Shall we go from 2 to 3?

@foxyroxy We just did 2-3 - my kids are 6, 3.5, and 5 months. It has been a good transition mostly because I got a generous (for the US) maternity leave and we have a great au pair. The older girls adore the new baby (they do fight with each other though). I'm a little worried about when they all start activities because my six year old already does dance, gymnastics and piano and three year old is in dance and gymnastics too, and shuttling them around especially on weeknights after work can be hard. Definitely try to find the cheap activities close to home!

I also recommend a bigger age gap between 2-3, it has been helpful that my middle was potty trained and oldest was in kindergarten before the third was born.
 
@foxyroxy I’m early in my 3 kid journey; I have a 4, 2, and 7 month old. Transitioning from 1 to 2 was way harder than 2 to 3. I already had all the stuff I needed from my last two kids. I felt like a seasoned mom that could juggle and let go of the small stuff. But, it’s still very hard! I don’t regret it as I always knew I wanted more than 2. Our third completes us and her two older siblings adore her. I wanted to make sure my kids had more power in numbers when me and my husband are gone. I have a great village (mom helps us monthly, sister and BIL both help daily) and I still find it hard. I personally refuse to leave the house solo with all three kids at these ages. I’m only willing to take 2 out of the 3 so that usually means I need someone to watch a kid or I will have to wait until someone can watch all three of I need to take care of something with no kids. People are usually more hesitant to watch all 3 kids versus only watching 2. So summary, pros: transition is easy since we had 2 kids, more love/fun dynamic, siblings will have each other when you are gone. Cons: more thought into logistics of going places, finding babysitting for more kids is difficult, money/resources.
 
@clanofails Seconding the babysitters piece! The transition from 2-3 has been so easy for us but we definitely have struggled to find sitters… I find myself almost feeling guilty asking someone to watch all 3, even though we pay them generously!

That said- go for it! 🙃
 
@foxyroxy Hardest part about 3 vs 2 is that they outnumber you as parents. It’s not super terrible, especially if you have one child older like your oldest would likely be 4 or possibly 5 when you have #3. Once they are in the preschool stage they seem to be so much more helpful. It’s not that difficult honestly. We have 6, 4 bio and 2 that we have custody of that have lived with us for a year. My youngest is 9 and I was so beyond happy to be done with diapers after nearly a decade of having at least one baby in diapers. Having them close together doesn’t feel like you are starting from square one like larger age gaps.
 
@baxter006 Right! Yes, I can totally see that. I get it on the diaper front too. I'm already 35 so while not wanting to rush into 3, also feel like if we're going to do it I'd rather be done changing diapers by 40 (which would be 10 years of diapers for me)
 
@foxyroxy We just had our third 3 months ago … my other two are 5 and 3.5 - he has slotted right in and it has been a joy to see them interact . I am glad we also have a bigger age gap between 2 and 3 as my 3 year old is so much more independent … my first two are 20 ml the apart . While I am loving it now, the first year was hard
 
@heretolong This is helpful thanks! Yes, I'm thinking to wait until at least a 2 yr age gap. My husband likes them closer in age because that's how his family is, but my youngest sibling is 5+ yrs younger than me so I can see how a bigger age gap at the end can be nice though its more total time with babies!
 
@foxyroxy 2-3 was the easiest transition for us. Our boys were 7 and 3 when I had our daughter. It seemed to work that my husband was able to manage the boys and I just had my daughter to focus on in the beginning. I also got it that they’d nap at the same time (on a good day) when it was just me at home during the day. Having them being able to play independently really helped us/ helping out with jobs like baking it takes longer but they love helping out.
 
@katrina2017 Wow, really! Love when they nap at the same time! Yes, this is helpful thanks. Sometimes having an activity that takes longer is ideal! But other days I don't have bandwidth to share that space.
 
@foxyroxy And sometimes it is so much easier to just do it yourself! If i’m feeling like that I set them up in their own space we’re lucky enough to have a playroom, so they’ll go play in there independently or i’ll set up some playdough on the table near the kitchen so they can still see me. Sometimes I roll out the baking paper on the table or floor and get some markers and they draw on there. Outside play and I just sit and watch them with a coffee. As for napping at the same time that feels like an olympic sport somedays!
 
@foxyroxy Why are you outsourcing this to us? This is a deeply personal decision. Whether its difficult or not is irrelevant to the real point: do you want a 3rd or not? If not: don't do it. if you want a 3rd: do it.
 
@t1m It's not outsourcing to ask people about how 2-3 impacted their day-to-day life. Its gathering information. There's plenty of considerations I am not seeking input on but concrete examples on how 3 changes things is useful for me to keep in mind while making my decision.

My fears are not about whether it's difficult. It will be in the short run. I get that! I like hearing the joyful aspects and the chaotic parts too.

It's a big commitment physically, mentally and emotionally to get a baby into existence let alone to school age. So thanks for all the feedback from folks further down the line.
 
@foxyroxy 2-3 was a smooth transition here too, but husband is one of 3 and hated one being left out. So we have 4 now lol They pair off in interesting ways and coming from a home with me and my sister the cross dynamics of 3+ are different in a fun way.
 
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