what language to speak to baby

[resol]

Hello everyone. New to this sub so sorry if something similar has been asked.
I have a 8 month old son and I come from a background of many languages. My parents were born in Pakistan, moved to Sweden where I was born and brought up. I speak Swedish fluently and Urdu very well as well as several different languages.

My husband is also Pakistani descent, but he is from Norway. After marrying, I moved to live with him in Norway and we have been living together for some years in Iran.

My question is now this. We plan on moving back to Norway in some years, however my son's primary years will be spent in Iran. Until he is around 5-6 years old. We go during the summers to visit family where we spend around 2 months in Norway and 1 month in Sweden.
We have decided to speak Urdu to our boy, since we want him to learn his mother tongue properly. We know that he will learn farsi in kindergarten here in Iran, but even if he doesn't that language is not so important for us. However I also want him to have a solid background in Norwegian since we plan on moving back. I speak Swedish to my husband and he speaks Norwegian to me (they are very similar languages) so he is exposed to the language, and I also read his night time books in Norwegian.

My question is, do you think that would suffice? Or should 8 actively try to teach him better Norwegian? Or should g8s father speak Norwegian to him since it's his primary language? Thankful for any input!

 

[hollyroller7]

@resol This is a tricky one!

Can I ask when you plan on moving back to Norway? If you plan on moving back when he’s a toddler, for example, I say focus on Urdu at home because he will easily pick up Norwegian as the community language once you go back.

But if you might not go back to Norway until he’s older, like 7 or 8, then I would perhaps have one parent speak to him in Urdu and one speak to him in Norwegian, that way he is getting high exposure to both. I think it’s great you read him Norwegian books!

 

[jackwallar1000]

@resol Since the difference between Swedish and Norwegian is so minuscule and your baby will adjust immediately to Norwegian if he speaks Swedish, I would just do 2 languages at home. Swedish (or Norwegian, whichever you prefer) and then Urdu. I may be biased but Swedish / Norwegian is so easy to learn that I wouldn’t stress too much about it. I wouldn’t split your time between Swedish and Norwegian, just pick whatever you prefer and your baby will 100% adjust to a Norwegian school if he has solid background in Swedish.

 

[petra888]

@jackwallar1000 I agree with the sentiment of Swedish/Norwegian: they really are so similar, that if you are fluent in one you are usually able to understand the other. Ofc there are false friends (e.g. spis in Swedish is stove, but in Norwegian to eat IIRC), but I’m a Finnish person fluent in Swedish and I was able to travel to Norway and train internal company staff with only minor difficulties.

There is even a name for the weird mixture of languages used in these settings, Skandinaviska (usually based in Swedish, then you mix in some Norwegian, Danish and Icelandic depending on the speakers participating).

 

[jackwallar1000]

@petra888 Yeah, exactly, I speak Norwegian and I can understand Swedish. Written Swedish sometimes takes a second but for a 6 year old kid this will absolutely not be a problem, the languages are so close Norwegians sill apply to Swedish jobs and claim they’re native. I see no reason to further spit time between Swedish and Norwegian.

 

[kliver]

@jackwallar1000 I wonder if the swedish Norwegian will merge considering such limited exposure or if it'll end up kind of like code switching. some linguists classify them as the same language.

 

[jackwallar1000]

@kliver I would say they should actually stick to one, either Swedish or Norwegian, and then the kid will pick up the other language later. I cannot stress how close these languages are, especially since we’re talking about a kid who will presumably not be writing. The languages do have some differences in writing but the spoken forms are close.

 

[aldredian]

@resol So to summarize, you're living in Iran where your child will learn Farsi till he is 5 or 6 years old. You have no plans to retain that language.

So really, the only languages you care about are Urdu, Swedish and Norwegian.

Question: does your husband speak Urdu?

Anyways, I think just have husband speak in Norwegian and then there's several ways for you to pass on Urdu and Swedish.

1. Alternate weeks between the 2 languages. E.g. 1 week Swedish, 1 week Urdu. It helps you get into the flow more.
2. At home it's Urdu, outside it's Swedish (your pick)
3. Alternate days between the 2 languages.

Essentially, pick the one that's easiest to stay consistent with.

Also, I would suggest you let dad read Norwegian as part of bedtime routine while you read Urdu and Swedish.

When you're back in Norway, the question is whether or not your husband can speak Urdu. If he can, he can become the Urdu speaking parent and you switch to Swedish and let the environment take care of Norwegian.

If he can't, then proceed as before.

 

[solution4music]

@resol If the community language is urdu and he will learn that from people around him/school then speak to him in Norwegian at home. This will flip when you’re in Norway- Urdu should be the home language…

 

[resol]

@solution4music So right now if I don’t speak to him in Urdu he won’t hear it anywhere besides those times he speaks to his grandparents on phone etc. the language he will hear now in the community is farsi. But he hears Norwegian since I read to him in that language and he hears his father speak that to me

 

[solution4music]

@resol sorry I misunderstood...there are alot of languages flying around in your post - I can see why it's difficult to figure this one out. If I were you I would pick the two languages you want him to speak the best - sounds like its Urdu and Norwegian and do OPOL (with one parent speaking one and other parent speaking the other.) I am in a country where many parents speak 2 different languages natively at home AND it is not the local language (which they don't bother speaking to their kids) and that is what they do.