@cal We have a brand new driver. We are in Texas in DFW - not sure if that matters. Last summer, he started the drivers ed program and held his permit for 6 months. He got his license about a month ago. We were fortunate that we had a vehicle to pass down to him but it’s an old vehicle. If something happens to it, it won’t be devastating. We don’t owe anything on it.
I was very nervous about him going out on his own. We live in a busy suburb only about 10 min from one of the busiest highways in the metroplex so this has me the most worried. My husband did most of the driving with him since I have a lot of anxiety and fortunately, he seems to be a pretty good driver. Knock on wood - nothing wild has happened. Double knock on wood.
Our rules are these:
Follow all laws which includes no more than 1 unrelated passenger under 18. This may be the biggest issue because everyone wants and needs a ride at this age. Kids are always giving rides but we had to put our foot down on this one. He doesn’t give rides to anyone whose parents haven’t talked to us about it. They have to ok the ride or else it can’t happen. I find that it deters them from asking him because they don’t want the parents involved.
He’s only allowed to fill up once every two weeks so that means he has to watch how far he drives. School is less than a mile from home so he shouldn’t have any issues keeping the miles down. He doesn’t have a job right now because of sports and school but will have a job in the summer and then he can buy his own gas and drive as much as he wants.
We do have life 360 and we also have find my iPhone location sharing. This isn’t really an issue - he has never balked at the gps - he likes having our locations just as much as we like having his. You can’t trust life 360 to gage speed. I find that it’s inaccurate at times and can cause tension if you can’t prove it was accurate or not. State Farm has a device you can add to the car for good driving discounts. I don’t think you would have access to it but her knowing it’s there and someone is monitoring should help.
His curfew is the city curfew. 11 on week nights and midnight on weekends.
Cellphone - if we find out he has texted or has been distracted while driving, then he will lose one - the phone or the vehicle. We have talked and talked and talked about this. We also practice what we preach and model no distraction behavior when we are driving. I admit that I do mess with my screens and radio etc when driving so I’ve really worked at cutting back. We got him a cup holder that holds the phone. This isn’t intended for him to use while driving but it keeps the phone in one place so there is no chance of him having to dig for it or it flying around causing distractions. His vehicle doesn’t have a screen or a back up camera or CarPlay etc. I just hope that he has listened and obeys. This isn’t something we can control but we can just harp about the dangers and hope he listens.
We have restricted his highway driving to when we are with him. He’s ok with this too since we can take city streets nearly everywhere. The highway makes him a bit nervous and he hasn’t attempted to venture on his own. We do encourage him to drive the highway when he is with dad to get experience. Otherwise, only back roads.
I think it’s important to let them have some slack in the leash. My son drives the long way home (again he has to watch his miles and gas) but I am reminded how much I loved to drive at his age and I would go go go for hours and my parents had no idea where I was. The more driving around he does, the better he gets at driving. The more experience he has, the better off he will be. Accidents happen and it’s important to teach them how to handle accidents than to try to prevent them or to control them.
I found that an older car kept our insurance rates down. He has cheaper insurance than his older sister who has a newer car.
When she started driving, she was 18. She didn’t want to drive so we were kind of lucky that we didn’t have to deal with this when she was in school. I finally had to force her to get her license when she was about to start college. I reminded her that they don’t have a drop off line at college lol He has been the better driver. She’s had a few accidents - not necessarily her fault but she has already had a totaled car which is why she has a newer car now. Once the one we provided was totaled, it was on her to buy the next one. We didn’t have any rules for her at 18. And she hates driving so she doesn’t unless she has to.
