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@katrina2017 Now there's a solution, braces! haha. I don't think she would ever pull back on the junk.

@marthasimons Yeah, I basically told her she's welcome to get a job and buy all the processed crap she can afford. I was so mad at the time. I think this is a pretty moderate approach and doesn't encourage 'food wars.' I don't know how the hell we ended up here. It's definitely not my style...

@katrina2017 That's what I told her in not very nice terms. Not my finest moment, but the sense of entitlement/lack of help around the house is really getting to me!

@katrina2017 I think this is a reasonable approach, and basically what I have been doing. She made a cake this week. Trying to get her to cook with me on Saturdays, but schedules are often in conflict. She's 19 and in college!

@emmer123 Instacart is an interesting thought! We don't have a subscription to any of the like, but given how busy we are, it might be a good solution. Right! Like, why should I negotiate on this? I think what many have suggested here is not to negotiate, but instead, just give her a number of...

@admiral_kang Exactly! I guess this is where you just hold the line and wait for it to sink in... maybe...eventually. ;)

@admiral_kang She's definitely wanting autonomy but without the responsibility. This is where I think being in charge of cooking at least 1 night / week is going to be helpful, if we can make it happen. Otherwise, may be time for her to move into the dorms, also expensive, but may be a good...

@admiral_kang I think this is hitting on part of the issue. She's 19 and neither drives nor works. She's in college and living at home. She needs wings! But she hasn't been super motivated to get it done; there are other issues (anxiety/depression/adhd). On a positive note, she's excelling in...

@sjasti Have some miller high life, honey! Yeah, I'm sure it's a totally skewed narrative the therapist hears, but they should also recognize that.

@goozlo Yeah, that's what it boils down to. Pick a limit and stick to it. I told her when she gets a job she can buy all the junk her heart desires. ;) Just annoyed at the therapist for encouraging negotiations on something I have already been reasonable about. Like, it's a limit, and she's...

@lonely Yeah, she earns an allowance. I have explained it to her numerous times. I don't really see what talking it out is going to get us. A limit is a limit, and she needs to recognize that. I'm going to tell her pick 2 junk items.

@charlieparker I'm going to tell her pick 2. I do not want to get into negotiations. She's in college! haha. and living at home. She's doing great, but really needs to grow out of this. We're considering student housing.

@marjihealing I've given a ton of leeway on the junk, but that doesn't mean we can afford to buy everything on her very long list! I prioritize the healthy stuff she requests and always still buy some of the junk in addition. Thanks for the commiseration.

@michaelo Yeah we were buying the acai, too. haha. This too shall pass has been on my mind a lot. :)

@michaelo Yeah, our grocery budget is 1400/mo for 5 people. I feel like it is a lot, and we are trying to be more moderate. Part of the issue is she will eat mostly junk if she has the choice. That gets expensive!

@4beasts Totally! That degree doesn't mean much if you spend all your money. I like the idea of having her check the ads. That builds a good habit and is something I have always had to do.

@tours I think the acceptance part is where we are lacking.

@garberse This is basically how it is for us. I have told her numerous times anything she puts on that list is basically a 'wish list' and not guaranteed to be purchased. I think limiting by number of items might be a better approach for her.

@orion3003 Yeah, the brie I bought weeks ago is still sitting in our fridge. She didn't like the flavor of that brand. Certainly going over the list would give her an idea of what groceries cost, but I'm not willing to negotiate on every item. Pick 1-2 is a good approach.

@godfollowerchristlover That's a great line for when things devolve into an argument.