Question about main language in extended family

[purnhart]

My partner and I are both native in the main language spoken in our country, it's the language we speak between us, and what all our families speak.
Apart from that, I grew up in the U.S. so I speak English on a native level. Many people in our country have terrible English so I'm very very sure I want to speak to our child in English (luckily my partner has really good English - he'll be speak the other language but he will understand everything) .

Here's the question: both our families speak in our native language. As someone who grew up bilingual, I find it incredibly weird to speak to my parents in English, even though they are both fluent. It's just not the language I speak to them. How weird will I find it to speak to my children in a language that no one else in my family speaks? I'm thinking of family dinners and things like that

 

[kingdomconsul]

@purnhart Granted, we have more languages in the mix and that adds another level of not-understanding to it: If I was strictly OPOL during family dinners, I would have to repeat/translate everything. Same with my partner and family. That is too annoying imho, so we switch to the "family language" for these events and sprinkle in more language exposure (books, songs, 1on1 time etc) for the other language.

 

[made]

@purnhart My husband speaks his native language to our child, around me and my English speaking family who don't understand it. It's totally natural.

 

[purnhart]

@made I guess my worry is that it's not my native language. I speak it natively, but speaking it around my family feels weird?

 

[made]

@purnhart I see what you mean - I suppose if you use English with your child from birth, it will be their native language (or one of them), so maybe will feel natural. You'll just have to try it and see!

 

[johnnyhudson]

@purnhart There's nothing wrong with using English while you're at home and your native language with your child around family. Unless you live in a household with your extended family the amount of time you'll spend together is small and won't influence your child's language acquisition.

It also teaches the child we have to be flexible and different folks speak different languages. There's nothing bad about it.

 

[aldredian]

@purnhart I get what you mean. I can't bring myself to speak English with my parents.

But you can continue speaking your native tongue with your family and just English with your kids. You'll probably get used to it after a while.