Should I report the childcare provider?

[tdagfg2011]

I need help to figure out if this situation is actually okay or am I overthinking. I'm a 31 female with two kids, 8&4. My 4 year old goes to daycare full-time while my 8 year old is part-time, going during summer and after school. The kids have been out for summer break almost a month now and that means the daycare went from 3-4 Pre-K ages kids to almost 13 kids ranging from 3-4 to 13.

My child care provider is pretty good, the kids do not complain about her being mean or unfair but there have been a few things that make me feel a tad uncomfortable. The most recent is when my son came home and said the daycare provider takes a nap while the Pre-K kids take a nap and makes the older kids play quietly on tablets in the living room. The provider also has her son assistant her over the summer, he is college age and seems good with the kids but my son also said he takes a nap during this time too. I'm not 100% okay with the relationship her son has with some of the kids, they are usually sitting or laying on his lap but my kids also just started going there last year and the other kids have been there since they were babies so maybe the relationship is different and I am just not used to it. But the taking a nap situation has me very unsettled. I was told to call the child welfare hotline and ask if this is acceptable behavior because it sounds like neglect but I don't want to start something.

Bottom line, I'm a single mom, I cannot rely on their father for help, my family is about the same so if I call I'm also afraid she will find out I reported her. But my mom instincts are telling me this isn't safe, not with that many kids in your home. Am I the asshole for reporting the babysitter?

 

[humbleservant46]

@tdagfg2011 Absolutely NTA. Report the babysitter. She can't be sleeping if there's no one else there to provide childcare.

 

[megannn1]

@tdagfg2011 I think I’m confused the son is helping out if he’s working? I work in childcare checking licenses if he lives there, but he’s just helping he’s not employed by her that she could take a nap because she’s not a part of the ratio of caregivers to children. Now, if he’s in void by the caregiver, and he is counting towards a ratio that isn’t acceptable.

 

[adp]

@megannn1 Depends on the State.

Here in California, you can have unlicensed people help out, but they can't be left alone with the kids.

 

[godisgood2011]

@tdagfg2011 NTA!! I would not be comfortable with this at all and would absolutely report. What if one of the kids has a medical emergency and the adult(s) in charge are literally asleep!? They need to be supervised by at least one adult at ALL times. When the provider is sleeping, they are not caring for your child; you do not have childcare during that time. I don't think you're overreacting at all. The provider and her son are certainly entitled to breaks and can do what they want on those breaks, including a nap, sure, but they can stagger their break times so there is always one of them supervising. BTW, I'm sure you can report this anonymously, no?

 

[mrss]

@tdagfg2011 Hellll no. The people in charge are sleeping? Anything can happen. I barely wanna close my eyes with my
Toddler at home. Much less with multiple
Kids. That’s unsafe. Nothing has happened so far…but that’s by luck.

Report them. They are playing with the safety of everyone’s kids.

 

[adp]

@tdagfg2011 Preschool teacher here.

Hell yeah you report them. Regardless if its a private, public or inhouse school. There is ratio that must be followed.

There must be at least 1 to 2 adults depending on the age range. None of them should be taking naps. You do that on your lunch break.

It is illegal to leave the kids out of ratio without a teacher unless there is an emergency. Napping is not an emergency.

One of your rights as a parent is requesting their school license information. You can find out if they are qualified to have a mixed group of kids and other things.

 

[katrina2017]

@tdagfg2011 Definitely take it seriously, but it could be as simple as the provider saying she’s napping to indicate she’s not available (doing paperwork, holding a fussy younger kid, or cleaning) so the older kids will do quiet independent play. I’m guessing your 8 year old will be able to clarify if they see her laying down and snoring on a couch, if she leaves everyone unattended or if there’s a safe and reasonable alternative.

Don’t get me wrong, there are terrible daycare providers out there and it’s possible, but let’s hope it’s not an obscene level of neglect.