Thought maybe I could get some help dealing with a dysfunctional locker room for my daughter's hockey team. Two girls have been fighting for a couple weeks now. When I (coach) first noticed, I pulled one aside and asked what was happening because she was visibly upset. She said girl B was bossing her around and treating her like she was dumb. So, I brought girl B over and explained what she was doing was having this impact in girl A and asked if she could think of better ways to offer advice (talking about gameplay). She offered some ideas on changing how she communicates. I then suggested she apologize, which she did. Girl A refused her apology and seemed resolute in staying upset. I wrote it off and said ok, get in your own headspace and we'll move on, thinking time would settle the matter.
Fast forward to today, a parent calls because their kid Girl C is now uncomfortable in the locker room because A and B are fighting. So I ask my own daughter, what's happening in the locker room. She says Girl A is being rude to everyone and fighting with B. Allegedly she called one girl a pathetic crybaby, another an idiot, and told B she doesn't give a damn what she says. So, now I'm talking to the other coaches, one of whom is girl A's parent. Girl A says B is still bossing her around. Parent says she's extra sensitive because older sibling does the same thing to her. Furthermore, A and B always text each other, so it doesn't make sense.
I'm at a loss for how to deal with this in a compassionate way. I thought I did well 2 weeks ago, but maybe I made it worse? I would really appreciate some insight on how to approach this and get our team to be a team again.
Thanks in advance.
Fast forward to today, a parent calls because their kid Girl C is now uncomfortable in the locker room because A and B are fighting. So I ask my own daughter, what's happening in the locker room. She says Girl A is being rude to everyone and fighting with B. Allegedly she called one girl a pathetic crybaby, another an idiot, and told B she doesn't give a damn what she says. So, now I'm talking to the other coaches, one of whom is girl A's parent. Girl A says B is still bossing her around. Parent says she's extra sensitive because older sibling does the same thing to her. Furthermore, A and B always text each other, so it doesn't make sense.
I'm at a loss for how to deal with this in a compassionate way. I thought I did well 2 weeks ago, but maybe I made it worse? I would really appreciate some insight on how to approach this and get our team to be a team again.
Thanks in advance.