Teenagers disagreement handled by parents? Is it a good idea?

[mrfun83]

Sorry, this is long.
I dont know what to think of it so I am asking for advice please. There was a situation today between my 14 year old son and his classroom colleague (not really a buddy/friend). I didnt know anything about it until I got a message late evening from the other boy's Dad. So I called back. The story goes like this: the boy x cursed to my son in a private chat in a group on discort private group. And my son recorded him swearing (just the boy's voice) and posted it in the group. The boy x is the admin of the group. His dad is clearly upset by the fact his son had been upset for few hours (apparently he was). So, now his dad wants to plan on sorting sth out, that he is not letting it lay around. I am totally confused as these boys are bloody 14, should talk this through between themselves. My son has never ever had any social life problems, he is a funny and popular boy, very mentally tough and resilient too (which he built such skill but not letting mommy or daddy solving his problems for him) . What he did was a form of f...cking around, pranking another boy for swearing. "Bullying" problem comes to my mind but his intentions weren't to hurt anyone. I am just afraid the other parent is overprotective and will try to sort this situation his way. I really cant understand where the big problem is, my son said everyone in the group were chill about it and nothing really happened. I remember being teenager we would always do such things to each other. Maybe I am twisted or a bad parent, I get it that it wasn't the best prank but I dont really hink the other boy is not as bodered by this as much as his father appears to be..so I would love to hear your opinions. Bare in mind we are in eastern europe culture and my boy is mentally more British then eastern European (we moved out of UK 2 years ago) Shall I punish my son for doing what he thought in his teen crazy mind was fun, pranky kinda spur of a moment. I talked with him, explained not everyone is as brave or tough and that the other kid was probably ashamed but for Christ Sake, why did that boy not communicated it straight with my son and instead hid his head in the sand. If you think you are adult enough to swear be adult enough to admit to it, therefore there would be no issue. He is basically depressed everyone in the group heard him swearing. I am lost and been analysing it for over 2 hours. Shattered.

 

[krys89]

@mrfun83 Some “friends” were saying really mean and horrible things to my son in PS chat. Then we found out they were sending really bad images between themselves and saying it was my son and making fun of him. Then they started treating him poorly at school. My husband and I visited the parents in person to let them know. It was a horrible situation and the online bullying stuff is insane and very hurtful. I would make sure your son knows it’s unacceptable at any level.

 

[mrfun83]

@krys89 I'm sorry to hear that. My son was bullied in the past too, not in social media, it story now it's just with all this stupid memos they send each other, abusing and laughing out, I think they forget about borders. Good time to remind both parts. The only difference is what for one boy may appear as a bullying, for other kid it may sound like a funny critic (that's if they have self criticism skill in them). Only someone's reaction will tell if the line was crossed. I know it wouldn't bother my son much, I saw the other boy sending 20 pictures of my son from years ago when he was sweet little boy. That could be bullying too as it was in a form of laugh out. But he didn't think much of it. Anyway I will get my kiddo to talk with other boy and explain his behaviour.

 

[katrina2017]

@mrfun83 You're really judging the other parent too. Different kids have different needs.
Good for you that "my popular kid solves all his own problems" approach is working out for your kid- but it wouldn't work for everyone.

 

[michiqan]

@mrfun83 They are 14 and not adults- your brain doesn’t fully mature until you are 26. Your son has a long way to go. You need to guide your son in correct behavior (because what he did wasn’t ok and he studying it by saying he is the funny kid doesn’t make it better) so he can fix the situation with this student and make better decisions going forward.

 

[katrina2017]

@mrfun83 I didn't even have to read the entire thing to figure out what's wrong with this picture.

The discord admin kid is in the wrong. You can't just light someone up and not expect retaliation. The admin has even thinner skin than I do. Him and his dad are being entitled.