Would you have another one or count your blessings?

[whyneedaname]

Hi everyone,

I'm struggling with having to make a decision,,,

I've had 2 prior C-Sections and chose to have a repeat c section over a vbac

I regret it now since I didn't realize it could increase the risk of placenta accreta

Not only do I have uterine surgeries as a risk factor but I need to do IVF due to stage IV endometriosis. My family does not feel complete with just 2 kids. I definitely want 3 or more but the fact I might die on the operating table is making me reconsider. Also, I hate myself for not choosing that VBAC and not sure how to deal with the guilt and regret... anyone else been through this?

 

[nanipardhu]

@whyneedaname I’m pregnant with my 2nd and also considering a 2nd csection. It was sooooo easy and smooth the first time (planned for low lying placenta). I think I’m stopping at 2 kids but I’m not completely sure yet. I do worry about this. But I came here to say- don’t beat yourself up bc you could have attempted a VBAC and ended up having an emergency C-section anyway.

 

[whyneedaname]

@nanipardhu Did you have placenta previa?

 

[whyneedaname]

@nanipardhu Oh, I see. Did your OB mention risks of placenta previa and placenta acceta whcih goes up after every C Section?

 

[nanipardhu]

@whyneedaname I don’t remember, I don’t think so? I think I knew there would be a higher risk of complications after every one but I didn’t know what exactly

 

[seocompanysydney]

@whyneedaname I’ll add my 2 cents since you haven’t received a lot of replies. I‘m a bit surprised that you’re so worried about death because I haven’t heard that the risk of death for 2 vs. 3 c-sections really increases that significantly. I thought 4+ was when the risk started increasing more significantly? But please feel free to share if you’ve seen otherwise.

I asked my doctor about whether I could have a third pregnancy/c-section (because I was concerned he might warn me about the risks) but he had no concerns at all. Have you had a conversation with your doctor about your real risk level, especially risk level of death, since this seems to be your primary concern? Has he/she recommended against further pregnancies?

Have you thought about why you feel so much regret? Is it something a doctor or someone else said to you? Something you saw on Google? Maybe talking to your doctor and then a therapist (if still unsure) might help you come to a decision?

 

[whyneedaname]

@seocompanysydney Yes, because the C-Section was not medically necessary.

 

[seocompanysydney]

@whyneedaname Yes, but just because it wasn’t medically necessary doesn’t mean you didn’t have important and valid reasons for wanting a c-section. My second c-section was not medically necessary, and I want a third, but I don’t feel regret at all. However, I have heard that most professionals suggest that best practice is to only do 3 c-sections, so I can understand why you would be upset if you didn’t know that and wanted to have 4 or more children.

I googled because I was curious, and a hospital worksheet that I found said that second c-section has a 15/1000 risk of accreta, and a third only goes up to a 20/1000 risk. The fourth goes up to 30/1000.

While that’s definitely something that is concerning to me, I wouldn’t beat myself up about it. You said above that you hate yourself, which is really strong language. I’d definitely try to give yourself more compassion.

However, since I don’t know how IVF or other personal factors play into this for you, I’d still suggest discussing your personal risk with your doctor for a third, or potentially more.

 

[mommygirl]

@whyneedaname First. How old are you?

 

[whyneedaname]

@mommygirl 33

 

[mommygirl]

@whyneedaname Honestly i wanted to know, cuz if you were older i would of said better not cuz of additional risk, but since you under 35, still young, if you want it, go for it! You good.

 

[faithcollect]

@whyneedaname Does your husband want another? Or is happy with two?

 

[whyneedaname]

@faithcollect He would like more as well

 

[faithcollect]

@whyneedaname Personally, I think the world would be a lot better if you were to stay in it. It's a lot easier on your husband and everyone, to be honest, if there are 2 adults raising 2 children rather than 1 adult raising 3 children. Your health and in this case, your life, should not be undervalued! Your children (and your husband) need you.

 

[whyneedaname]

@faithcollect Ya it just stings because nobody told me about accreta or I'd have had a vbac instead and this situation could've been avoided altogether

 

[faithcollect]

@whyneedaname The grief is real. Maybe see a therapist to talk things through?

 

[whyneedaname]

@faithcollect Yes, I am seeing a specialist who specializes in birth trauma. I am coming to the conclusion that I made my decision based on a lack of knowledge and therefore a lack of informed consent. But I deal with the guilt and regret of not having changed OBs earlier even though I felt something was off. I was afraid to be "that patient". The therapist referred to "fawning" and that I basically froze as a result of not feeling heard...it's a difficult process to go through.