Schedule for your day?

[new_2_this_b_kind]

Y’all. What is your schedule like? We really would like to have four kids but I can’t imagine how it works. Right now we have an almost 2.5-year-old and a 6-month-old. My husband works during the week and I work weekend evenings from home but my job is so busy with things that need to be done in the next 15 minutes that I barely have time to nurse the baby. I feel like it’s hard sometimes to give both kids enough attention, talk to my parents on the phone (they don’t live nearby), hang out with friends (then I feel like I’m not paying enough attention to my kids), and spend any time alone with my husband, (which I know he wants more of). There’s no time for extra stuff like decorating the baby’s room or making a photo album. I’m trying to switch to a job that would be more flexible but I’d love to see how your routine is and see if there is anything I can incorporate!

 

[rtfguy]

@new_2_this_b_kind It gets easier as kids get older, the older one turning 3 (even more each year) will bring some independence, and the younger one not needing to eat all day helps a ton for getting out more often.

But the biggest shift that I think could help is that your kids don’t need your attention all day. It might take some time to get to a good spot, but aim for 10-30 minutes of solid one-on-one time with each kid (could be playing, cooking together, a walk with one, etc) and feel free to get stuff done the rest of the day. No guilt in hanging with friends or decorating or doing other things while the kids play. It obviously will be more difficult on some days, but the short time of direct one-on-one attention opens up your day considerably.

 

[jtcarrieres]

@new_2_this_b_kind Hahahahahah! Sorry! I have four kids. You won’t have time to do any of the things you suggested.

 

[annemoon]

@jtcarrieres Preach. 4 here also and I'm ~9 years behind, roughly.

 

[marke2]

@new_2_this_b_kind Kids are 8f, 7f, 5m, 4f, 2f, and 4months m. I teach from 12:14-4 (plus a 10-15 minute commute) and my husband is in rabbinical school full-time.

My husband goes to the 6:15ish prayers and gets back around 7 or 7:15 depending on the day.

7:00 - I get up with the kids, get them dressed, breakfast, etc. When my husband gets home, we pack backpacks and lunchboxes. The older girls' bus comes at 8:04. They leave with my husband at 7:59 to walk to the bus stop and he comes back afterwards. Somewhere between 8:30 and 8:45, I leave with the younger bunch for carpool and my husband goes to yeshiva.

Carpool takes 30-40 minutes depending on traffic. I get home with just the baby and put up laundry, clean up breakfast, load and run the dishwasher, sweep, turn on the roomba, fold yesterday's laundry from the dryer, put up supper, pump, and get ready for work. If I have any freelance work waiting (graphic design, photography, or sewing), I'll get started on that in between the around-the-house stuff. I leave to work at 12 and drop the baby off when I pass the daycare on the way.

Big girls' bus drops them off at our corner at 4:15; they walk home and let themselves in, have a snack, and start on their homework. I get home at 4:30ish with the rest of the crew, change, put supper up to warm up, help the 5-year-old with his homework, etc. Supper starts 5/5:15. PJs start at 6/6:30 - I try to go in age order, youngest to oldest, so everyone gets 10-15min alone-with-Mommy time. My husband gets home most nights around bedtime for the younger kids (5,4,2) which is 7ish; the older girls get a little longer to finish up homework but are usually in bed around 7:30-7:45.

When they are in bed, we eat the adult supper and clean up from the day. Some night my husband has night classes at 9; every night has to go out for prayers again (shorter one this time - takes about 15 minutes). I grade any tests/papers and do any hobby stuff I'm in the mood of. If we are feeling organized, we pack kids' snacks/lunches for the next day and go to bed around midnight.

Some days I get up at 5 to go for a run. This schedule works best the weeks that I am organized about planning all my classes on Saturday night. Fridays are half-days at our kids' schools (and I teach alternating Fridays from 8:30-12) so I take all the kids to the public library for 2-4 hours. My husband cooks and cleans for Shabbat with all the kids out of the house.

 

[lyric4him]

@marke2 You have an AMAZING amount of energy!

 

[marke2]

@lyric4him Thanks! It doesn't always feel like that!

 

[marisasa]

@new_2_this_b_kind Our schedule (kids are 6,5,3,1 and I am 27 weeks pregnant):
6 am everyone wake up
6-7 am I feed people and they relax on the couch and watch tv
7:30 big kid drop off (older 2 go to school)
8:15-9 gym, i workout while my younger 2 play in childcare there
9-11 play with younger 2. If we have errands to run, we do that here. Most of the time we play in our back yard or our play room during bad weather
11-12 make/ eat lunch
12-2 youngest 2 nap/ I relax as much as I can
2-3 car line pick up for older 2
3-5 play outside/watch tv/run errands
5-5:30 husband is home and takes a kid or two on a run in the neighborhood while I make dinner
6 dinner
6:30-7 big kids get their 30 min of video game time, we play with little kids
7-8 showers/bath/books/bed
8-10 husband and I relax
10 we go to bed

I go to a mothers or preschoolers group and a moms book club twice a month so that gives me adult friendship and conversation. I’ve found that after 2 kids everyone else just goes along for the ride. And there’s never enough time, regardless of how many kids you have. We moved into a new house almost a year ago and I still haven’t found time to hang pictures… it is what it is at this stage of motherhood but I wouldn’t trade it for anything!

 

[marisasa]

Oh and in terms of giving kids enough attention, we’ve started doing once a month one-on-one dates with each kid so they have that to look forward to. We do it each month on the day of the month they were born so there’s no forgetting who goes when.

 

[roguefriar]

@new_2_this_b_kind I have 4 (2.5 months, 2, 4, and 6) and go back to work from maternity leave next week. It’ll be I wake up and take kids to preschool/kindergarten. Then my mom will watch baby while I work from home. Then one of us will pick up kids. After work I’ll have them solo for about 2 hours before husband gets home. I’ll try to cook during that time but depends on baby. Then we eat and get everybody in bed. I take two, he takes two. Lights out for everyone no later than 7:30 (even baby has been down at that time in the last week or two and it’s lovely). After that I have time alone or we hang together and go to bed. Rinse and repeat Monday through Thursday. Husband works 4 10-hour shifts so he’s off on Fridays and keeps them all himself so I don’t do drop offs or pick ups which is nice. He does little stuff with them before and after school.

Biggest key for me is bedtime. Needs to be early and routine. My kids all have their own bedrooms but the older two wander to find dad overnight often. Hoping to cut that out soon! But overall it works out well for us.

 

[forgiven_ent]

@new_2_this_b_kind I’ve got 4 kids - 14, 9, 12, & 5. Younger 2 are homeschooled. Our days look like this:

Monday- gym @ 5-6 am, home (might lay down for a few minutes), get older boys off to school in the bus, morning routine* (will post below). Homeschool co-op from 10-2:30. On American Heritage girls nights, I make a quick dinner and take the girls to AHG. Get home and it’s bedtime for everyone. Husband and boys usually take care of cleaning the kitchen and dishes (usually).

Tuesdays & Thursdays- gym, get older kids off the school, morning routine, get girls going on their schoolwork (takes an hour or two usually). Lunch. Cleaning and errands. Make dinner. Kids have kitchen chores.

Wednesdays- no gym, same morning routine, my mom comes over and I go to work at 11-8 (or so, I only work when I have appointments scheduled).

Fridays- maybe gym if I can.
I try to get the “Saturday” cleaning done - bathtub, vacuum, do some rotating chores (cleaning the dog, dusting - things I don’t do every single week). Homeschooling the girls, lunch, I go to work from 3:30-8 (again only if I have appointments).

I work every other weekend - the weekends I have off I don’t want to do anything but the bare minimum. I usually make a meal plan and put a pick up order in for after work or after church.

My morning routine is: wipe the counters & do whatever dishes are left to take care of. I take a disinfectant wipe over the counters and the go up to the bathroom and wipe the sink and toilets down (I bought these swifter mop wipes by accident and they are very wet and huge. Just using them in the kitchen seems a waste). I do a quick clean up of the bathroom - picking up clothes, putting toothbrushes away, etc. Check if the toilet needs to be wiped. Take a shower, get dressed.

Once I got to baby 4, I was more flexible on nursing vs formula. She would take a bottle while I was at work. Then if we went out anywhere I’d take a bottle for her.

My husband and I go on a breakfast date twice a month now that my oldest can watch the younger ones. We would still manage a date night once a month or so with family babysitting. We used to do a lot of movie nights in a Friday when the kids were younger. Sometimes now we just get dinner and have a date at home. We feed the kids earlier and let them watch a movie. When the kids were younger, we’d just put them to bed and then have our date at home.