S.O.S. Second baby coming tomorrow and I’m panicking

[rickram]

I’m currently the dad of an 18 month old boy. He is the culmination of all the things I have done in my life. He is my best friend and the reason I wake up in the morning. Tomorrow, my fiancé is being induced with our second(*surprise) baby and I’m really struggling.
We’ve nested and readied ourselves for the arrival of another child. Tonight is our last night as a family of three. What i’m really struggling with is that we are going to the hospital tomorrow. Our son is going to spend his very first night away from home(at his grandparents), without one of his parents. At some point tomorrow I am going to pick up my baby boy, my first born, the most perfect thing I have ever made, I’ll put him down, tell him good bye; We’ll go to the hospital, have a baby, who I’ll hold and will be amazingly tiny and when I pick my boy up I know he is going to feel so heavy. How do I prepare myself for that? How did y’all cope? How do you handle two under two?

 

[eldavid]

@rickram Dad of 2 boys, learning to accept change and things that aren’t in my control. Loved every minute of life as a family of 3, now I love every minute as a family of 4. In a few months you won’t be able to imagine life before your new one came and joined the tribe. Does take a few months to get used to, and maybe a few years before your son adjusts — my 3 yr old is 8 months into brotherhood and just starting to give hugs and kisses - which will inevitably transition to wrestling and brawls soon enough i’m sure, but i’m enjoying the relative softness for now…

Change is the only natural constant of this world, enjoy the moments and remember that the good and the bad moments are all fleeting, just hang in for the ride and try to do some good while we’re here.

 

[threeringedrekeinserah]

@eldavid I know this comment was for OP but it helped me. I have a 3 year old and a 6 week old and I’m struggling this week. I was reminiscing and missing my time as a family 3 with just me, my husband and my daughter. Sleep deprivation is hard and was making me question my choices. Thanks for the reminder that things will get better in few months and I won’t be able to imagine my world without my second baby

 

[fraankky]

@threeringedrekeinserah Same I’m 38 weeks pregnant and I feel so sad about the fact that my daughter will have to share us and how hard it’ll be in the beginning

 

[rufus1963]

@fraankky 32 weeks and feeling the same. My daughter deserves us all to herself! I know it will be sweet to watch her become a big sister (just today she kissed her baby doll on the forehead), but I'm still mourning what has been.

 

[robert_w]

@rufus1963 35 weeks and same. I can’t understand how it’s possible to love another like I already love my son. He’s 3 and absolutely perfect. It’s hard to imagine I’ll be able to strike gold twice. We are no doubt excited for our new boy but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t in my feels about not having my world revolve just around my oldest.

 

[jacob131612]

@eldavid This. I have three boys. 9, 5 and 1. Bringing another was never easier. But holy cow seeing them be big brothers and how much the little one loves them is always amazing. You think there isn’t enough room in your heart but your heart just actually grows.

 

[nielsjuel1983]

@jacob131612 I needed to see this comment. I'm currently pregnant with number 3 and feeling a great deal of guilt about it and being able to be a good mom to everyone.

 

[justvisitingrealquick]

@eldavid This is a perfect comment. Three years after the transition, we’re having another, and our oldest loves being a big brother so much that he can’t wait to do it again.

 

[thanhcongk83]

@eldavid I’m bawling at this comment. Pregnancy hormones I swear. I’ve been worried about the same things as OP. Thank you.

 

[ronald_lee1472]

@thanhcongk83 My older kid was the first person who ever made her little brother laugh. She came home from preschool and went up to him to talk to him, and he saw her and was so happy he laughed. She was so proud of herself and absolutely loves that story, and she loves being a big sister. Giving her a baby brother was the best gift we’ve ever given her - and she was so attached to me I thought she’d have a hard time sharing. But she just really truly loves her baby.

 

[thanhcongk83]

@ronald_lee1472 Wow. That’s amazing and so sweet. My toddler girl is extremely attached to me and I just worry that she’ll feel neglected when her new baby boy sibling comes. Thank you so much for sharing. I’m hoping this will be us too!

 

[ronald_lee1472]

@thanhcongk83 You’ll all do great! One thing I love to do is snuggle them both really tightly at the same time and say “I love snuggling my two wonderful babies. I’m so happy we’re a family.” Things like that to bond and connect with them both at the same time.

 

[thanhcongk83]

@ronald_lee1472 I love that and will definitely do the same. Thank you so much for sharing your experience and wisdom with me!

 

[intheend]

@rickram Just want to say what you've written is so lovely and encapsulates what fatherhood should be.

 

[needingtruth]

@intheend yes this is exactly what i was going to say!!

 

[childofgod1977]

@intheend

 

[thetreehugger12345]

@rickram Not to take away from the poetry of your post, but I was shocked at how big my toddler’s butt was on my first diaper change after only changing the newborns for a bit. But yes, I remember picking my toddler up before going into labor later that night. I had started feeing contractions and he seemed a bit fussy going down to sleep so I practically raced in to soothe him one last time as the two of us. Scooping him up and singing our song felt more poignant. Like a goodbye to the life we were living. Something new was about to happen, and now, holding my newborn on my chest while he sleeps, I know it’s a beautiful change. My heart has grown, and there’s more love in my household than ever.

 

[jesswyersblessing]

@thetreehugger12345 The first diaper change ahhaaha! Also made me realize we need to potty train asap because those were some adult looking poops

 

[jack1998]

@rickram 2 girls - 18mo gap. Yes your elder one feels so big when you come home. It’s tough initially, divide and conquer was our motto. And then it becomes easier.. and as the kids start playing together it feels worth it. Mine are almost 3yo and 4.5yo and sometimes it’s just dealing with one multi- headed tornado.. but the giggles and the cuddles and crazy games keep us entertained