studies on nature v nurture - all flawed?

[julz123]

This may be one of those things for which there isn't truly an answer.

I watched this interview with Erica Komisar, who strongly advocates for attachment theory. She suggests that an appropriate amount of time to be physically away from a child is their age - so no time for a baby, 1h for a one year old, 2h for a 2 year old etc. She cites the studies that show high cortisol in daycare children and suggests that this harms brain development- causing adhd, anxiety and depression that may not manifest into teen years (making it difficult to study). Her book is called 'Being there'.

On the other hand there are twin studies that show outcomes for identical twins raised apart are almost... identical. This suggests that parenting, within an acceptable norm (ie parents that would be selected as appropriate for adoption), doesn't matter long term. Therefore daycare v mothercare doesn't matter long term.

I understand that there are many different studies showing many different things, and all these studies seem to have flaws (eg the bowlby study is on severely neglected infants, the twin studies cannot really isolate parenting choices like daycare v not, there is 'the nurture assumption' that concludes that peer group influence children more than parents, while ignoring that parents can influence peer group)

Anyway I've read all these books and feel no closer to forming an opinion as to what is best. What is your take on it? Any studies that you believe to be most robust? I am trying to decide on things like family size and whether I should to stay home with the under 3s for the sake of their mental health or if it would be wasted toil (I do love them but would prefer to work part time, which requires travel about once a month). I'm trying to stay objective.

Here are the views from the two extremes (evolutionary psychology v psychodynamic) v evolutionary psychology

• evolutionary psychologist Dr Doug Lyle who thinks children just need their basic needs met and genes will take care of the rest

also Dr Bryan Caplan, economist, who believes genes account for about 80% of outcomes, and that even private school and neoptism wears off about age 40.

and a link to psychodynamic therapist ans Attachment theorist Erica Komisar who thinks mothers need to be there for the first 3 years

 

[ramsby194]

@julz123

She suggests that an appropriate amount of time to be physically away from a child is their age - so no time for a baby

I'm a SAH homeschooling mom, and even I think this is completely ridiculous.

 

[danieldf]

@julz123 Komisar is not an advocate for attachment theory. Attachment theory is a well established bit of psychology that makes relatively non-controversial claims (basically, that outright neglect causes lasting damage). Kosimar (who has a degree in social work, not psychology) is an advocate for attachment parenting, which borrows language from attachment theory to make claims vastly beyond anything supported by data.

As for daycare specifically, it's a complicated subject, and different studies have shown seemingly contradictory results. The quality of the daycare is definitely a big factor, as is the quality of care the kid would be receiving if not in daycare. But even the most alarming of studies show a fairly small effect at an individual level, certainly much less than the variation due to genetics.

 

[kentgladden]

@danieldf she doesn't talk about attachment parenting, she suggests 1-1 caregiving for very young children with caregivers who aren't necessarily the mother and also has appeared on podcasts suggesting child-centered custody arrangements including for very young babies.

 

[justintime25]

@danieldf I feel like OP misses over the quality of care a kid receives outside of daycare. I love my daughter and love spending time with her. But I am bored af and spend too much time on my phone around her, or too much time doing other things (she’s too young to help with cooking etc.). At daycare, she’ll have one teacher whose sole job is to care for 3-4 babies. It’s more entertaining to care for more than one and that teacher will be fired if she went on instagram during the workday. It doesn’t make me feel good about myself but I genuinely think she will get more enriching care in daycare at this stage of her life. (I think one daycare we are looking at/on the waitlist for would be considered “high quality” but the other is probably more average; I feel the same for both)

 

[reneaz]

@julz123 At the first outlook, it seems that the answer is somewhere else:
- Erica Komjsar seems to be a psychoanalyst, psychoanalysis is not a recognised science, so would not even look to what she has to say.
- regarding evolutionary psychology, it seems it is criticised a lot in the world of research from what I recall.

Is there another main theory out there? It seems to me there must be one with a lot more consensus around it just from the above.