Why should I even bother exercising and counting calories? (Breastfeeding, 3 months pp)

[rejisamuel]

I gained 50 lbs during pregnancy, lost maybe 15 lbs right after pregnancy, and then gained 5-7 lbs back in the 3 months of breastfeeding. So that brings my grand total of weight loss in pregnancy to.... ummm about 7-10 lbs depending on the day. Over 3 months. So for simplicity, I'm still holding onto 40 lbs of extra weight on my body. And its a brutal, brutal feeling.

I've lost weight a few times before. From my heaviest to my lightest was 80 lb weight loss. Intermittent fasting, caloric restriction, running fast, lifting heavy, 75 hard. I did a thing, and I had a result. I was so proud of my body pre-pregnancy because I put so much effort into being in the best shape of my life. I was strong, I was fast. I want to be that proud again

But that cause and effect doesn't seem to work for me in breastfeeding. In the past 3 months I've tried restricting calories to ~2000 (inconsistently, lets be honest, but rarely more than 2500 calories). I've tried intermittent fasting (its fine, doesnt seem to impact my supply). I started PT at 5 weeks, by 7/8 weeks I was lifting (with progressive increases-- now at 12 weeks I don't feel THAT far off from my strength pre pregnancy!). Around 10/11 weeks pp, cleared by my PT, I started couch to 5k (I've ran for years and I'm easing in). Oh, and I'm trying to get 5K+ steps a day.

And yet, the scale goes up. Bit by bit, until its 0.5 lbs heavier, 1 lb heavier, 2 lbs heavier....

Part of me is truly like, why the hell am I even doing this? I'm sitting here in my workout clothes, going to go into our basement gym to do full body, and I'm like why the hell am I bothering. The scale was the heaviest I've seen it today. I'm barely fitting in any of my clothes (and I've bought almost all new clothes post partum, so these clothes were bought in the last few months)

Why bother lifting? - I kind of understand this one. Strength and muscle are good.

But truly, WHY BOTHER with cardio? Why bother with running? Why bother with the peloton bike? Beyond getting basic steps in for some movement I dont even know. I feel like running with 40 lbs of extra weight on my frame is going to destroy my ankles, my knees. WHY BOTHER? It's a real question, i need a devil's advocate, im at a loss.

WHY BOTHER counting calories? The 500 calories of breastfeeding feels like bull. I count, and I gain anyways. Make it make sense!

I just don't think I'm going to be someone that loses weight until I wean. But I don't want to wean, because breastfeeding is one of my favorite things. I love being needed, I love the closeness with my baby, I love it. But yet its tethering me to this body, or at least thats how it feels.

But if I can use this time to gain a ton of strength so that I can cut and do the cardio in a few months- okay then. I'll do that. I just want a plan that makes sense. I can do things that make sense. But what i'm doign right now, it doesn't make sense.

 

[christian002]

@rejisamuel In my personal opinion, fitness is valuable even if it doesn’t lead the weight loss. I can see why running with extra weight would be a worry, but other forms of cardio have endless health benefits. And then, when you wean someday, you’ll have a baseline fitness that you can leverage. I just HAVE to imagine that if you’ve built strength and endurance during this time you’ll be glad to have it when running after a toddler, and it will be easier to lose the weight after weaning.

I’ve heard stories from SO many people that breastfeeding makes it impossible to lose weight or even that it causes gain. I completely understand how painful and demoralizing it is to feel like you aren’t at home in your skin and the idea of just accepting that it will be that way for a while is an almost intolerable feeling… but it’s so common and so normal. I’m sorry you’re going through this. I hope your hormones normalize soon!

 

[rejisamuel]

@christian002 I am all for functional fitness that makes life easier! That’s why strength training makes sense to me. And honestly mobility or yoga would make a lot of sense to me bc I am not feeling great playing on the floor, bathing baby tub side. Ow. Lots of pain.

Cardio makes sense the way you’ve framed it, chasing a toddler.

My vo2 max has gone down a lot during and after pregnancy (according to my Apple Watch) and that’s a huge bummer.

Maybe I just need to let go of running, I feel like I’m destroying my joints. It just sucks bc ALL i wanted to do in pregnancy was run and it didn’t feel good. Now postpartum, cleared to run by PT, feels like I have to give it up again. Maybe I’m just upset that this body is still keeping me from the activities that I WANT to do. I guess I’ve been doing all this work in order to run, and I can’t, so it feels like it’s all for nothing. Have to work on framing it differently.

 

[christian002]

@rejisamuel That’s completely valid. I also had to give up running pretty early in my pregnancy, and my overly-tight pelvic floor is keeping me from running postpartum. I’m really heartbroken about it and I’m still trying to troubleshoot ways to get back into it, but yeah… it sucks and there’s really no two ways around it.

I keep trying to frame it to myself that “this is a season.” I’ve got a really similar background to you actually— lost a bunch of weight, got really fit, was very proud of it, and now I’m feeling like I lost it all bc of pregnancy and nursing.

Some day, my kids will be big and I won’t be nursing any more and I’ll have more time and capacity to dedicate to fitness, and I’m sure I’ll be ecstatic but I’m sure I’ll also miss this special bond that nursing has given me. So I’m trying to appreciate this season for what it is, knowing that it will all change some day

 

[rejisamuel]

@christian002 i noticed you mention kids plural! did you have multiples, and did you give have time/capacity/luck to make the progress you wanted to see in between pregnancies? this is weighing on me too, tbh. the "why should i even bother" continues into "if i want to get pregnant again in 16-20 months, and im not making any progress month after month, then wtf am i doing going into the next pregnancy?" mindset.

 

[manoffiji]

@rejisamuel Gurl I feel you! I’m 5 months now and was super fit pre pregnancy. I stopped running at 3 months. I get that so much of this could be taken as “you’re right on the brink of change so keep going” but my joints and feet HURT I’ve never been this heavy and the extra weight on my joints is like ruining them?? My scale won’t budge either I’ve done everything increased protein did macros instead of calories - of course it worked and I started losing weight fast but without the extra calories my milk supply tanked. It came back as soon as I added the calories back.

I’m strength training and just started Pilates and diastasis recti core work. The only weight I lost was due to a stomach virus for a week. The weight is coming back after too, slowly, but coming back.

I feel so stuck. I’ve joined every group ever to see if I can drop lbs while breast feeding but legit NO one seems to have answers - increase protein and weight train - yeh ok I’m doing that and the scale won’t shift. I cut out all sugar - didn’t matter fruits and dates to keep up calories - cut out gluten - didn’t change

My 5 month old is a GIANT too so keeping up milk for him has been a struggle. He’s not fat just incredibly long and heavy! He’s in 9-12 month clothes because of length and is weighing in at 20lbs. Do I need strength training? Prob not because I wear him and carry him so it’s like a weighted vest but I was glad I did the strength training because he is so heavy

Someone told me about a group called milky fitness on fb. I was going to try a meal plan but I feel like it’s all the same stuff. I could not find women who could not lose weight while breast feeding who suddenly found an answer. I think there isn’t one. I think you find peace because for sure you can’t sad away the weight.

If ANYONE actually has an answer that would be great for all of us…..

 

[rejisamuel]

@manoffiji OMG… you are 2 months in my future and idk i feel solidarity but also doom haha. Its clear to me i need to change my mindset because if i keep making weight loss my goal it sounds like I’m just going to be disappointed over and over again. Its depressing. Your comment about “no one seems to have answers”— it’s so deeply upsetting. It’s like the postpartum woman is just out in the ocean drowning and everyone knows it but is like “meh, nothing we can do!” Come on, science. Try harder. I also joined milky fitness…

It’s just so interesting to me that you cant find a real success story to relate to. I believe in the concept of ‘expanders’ — searching for people who achieved something that you desperately want and learning from them. I think those people and stories are SO IMPORTANT in BELIEVING that something is possible for yourself. And the fact that you cant find them!!!I need to find them too! I just want to believe it’s possible, if not now then soon. Because right now it feels so impossible. I just want like a blueprint path to a better future, even if its not immediate. I can be patient, I just need to know it’s possible bc it feels so impossible

This week i went heavy on weights and stopped trying to eat 2000 calories and I’m up 2 lbs today than my normal baseline. I just don’t want my milk supply to tank. I’m about to start pumping more (as opposed to nursing as I’m now back to work) and i feel like I’m going to really be confronted with the ounces I’m getting, and that has to be my priority.

 

[manoffiji]

@rejisamuel Pumping makes you feel the oz

Idk what type of pump you use but I was mostly a just enough er and pumping made me feel inadequate until I learned to pump.

Replace those flanges regularly, power pumping is the only way to increase supply - if you don’t feel empty and have a spectra - massage mode 70 until milk shows up and then work your way up to 54 at 9 speed for 20 mins usually does the trick for me - another mom said that

Honestly the core work makes you feel like you’re not doing anything but man I have seen the decrease in my belly shape even with very little scale movement. I’ve always been strong not bendy but the Pilates is working and making it easier to move my sack of rice baby around

 

[johnathan_d_hill]

@rejisamuel Have you had your thyroid checked?

 

[rejisamuel]

@johnathan_d_hill I mean, i will have everything and anything checked, and i know i shouldn’t wish a thyroid problem but damn if there was an answer and a solution that’d almost feel great. I think what’s so frustrating about post partum weight loss is that there often IS no answer. There’s no diagnosable problem, no pill, nothing to correct, nothing interesting for a research team to study. I’ll get the thyroid checked bc I’m desparate and hit my deductible so whatever, and maybe remember to follow up on this sub lol. But i have a feeling I’m just a classic case of inability to lose weight until I wean.

 

[motsworld]

@johnathan_d_hill I was going to ask this too.

 

[kansasgirl]

@rejisamuel I would forget the calories for now personally if it’s not working while EBF. That’s what I’m doing cause I know my supply is impacted and I don’t lose anything. I’ve decided to just give myself a break, I don’t like the mental load of it anyway, and focus on movement as a habit - that way I’ll have the momentum still there when I’m ready to wean and try to lose weight again. I guess there’s pregnancy weight and breastfeeding weight for some of us, we don’t all get blessed with the effortless loss

 

[rejisamuel]

@kansasgirl the "effortless loss" needs to be banned! it gives me such intense sadness/shame/FOMO. i so badly want to be one of those women who are like 'i sneezed and lost 20 lbs of water weight' but instead everything i consume just stays in my body forever, it seems.

 

[kansasgirl]

@rejisamuel Same

 

[talithakoum]

@rejisamuel We are told that it takes 6 weeks to heal from giving birth but I find it's closer to 6 months to a year for most women to start getting back to normal. Theres a reason why 18 months is the recommended time between having babies. I understand the frustration but 3 months isn't enough time to expect to see progress. It's worth the effort but you're still recovering.

 

[jomary]

@rejisamuel Just chiming in to let you know you’re not alone - 3 months postpartum, EBF, I’m in almost the same boat. It weirdly doesn’t seem to matter what I eat, I can eat like a human garbage can and I don’t gain weight, BUT nothing and I mean nothing is moving the weight. I’m back to my normal fitness stuff too and +30lb over baseline. I feel icky but also happy to be providing milk to my baby. I also have a 3 year old and it was not this tough to lose weight last time, but I also didn’t lose much until I weaned around 6 months. Will probably wean around there again this time especially if I still haven’t lost anything by then.

 

[ninjax]

@rejisamuel I could have written this post myself. I am 5 months postpartum and have 50 lbs to lose to go back to my pre-pregnancy, pre-IVF weight and I’m exclusively BF. I am tracking 1800 calories per day, doing three HIIT classes per week, walk as much as I can on the other days, and the actual weight loss is a sad joke. Maybe 200 grams per week. My supply took a hit, I’m hungry, sad and frustrated. I don’t take any photos with my baby because I can’t stand looking at myself with this current weight. Don’t know what else to do.

Despite all this, I don’t want to quit breastfeeding. My baby loves it, I love it. I worked so hard in the early weeks for it to work for us.

Anyway, all of this just to express some solidarity!

 

[camipls]

@rejisamuel If you haven’t gotten your period back, then your hormones are still kind of wonky. Even then, I probably wouldn’t expect to start losing much until baby starts some solids. Lift heavy, eat adequate protein, eat mostly foods not from a package. Forget the calories for now.

 

[manoffiji]

@camipls I have been wondering about this. I haven’t gotten mine back at 5montgs and was wondering if there was a correlation to the weight staying

 

[jimbigheart]

@manoffiji hm, i’m interested in this too and wondering if anyone can point me towards studies on it. i’m 1 year pp and haven’t gotten my cycle back yet.