I know this sort of sounds like a first world problem, but I don’t know what to do. My daughter is turning 16 this year. We had discussed the original plan of taking some friends out to a nice dinner. I could swing that with some help from her dad. Apparently my ex brought up a Sweet 16 to her and discussed it and they decided to have this party before even discussing with me.
Background. I’ve been flying solo for these 16 years. He arrived his affair partner. My house, my bills mostly everything is on my salary alone. And I pay ALOT more for our daughter because she is with me most of the time. I also put earn him by 40k, so my child support sucks. It’s barely anything. He agreed to raise it after 16 years when I spoke to him that I can’t swing paying for everything anymore. It has been raised by $40/ month, I get a whopping $40/month with majority custody. But whatever.
The point is I actually have a good career but I have to work a second job to stay above water while getting to enjoy some things ( not many, and not vacations like he does) he took a second job to pay for all the extras he enjoys ( their time shares and he’s an avid concert goer). We live in the NY/NJ metropolitan area which leaves me broke.
Anyways, I got backed into having no choice but to do this party. It’s mostly his family ( I don’t really have family). He is a split it down to the cent 50/50 kind of guy. I was putting away for a small vacation for me and my daughter to have because I never get to take her. That money is now in the sweet 16 fund. We rented a space but need to do all the catering , Photo Booth, etc. I Don’t have the money! But what do I do? Not pay and not be at my daughter’s sweet 16? It would absolutely devastate her.
I’m really just so angry I’m backed j to a wall spending money I don’t have. My credit card debt is higher than I ever wanted it and now I see no other way.
I just want out my financial hole and now I’m digging deeper for my daughter to have this party that I really had no say in.
I don’t even think I came for advice because I am pot-committed now. I just came to vent.
16 years is a long time to coparenting and be solely financially responsible. I work so hard and so much and I have not much of a personal quality of life. I can move in 2 years and I’m counting down to the day I can sell this house and say good riddance and maybe work one job and enjoy life a bit.
Sorry for the bitch session, I know I’m fortunate to have a career and an income and a home. But it’s taken a lot of hard work and struggle to do this alone and I’m tired
Background. I’ve been flying solo for these 16 years. He arrived his affair partner. My house, my bills mostly everything is on my salary alone. And I pay ALOT more for our daughter because she is with me most of the time. I also put earn him by 40k, so my child support sucks. It’s barely anything. He agreed to raise it after 16 years when I spoke to him that I can’t swing paying for everything anymore. It has been raised by $40/ month, I get a whopping $40/month with majority custody. But whatever.
The point is I actually have a good career but I have to work a second job to stay above water while getting to enjoy some things ( not many, and not vacations like he does) he took a second job to pay for all the extras he enjoys ( their time shares and he’s an avid concert goer). We live in the NY/NJ metropolitan area which leaves me broke.
Anyways, I got backed into having no choice but to do this party. It’s mostly his family ( I don’t really have family). He is a split it down to the cent 50/50 kind of guy. I was putting away for a small vacation for me and my daughter to have because I never get to take her. That money is now in the sweet 16 fund. We rented a space but need to do all the catering , Photo Booth, etc. I Don’t have the money! But what do I do? Not pay and not be at my daughter’s sweet 16? It would absolutely devastate her.
I’m really just so angry I’m backed j to a wall spending money I don’t have. My credit card debt is higher than I ever wanted it and now I see no other way.
I just want out my financial hole and now I’m digging deeper for my daughter to have this party that I really had no say in.
I don’t even think I came for advice because I am pot-committed now. I just came to vent.
16 years is a long time to coparenting and be solely financially responsible. I work so hard and so much and I have not much of a personal quality of life. I can move in 2 years and I’m counting down to the day I can sell this house and say good riddance and maybe work one job and enjoy life a bit.
Sorry for the bitch session, I know I’m fortunate to have a career and an income and a home. But it’s taken a lot of hard work and struggle to do this alone and I’m tired