we have 5 months to be toilet independent

[healthgeenie]

Hey - the title isn’t as dramatic as it seems.

This year I am considering making the switch from daycare to preK-3 at a private school in town. the only requirement we do not meet is toilet independence. my bud can use the toilet when prompted, and with low pushback, most days. This includes all steps with clothes and washing hands. They seem to notice the signs when they need to have a BM as they will attempt to retreat to another room. The act of vocalizing to me and other caregivers has not been the most successful.
we have a consistent schedule at home during the weekends (i work 10hr days and 20hrs at an unpaid internship edited) and they attends daycare which is not as consistent at this time.

i am curious if we all get on board, me and the daycare, and provide ample support along the way could toilet independence be possible within the next 5 months.

1. they are motivated by rewards (stickers, treasure box, etc.)
2. they are independent in most other areas
3. lately there has been very low frustration and pushback when prompted to use the toilet. BMs took us a Very long time.
4. the little dude can actively communicate needs/wants in other areas of life.

i am looking for supportive advice. suggestions on toileting practices that you have had success with. ways to frame this conversation with their daycare. i believe us getting on the same track is 1000% necessary as my kiddo spends a majority of the day in their care.

right now, i do not have space available to read books (full time job + full time grad school) but i can listen to a podcast or read a brief article! thank you so much for reading!

 

[joseph2013]

@healthgeenie This may be out of the ordinary, but I've recently started elimination communication with my LO. Go Diaper Free has a podcast on Spotify and a FB group for support. She has a book as well. There is a specific potty training guide for 18+ months that you can look into!

 

[hannrr]

@joseph2013 Not OP but I’ve been so curious about elimination communication and this is my sign to read up on it more - thank you! I have an infant and toddler and had no idea there were guides for 18+ months!

 

[justified4ever]

@joseph2013 Did you buy all the guides in her shop or have you been managing just with the podcast and FB group? Wondering if it’s necessary to purchase.

 

[joseph2013]

@justified4ever Hey, I haven't purchased anything yet, I've been going by her free guide (4 easy catches) and the podcasts + FB group. I borrowed a book about it from my local La Leche League, The Diaper Free Baby, that I'm reading now.

 

[justified4ever]

@joseph2013 Got it, thank you!!

 

[katrina2017]

@healthgeenie My answer depends on a) age and b) why you want to switch him so badly. What do you think this different program would give you?

As an educator myself the concept of expecting any child under the age of 4 to be completely potty trained before entering a program makes me question their philosophies in terms of developmentally appropriate care.

For potty training. We just went straight into no diapers. Undies only as soon as she was peeing semi consistently. We only diapered in the car and at night. She had poop accidents for about 4 months but did fine with peeing. So we kept her in undies and just dealt with the accidents. The key is to never get upset just reinforcing where and what to say.
She was just under 2.5 when she started and just stopped poop accidents a little bit ago.

 

[healthgeenie]

@katrina2017 a. age: 2.5 (august bday)
b. my current daycare is highly inconsistent, disorganized, and i don’t feel comfortable with my kid there. i live in a low income town with very limited childcare options so i took what i could get. i would like my kid to be in a safer environment with clear communication, a clear “curriculum” and programming (again, only 3 so the expectations are appropriate - i have a education background as well)

i am going to tour the school this week. i would like more clarification on their toileting expectations.

we use exclusively underwear on the weekends. maybe one or two accidents in a day. same, nap and bedtime we use a pull-up. our weekends are pretty smooth when it comes to toilet time. i tend to take a relaxed and consistent approach.

 

[katrina2017]

@healthgeenie Then I don’t see a reason not to send in underwear to daycare as well. Sounds like they are pretty much potty trained!

 

[healthgeenie]

@katrina2017 thank you for your feedback! i only assumed we were “pretty much” potty trained. i’ve never done this before and don’t want to miss steps or overthink.

the daycare has burned me in so many ways that i worry about their consistency. i’ve picked them up on a day we wore underwear only to find that they placed a pull-up on underneath. idk how common that practice is but it defeats the purpose imo. i need to rip off the bandage, have a straightforward conversation, and proceed forward.

 

[katrina2017]

@healthgeenie Just make sure you communicate no pull-ups. On daycare it’s common practice to put newly training kids in their pull-ups for nap and outside time. As a parent and educator communication is key. It’s so frustrating when it feels daycare isn’t holding up their end of the bargain

There is no right or wrong! You’re doing great

 

[healthgeenie]

@katrina2017 much appreciated

 

[katrina2017]

@healthgeenie Also all the people shaming you for working and going to school are disgusting. Their privilege is the only one’s speaking. Children need secure attachment but that doesn’t equal never leaving their mother. Not when it’s between that and no food on the table.

I hope their unkind, judgemental words don’t make you feel any less.

 

[healthgeenie]

@katrina2017 yeah, i felt disturbed by the comments but i am confident in my parenting and attachment as a single parent. we good over here. thank you for checking in

 

[cshirna]

@healthgeenie Hi! As a daycare teacher I just want to give you some reassurance. I taught the 3 years olds and we all knew accidents were going to happen. We had a child that pooped in her pants while outside on the playground. 5 months is plenty of time for your LO to become independent and if he has an accident, if he has MULTIPLE accidents, it’ll be okay Just don’t send him in pull-ups!

 

[healthgeenie]

@cshirna hi - thank you for sharing your experience at this stage! we will continue working towards our goals

 

[healthgeenie]

@cshirna circling back - we are pretty dang independent, BMs included. went at my buds pace, low pressure yet consistent. haven’t purchased pull-ups since this original post!