Should I switch my 5 year olds pre k from play based to structured?

[caa55]

Option 1: His current school I absolutely love his teacher because she understands he moves around a lot and does not make him feel like it’s a bad thing because she knows he can’t control it. It is a 15 min drive there and 15 minutes back in a different direction then my other child’s school which is about 6 minute drive so technically I’m driving for about 22 min in the morning. In class for 2 hours everyday they switch from group activity to a different group activity which is mostly playing with toys and 3 other children besides the 20 minutes on a tablet that teaches them and They do circle time with the teacher for about 30 minutes. This school also has cameras I can check on him which gives me peace of mind but I also won’t be able to do that next year in kindergarten either way so it’s not to big of a deal.

Option 2: A new pre k that is highly rated and very hard to get a spot just called me and I have 2 days to decide what to do. They are only a 3 minute drive and on my way to my other child’s school. They are more structured and he would go from his main class room with his main 2 teachers where they do play at times And go outdoors to play then he would switch to a math and reading class with separate teachers for each class. This school does not have cameras so I’m a little uneasy but I think he will be okay either way.

I asked what he would like to do and he said he wants to switch schools but does not give me a real reason as to why. He doesn’t know anyone in schools name and says he doesn’t have any friends though which breaks my heart. I’m just afraid he may not like the new school or his new teachers may not understand he has no control over being more energetic and moving around a lot (I’m getting him tested for add,adhd, and autism just waiting for his appointment)

Sorry for such a big post I just wanted to give as much information as possible. Thanks for any options and feedback!

 

[russianpotatoes]

@caa55 This is hard. I would think about what my current values are at this time and choose the option that best supports that. If you currently value time and that drive is frustrating and could relieve a point of tension and you think your kid will be successful either way then it might be worth it. If you value free play and less structure for you kid then it might be worth it to stay put. If you think your kiddo would benefit from more structure then that would be a vote for moving.

2 days is a tight timeline to make a decision!

 

[caa55]

@russianpotatoes Right I’m just stuck and it’s in my head constantly because I’m overthinking it all. My biggest concern is I want him to learn more because he does play more then anything and doesn’t get much time with his teacher but the time he does get is beneficial. I would love not driving so far daily but I don’t mind if that’s the best option for him. He is saying he wants to go to the new school but I can’t figure out why he wants to go so badly which kind of concerns me in a way. He did tell me last night that one kid is mean to him and won’t play with him but I also know he’s only 5 and I need to make the best decision for him I’m just scared he may end up not liking the other school even though every time I ask he says he wants to switch.

 

[russianpotatoes]

@caa55 If switching gives you improved transportation experience, you want him to learn more and feel like he might get that at the new place and he says he’s interested in a new school it might be worth it to try? You could talk to your current school about possibly needing to come back if it’s that bad.

 

[caa55]

@russianpotatoes I actually spoke to his school today and told them he’s changing schools and they were very understanding. I do believe if he absolutely does not like it I’m sure I could always come back as long as they have a spot open for him but I have faith this is going to work out well and we will both be much happier at the new school.

 

[russianpotatoes]

@caa55 Congratulations!

 

[caa55]

@russianpotatoes Thanks so much! I’m excited to see how this goes. I’ll update on this thread (if I’m allowed) in maybe 2 weeks once he’s been there for a week or so.

 

[spacecadet3767]

@caa55 I definitely wouldn't switch, if you like his school currently. It sounds like they have structured and unstructured time, which is great.

 

[caa55]

@spacecadet3767 I like his school I just don’t see much of a change in how much he’s learned since he started and I also don’t see the teacher do much with the kids besides circle time for 15 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes in the afternoon. I’m just torn between not knowing which one he’d do better at I wish he could try out the new one for a week or even a few days and decide.

 

[katrina2017]

@caa55 We did this and ended up switching back. His original school isn't exactly play based (those don't exist here l) but the new one was too structured and focused on academics. Let kids be kids! I would say with the current school. He is going to have another change to deal with when he starts kindergarten right?

 

[caa55]

@katrina2017 Yes he will be going to kindergarten in august. I keep going back and forth on it because the school he’s in has a great teacher and is pretty laid back but the new school I think he would learn a lot more then he has. I just wish he could explain to me why he wants to switch so badly so I would know if it’s something more or if it’s just a new shiny toy type of thing. I did ask him last night if anyone was mean to him etc and he said 1 little boy doesn’t want to play with him but that’s all he really would tell me as to why he wants to go to the new school.

 

[katrina2017]

@caa55 He's 5. They really don't have the capacity to know what they want when it comes to big decisions like this. He has no idea what it means to switch schools. He doesn't understand it's permanent until kindergarten and he won't be back to his old school. It's a decision you need to make FOR him.

 

[caa55]

@katrina2017 Your completely right I’m taking his choice into consideration but I want to do what I know is best for him. If only I could take him there for a week it would make this decision so much easier ugh being a mom is tough! Thanks for your advice i really appreciate it. I have a lot to think about and it’s making my anxiety sky rocket

 

[cookiedough7177]

@caa55 We chose not to, but we were considering k4 vs a play based daycare with a curriculum.

The k4 preschool had ONE 20 min “recess” and they sit a ton. It’s still teacher led but it’s school.

Our current awesome daycare will have TWO 45 min outdoor play times, plus everything is play based. And the teachers are very involved and follow a curriculum. So it’s not ALL unstructured play.

If was unstructured play to instructional-based play I would switch, especially if he’s had no experience learning to sit, do circle time, follow directions, etc that he would need to do in kindergarten/ 1st grade. Like is he learning colors, shapes, alphabet, using scissors, etc in his current place?

 

[caa55]

@cookiedough7177 The only thing he has learned is alphabet but this weekend we did the homework they sent home and it was sounding out the letters and he didn’t know any of them I was basically teaching him. They draw pictures, count (which he knew before starting) and he learned to write his name. They just started doing 1 sight word a week. I do love his teacher but I watch on camera and I don’t see him with either teacher most of the day besides circle time which is the first 15 minutes and and last 15 minutes. The whole day he’s basically in groups of 4 switching from playing with dinosaurs, blocks, coloring, iPad time (teaches them), and sensory table. That’s my biggest concern is he mostly plays all day there but I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or if he should have a little structure since kindergarten starts august and he will only have 30 minutes of play time. The new school does have play time indoors and outdoors and crafts im not sure on how long each day but they also have set times to learn math and reading. He keeps saying he wants to switch but he won’t tell me why exactly just that he wants to go to a new school.
And thanks for your help I deleted the other post I couldn’t figure out how at first I’m new to all of this Sorry!

 

[cookiedough7177]

@caa55 Man just switch him! Sounds like it would be beneficial in this case.

 

[caa55]

@cookiedough7177 Thanks I’m so indecisive obviously lol but I think your right and my guts pushing me in that direction. I just feel bad his teacher likes him and is very sweet but you’re right it’s beneficial to him in this case and that’s what is most important.

 

[katrina2017]

@caa55 My son also said he wanted to switch, liked it for a week, then hated it and cried every drop off at the new school. I posted already but we switched back. If he's happy let him stay. They will learn all that other stuff in kindergarten

 

[temesgen]

@caa55 You said you’re happy with his school in your original post but in the comments you’ve called out several things you don’t like (worried about whether he’s learning, length of the school day, stressful commute, etc). You said you don’t know why he wants to switch so badly, but he’s already told you - he doesn’t have any friends (and you’ve seen it yourself on the school footage). Honestly, neither of you seem happy with the situation. I know he’s going to have to transition again anyway but 8 months is almost an entire school year if you count summer. I think it’s worth taking the chance on the new school, especially if it’s going to do a better job at preparing him. It may even improve the attention span - kids that age still need mental stimulation/challenges and it sounds like the new school might give him some more.

 

[caa55]

@temesgen You’re absolutely right! I guess I really should have said I like his teacher and the fact that she understands how he acts is not him being bad he just can’t keep his body still like most the children there can. I have made my decision to go ahead and change him because your correct my biggest concern is he’s not going to be prepared for kindergarten and I honestly don’t think he will in his current school. I appreciate your insight and thank you for calling me out lol I really needed that! I’m not happy and neither is he and it’s obvious.
Thank you