When is it safe to be excited?

[firefnx]

My wife has had 5 m/c (1 at 14 weeks with an untested embryo that ended up having trisomy 18). We went back and did a second round of IVF, she had a chemical pregnancy with the first embryo and then we put two in at once and one stuck. We're at 12 weeks, the embryo was PGT tested and came back normal for everything, but I know that isn't 100% accurate. Last time around, we learned of the issue at the nuchal fold ultrasound, I think that is coming up next week and I'm happy b/c baby's growing and has a strong heartbeat, but the last time we got to the nuchal test it, the result almost killed me. Our IVF doc graduated us to an OB, and both have said everything looks good and it's a tested embryo, so we should try to enjoy it, but I don't think my anxiety will end until I've got a baby in my hands.

Update: we had the 20 week anatomy scan today and everything looked good. I'm finally starting to feel happy and that I can enjoy this pregnancy!

 

[hysterical]

@firefnx Depends what you mean by "safe". Anything can happen at any time, I wouldn't say don't celebrate as this is a joyous occasion especially if you have been trying to have a baby for awhile.

Too often does the looming possibilities overshadow our joy in stuff like this, none of us know what tomorrow brings so celebrate what you have today, as of right now you have what will be a healthy baby growing inside your wife's body.

 

[firefnx]

@hysterical Thank you!

 

[behappyme]

@firefnx Fwiw, our midwife encouraged us that after the 12 week mark, m/c and uncommon and rare. We waited to tell our respective family the news till about 11.5 weeks for this exact reason.

 

[chellebelle75]

@firefnx I'm in a very similar situation. Emotional roller coaster.

I don't think I feel happy until I have a baby in my arms

 

[evergreen777]

@firefnx I waited until Nuchal and then just allowed myself to feel happy (as much as my anxiety would let me).

 

[firefnx]

@evergreen777 Just had the nuchal today. We did ivf and the embryo was tested, so we already knew it should be fine, but when she measured it and said everything looks good, my heart jumped out of my chest. We saw him turning over and bouncing around. I can't describe how awesome that feels!

 

[evergreen777]

@firefnx Congrats that’s amazing! It’s an amazing experience. The 20 week anatomy scan was so cute, you could see our son push against the tech’s tools as if he was trying to push them away from his space

 

[evergreen777]

@firefnx Congrats that’s amazing! It’s an amazing experience. The 20 week anatomy scan was so cute, you could see our son push against the tech’s tools as if he was trying to push them away from his space

 

[typo]

@firefnx We have an IVF baby after May years trying.

I want to say celebrate from day 1, but I would be a hypocrite. We have moments of intense joy and celebration followed by anxiety and worry. We agreed to share our worries and fears openly with each other, keep each other grounded and take the pregnancy one appointment at a time.