r/SAHPadvicePlz

@josho Your husband should be giving you your own spending money each month.

We have a joint account which he puts in money to cover bills, groceries etc. Then he puts money into my personal account for me to spend however I want, he doesn’t care. Tbh I don’t want much for myself so a lot of it goes on kid stuff or things for the house/garden (but that’s also like “hobby” stuff for me). If I need a bit more he gives it to me no questions asked.

I also have my own savings account which obvs doesn’t get added to but it’s there in case anything happens and I need a lot of money for something. I did have to explain to my partner why I need that money because otherwise he wanted to put it towards the mortgage. He understood once I explained it, he doesn’t think that way about a lot of things (being prepared for emergencies).

If your partner won’t even give you $200 for yourself then I’d be having a sit down talk with him about finances. If he still doesn’t come around then I’d reconsider the relationship tbh.
 
@josho I know a few hairdressers that work in their homes. They do Saturdays and their husband takes the kids out or an evening or two. Bringing in any money is better than not and there's no salon fees.
 
@josho SAHM of an 18 month old. We've been together since 19 though and we're 37 now. We've both always had cards to everything.

This, in my opinion, is abusive and unfair. I would not stand for it personally. You have to put your debts first but there's no way in hell I wouldn't have access to money at all times.

For better or worse, for richer and poorer. It's our money. Not my husband's.
 
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