Suggestions to reduce crying before sleep?

[francescapl]

Hi everyone. I’m FTM and need some advice to reduce crying for my 3.5 months old before sleep. Here is what I’ve been doing and I’m unsure if I’m doing it right.

At every day nap, she’d be crying a little like she’s fighting it, and then she’ll be quick asleep, like under 2mins crying. However the crying gets more intense into the evening, like she’d cry out of tiredness. The crying happens almost only before sleep despite I follow the timing and look at her cues. I held her to get drowsy/to sleep, then I’d place her down in crib. She’d sleep 30-45mins in crib then wake up and I’d pick her up, sooth her and place her down again. I sometimes contact nap with her cuz I’m too tired and maman needs sleep. Night time tho, once she slept she’d go from 9:30 til morning.

Activities wise, we do like piano gym activities, and grab stuff, or tummy thing, but before the last feed, I’d read, play with me, a lot less stimulating.

I’d really like to reduce her crying, if that’s possible? Though she isn’t crying for long I’m wondering what else I can do for her?

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Annex:

There’s no set hour but her patterns of late is:
1. 7:30 - wake for ~1.5hrs to feed and play then nap for 1hr
2. 11:00 - wake for ~1.5hrs to feed (with top up) and play then nap for 2hrs+ (her biggest nap of the day)
3. 14:30 - wake for ~1.5hrs to feed and play then nap for 1.5hr
4. 17:30 - wake for ~2hrs to feed (with top up) and play then nap for 1hr
5. 21:00 - wake for ~2hrs+ to feed and play then

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[fifwood]

@francescapl I also have a 3.5 month old, they must be born within days of each other. We recently moved “bedtime” WAY up (7-7:30pm) from our 8:30/9pm before and it weirdly a huge difference. He isn’t as cranky going to bed for the night and it’s far less crying, have you thought about trying that and seeing how that feels? My guy sleeps 12 hours with one wake up to eat somewhere 8-9 hours in.

 

[francescapl]

@fifwood Yay, mine was born on 30th August. Not sure how I can bring up the bed time. Her last bottle is at 8:30-9:00. What did you do?

 

[sferber]

@francescapl I don’t want to minimize, but it sounds like your baby is doing great! Crying at that age us normal. If you know her hunger, diaper and stimulation needs are met, and she’s not gassy, id chalk it up to being a really young baby. Maybe someone else will have a different take.

 

[francescapl]

@sferber Thanks for replying and the kind comment! It’s reassuring to read

 

[mykkah]

@francescapl Just remember crying is the only way they can communicate. So it’s not all bad or a sign something is wrong!! Sounds like you’re doing great.

 

[jcpayneblazer]

@francescapl Congratulations, you must have strong sleep associations set up for her that she knows it’s sleep time (otherwise she wouldn’t protest)!

 

[francescapl]

@jcpayneblazer Oh! I didn’t look at it this way, thank you!

 

[starrfairy]

@francescapl Developmentally, this is a fussy time for babies, particularly in the evenings. They go through a major growth spurt AND developmental spurt.

What you've described is normal (except the sleeping straight through after 9:30... you have a better sleeper than most babies... also don't be surprised if this changes in later months, that's normal too), so just keep comforting her. It sounds like you're doing great!

 

[francescapl]

@starrfairy I’m crossing fingers and toes that this schedule sticks for a bit more as it’s really great for us comparing to waking every three hours on the dot just weeks ago!

 

[starrfairy]

@francescapl Definitely appreciate it while it lasts! I just mentioned it so that if things do change, you don't think it's because you did anything "wrong."

I had 4 babies (now teens) and the main lesson I learned is that the only think consistent about babies/toddlers/children's sleep habits is that it's always changing, and there's always going to be another transition to a "new normal" at some point.

 

[francescapl]

@starrfairy Haha so true. Kinda true to most of aspects at the beginning for me. As soon as I thought “ok, I got this”, then she changed it up. Almost like she’s afraid I have too much free time on my hand

 

[prashanth]

@francescapl My kid did this for a while, refused to sleep, being awaken was too interesting, then stopped after a couple months.

Last month he was back at it, he was doing 2 naps a day but refused to sleep, so again crying sessions. We realised he wasn't as tired as we thought, now he's doing 1 nap and it's fine again. maybe try that? make sleep cycles a bit longer.

 

[francescapl]

@prashanth That’s interesting. How old is your kid? I think this might be coming up as her stomach can hold a bit more milk then she can sleep longer.

 

[prashanth]

@francescapl When this first happened and went from 4 to 3 naps he was arround 4 months.

We have never been able to get a routine as solid as yours, but maybe it's that, if the baby does long naps you could space them and do 3 instead of 4.

Not an expert and every baby is different, but it could work. Checked on google the naps a baby should make from 0-12 months, it says arround 4-6 months they go to just 3 naps.

 

[dwhite081705]

@francescapl Do you nurse to sleep? Maybe drowsy but awake isn’t working as well anymore?

Overall crying for a short time isn’t always a problem either, but I personally would do more to help the baby sleep if they seemed to need it. There are a lot of “sleep phases” coming up and what works one week or month might not work the next.

 

[francescapl]

@dwhite081705 Depend on her schedule. Sometimes she can fall asleep right after the bottle. Sometimes she sleeps in a lot so when she’s awake, she’s already at time for feeding. Then it’ll be feeding then play. When she stops playing, gets all quite and just look for me, then I’ll get her to sleep.

The drowsy but awake is touch and go. So I said drowsy/asleep. She used to be able to sleep at her piano gym, it was amazing lol! But no more.

 

[cameronb67]

@francescapl Maybe not the feedback you are hoping for, but my now-4yo was like this as a baby. Every evening, it was intense crying for HOURS before bedtime. I still wonder if there was some underlying issue that I never got to the bottom of, but it did pass in time. She's completely fine now, but it was so hard back then. I really empathize with you.

 

[francescapl]

@cameronb67 Yeah. I think it’s normal for them but sometimes I keep wondering with this amount fussing little bit everyday, I’m a bit worried if it affects her later on etc.

 

[butterscoth]

@francescapl It’s very normal at this age. Mine was like this from 15-20 weeks