if there’s much of a point to this post-There’s so much on my mind right now and I’m just kind of using reddit like a diary to process my emotions. Here’s one of them.
It’s a long story but on Friday afternoon we found out my 6 month old daughter’s femur is broken. It likely happened on Monday on her first full time day with our nanny share. We still don’t know what happened but needless to say we will no longer be employing that nanny. It took awhile to figure out what happened because there was a lot of other stuff going on with her health-wise: teething, constipation, 6mo vaccines plus flu and covid. We’d been in contact with our pediatrician several times that week and those were her explanations as well. But I still felt like something more was wrong.
On Friday I made her another appointment to see the pediatrician because she wasn’t moving her leg and it was just really weird. I went in thinking I was going to be told it was just prolonged vaccine reaction or something. The appointment was at 1 and I hadn’t eaten lunch. I expected to be back home within an hour. I didn’t have any baby supplies except our “light” diaper bag (the one I bring for short trips that just has a few diapers, wipes, and a changing pad), our stroller, and Sophie the giraffe.
Our pediatrician decided to order X-rays out of an abundance of caution so from her office I went directly to another location where x-rays were taken. We were there for a couple hours. Then I got a call from her telling me the scans revealed a broken femur and I needed to go directly to the pediatric emergency room.
What followed was an absolute nightmare. Hours of waiting after triage, then we were given a bed but it was in a hallway, right next to a busy intersection. It was noisy, the lights were so bright, we had no privacy, and she was so poked and prodded. The type of injury she has can only be caused by a high impact event or deliberate harm, so it was a mandatory report to our states CPS. So we also had to endure tons of questions from social workers and she had to get full body X-rays to check for other injuries. Not complaining because I know it was necessary, but it was really awful.
But throughout this whole ordeal I never had to worry about the baby going hungry. I never struggled to comfort her. She was able to sleep soundly despite the bright lights and noises and chaos. Because I was there with my boobs. I just curled up around her on the hospital bed all night, constantly nursing. My back is killing me, my nipples are raw, but I’m so grateful. We were totally unprepared for this situation. We didn’t have adult food, no phone chargers, no changes of clothes, no sleep sack, nothing. But I’m never apart from the ultimate baby comfort tool, because they are part of my body. I don’t know how we would have survived it otherwise.
I’ve never been a gung ho breastfeeding advocate. I wanted to try but wasn’t married to the idea. We combo fed at the beginning and still occasionally give her some formula. I don’t think any decision a parent makes about how to feed their baby is wrong, as long as it works for them and the baby is fed and cared for. But breastfeeding saved us that night. And I’m just so grateful for that.
It’s a long story but on Friday afternoon we found out my 6 month old daughter’s femur is broken. It likely happened on Monday on her first full time day with our nanny share. We still don’t know what happened but needless to say we will no longer be employing that nanny. It took awhile to figure out what happened because there was a lot of other stuff going on with her health-wise: teething, constipation, 6mo vaccines plus flu and covid. We’d been in contact with our pediatrician several times that week and those were her explanations as well. But I still felt like something more was wrong.
On Friday I made her another appointment to see the pediatrician because she wasn’t moving her leg and it was just really weird. I went in thinking I was going to be told it was just prolonged vaccine reaction or something. The appointment was at 1 and I hadn’t eaten lunch. I expected to be back home within an hour. I didn’t have any baby supplies except our “light” diaper bag (the one I bring for short trips that just has a few diapers, wipes, and a changing pad), our stroller, and Sophie the giraffe.
Our pediatrician decided to order X-rays out of an abundance of caution so from her office I went directly to another location where x-rays were taken. We were there for a couple hours. Then I got a call from her telling me the scans revealed a broken femur and I needed to go directly to the pediatric emergency room.
What followed was an absolute nightmare. Hours of waiting after triage, then we were given a bed but it was in a hallway, right next to a busy intersection. It was noisy, the lights were so bright, we had no privacy, and she was so poked and prodded. The type of injury she has can only be caused by a high impact event or deliberate harm, so it was a mandatory report to our states CPS. So we also had to endure tons of questions from social workers and she had to get full body X-rays to check for other injuries. Not complaining because I know it was necessary, but it was really awful.
But throughout this whole ordeal I never had to worry about the baby going hungry. I never struggled to comfort her. She was able to sleep soundly despite the bright lights and noises and chaos. Because I was there with my boobs. I just curled up around her on the hospital bed all night, constantly nursing. My back is killing me, my nipples are raw, but I’m so grateful. We were totally unprepared for this situation. We didn’t have adult food, no phone chargers, no changes of clothes, no sleep sack, nothing. But I’m never apart from the ultimate baby comfort tool, because they are part of my body. I don’t know how we would have survived it otherwise.
I’ve never been a gung ho breastfeeding advocate. I wanted to try but wasn’t married to the idea. We combo fed at the beginning and still occasionally give her some formula. I don’t think any decision a parent makes about how to feed their baby is wrong, as long as it works for them and the baby is fed and cared for. But breastfeeding saved us that night. And I’m just so grateful for that.