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    Just want help in making a decision about OAD

    @srracing Just wanted to add that for fence-sitters that would only have another with a large age gap, I think it's fine! I don't intend to have another, but will say that my only close sibling relationship (out of my three siblings) is my brother who is 11 years younger than me. We were ever...
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    No free time, no social life. No more. Wife disagrees

    @sjblum I've noticed major relationship declines in many of my friends' marriages after the second child, some of which did not durvive in the end, and having a second was the beginning of the end for my brother's marriage (although in his case, his wife had "accidentally" missed some bc pills...
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    Just want help in making a decision about OAD

    @chadgervais You are not cheating your husband - you had an "ideal" that changed after you experienced child-birth and began the journey of raising your son. NOBODY really understands how difficult it is UNTIL they experience it for themselves. Your husband may have wished for a sibling, but he...
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    Guilty for thinking this way?

    @altrechts Seriously...the friend is judgemental, rude and projecting her fears onto OP. So sick of the overly-dramatic "alone in the world" line. As if though your child will forever be a helpless infant with zero connections to anyone else in the outside world. That is a very pessimistic...
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    OAD decision timeline

    @soosh8005 This is something my husband and I have talked about - he is turning 40 this year and I will be 38 (we were 34 and 36 when our daughter was born). He absolutely does not want to he nearing retirement while a hypothetical younger child is still in high school. Some older parents will...
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    6w pregnant with our first and only, the first challenge to OAD popped up and was slammed down

    @farmerdan My comment will seem a little unusual, but my primary fixation during my bout with severe PPA/PPOCD was SIDS or a severe illness affecting my young infant that would lead to death. I know that statistically the first year is a period of vulnerability and that kept my brain in high...
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    Who here has a mediocre relationship with their sibling(s)?

    @patriciairlu Similarly, any "pain" from wishing to have a sibling as an only child likely pales in comparison to the pain of having a sibling who either abuses you or treats you like you don't exist (unless they need something!). I will feel bad if my only ends up resenting her lack of...
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    Who here has a mediocre relationship with their sibling(s)?

    @clone_25 I've touched on this before, but I think people assume that sibling problems or lack of closeness is due to some shortcoming on the parents' part. I'm glad you mentioned that you both are close to your parents and that your parents are good people, yet the sibling relationship isn't...
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    No free time, no social life. No more. Wife disagrees

    @walterm%C3%BCller She wouldn't be the first - it's more common for a woman to "forget" to take the pill OR convince her partner she isn't ovulating and thus it's "safe" to skip a condom entirely, but I don't doubt some women will sabotage the condoms themselves. Again, l would be very careful...
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    No free time, no social life. No more. Wife disagrees

    @luminous_scribe Yeah, this would annoy the Hell out of me, and the constant badgering would absolutely cause fights after awhile. It must be exhausting to have so many conversations involving the same damn issue! All I can say is this: BE VERY CAREFUL ABOUT BIRTH CONTROL!! The number of people...
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    Who here has a mediocre relationship with their sibling(s)?

    @uluvsamm My older brother is the same - resented me from a very early age and the resentment turned into physical and mental abuse. He destroyed my self-esteem and often made me afraid to live in my own home. It only stopped when I went to live full-time with our father, while he remained...
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    Finally got the “when are you giving him a friend” from mom

    @jessieward ABSOLUTELY - I feel this so much! So many Boomer grandparents want the grandkids so they have pics to slap up on Facebook, but otherwise, help, or even visits, are few and far between. My father and step-mother live only 15 minutes away, and I basically had to FIGHT with my father to...
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    Finally got the “when are you giving him a friend” from mom

    @mikemu777 Alternatively, I feel like it's kind of sad to think a sibling should be responsible for fulfilling an existing child's social and friendship needs (and this is assuming the kids even get along). Is your child really incapable of having social opportunities beyond those with their...
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