S-M-E-P F-A-I-L

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resurgam

New member
I am officially in awe of the couples who manage to complete SMEP! This is our first time trying it (first cycle after MC; SMEP originally was designed for post-MC cycles), and I really thought we could do it without too much trouble.

Husband has a pretty good libido, and what I lack for in libido, I more than make up for with my goal-orientedness. I explained the plan to my husband and he was very enthusiastic. We agreed, we were all in this cycle (this is our first Femara cycle, unmonitored). Even so, our schedules did not align well during my fertile week, and we missed O day (yesterday) because he was out late, while I fell asleep by 9pm.

So far, we hit: CD 12, 14, 16 and 17. I am pretty sure I ovulated CD 18 (last night) based on temp spike, CM tracking, OPK, and cramps.

That means we hit O-4, O-2, O-1, and hopefully will DTD tonight and get O+1. It helps that it's a Friday, for sure. Weekdays are tough!

I keep reminding myself that we conceived our first with a single BD on O-2.

Overall, I'm happy with our timing, but I really wanted to get O day, and complete SMEP as written. It's just hard. For those of you who have been trying SMEP for multiple cycles, I salute you. I think I may switch to EOD after this. We'll see.
 
@resurgam I'm sorry for your loss.

I thought our libidos were good and mine gets higher when I have more sex but SMEP was sooooo difficult especially since I o around CD18-22.

Sometimes I read about sex every day of a cycle and it makes me tired.
 
@resurgam Dude, SMEP is hard. It sounded fine on paper but we’ve never been able to make it work in practice. We end up burning out before O, so we do a “modified” SMEP. Start having sex every few days after AF to keep sperm fresh. Once I️ get a “high” reading on my Advanced OPK, every other day. Once I️ get a positive, three days in a row (if schedule allows).

Even then it’s hard.
 
@resurgam Wowee, with all that amazingly-timed BD, I would hardly call that a fail. :D O-2 especially seems like a fantastic day to hit!

But if you are an A-type personality, I can see how it feels like fail to miss one day, hahaha.
 
@resurgam It seems so easy to plan to have sex every day or every other day. DH and I have pretty similar libidos and I think if you asked either of us our ideal frequency we'd say every day. Then reality hits and both of us are just tired sometime and want the other to do all the work. So basically it comes down to both of us wanting it every day but only wanting to take the initiative every other day or so.
 
@resurgam We tried SMEP this cycle too. From my understanding, it’s every other day until positive OPK then that day, the next, and the day after, then skip a day and do it once more. We did that except hubby couldn’t finish on continuous day 3. I think that is extremely hard to have sex every day, even if it’s “only” 3 consecutive days. I look at some women’s calendars and they have sex every day. Nope. Not me!
 
@resurgam Wanted to do SMEP too! And failed. Lol but EOD should do the trick! It just sucks failing at anything, and I’m sure I’ll blame that for my BFN at the end of the cycle
 
@traveler100 Yes, that’s exactly my problem as well. I’ll undoubtedly blame myself for not sticking to the plan. But that’s so silly. Let’s try (hard) to not blame ourselves if we don’t get BFPs this cycle. We are good people, and we are doing our best!
 
@resurgam If SMEP is going to work for us, it will be this cycle (#12) which is, coincidentally, the first time trying SMEP. DH doesn't even know we are trying it. We BD'd on CD10, just coincidentally. Today is day 12 and all signs are pointing to O very soon (I usually O on the early side, thank god). After I get out of work this morning, I have the next 3 nights off so we will actually see each other for BD'ing. Usually our schedules don't intersect at fertile time.
 
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