Overeating if not bed sharing

[mary7]

Reworded post:

I’m curious to know if anyone else experienced similar.

Between 6 & 7 m.o., my (now almost 8 m.o.) LO demonstrated intense separation anxiety and we started bed sharing. After this, she magically started sleeping through the night (we were told this typically happens around 6 months).

We are ready to transition her back to the crib, and when we tried tonight she woke up at 11 PM screaming. I wasn’t sure if she needed her paci (as she typically did in our bed), if she wanted our bed, if she needed a snuggle, or if she was hungry (which I thought was unlikely because she hadn’t eaten in the MOTN for over a month). Turned out she was hungry, because when I brought her to our bed she didn’t settle. I fed her. And she settled back to sleep.

Did anyone else try to transition to the crib and notice increased wakings/feedings? My LO has tummy trouble (all addressed with her doc) and when we add MOTN feeds she vomits, gets reflux, and extreme discomfort with gas.

Original post:
I’m curious to know if anyone else experienced similar.

Between 6 & 7 m.o., my (now almost 8 m.o.) LO demonstrated intense separation anxiety and we started bed sharing. Up to that point she was still not making it through the night without both a 9 PM and a 4 AM bottle (approximately) and thus, she was eating about 9 oz too many each day. This immediately resolved when we started bed sharing. We are ready to transition her back to the crib, and when we tried tonight she woke up at 11 PM screaming until we fed her. We even tried just bringing her into our bed and it was a no go without the bottle. Which means today she overate. When she wakes in our bed, she is easily soothed just by popping her pacifier back in. Is this common? I never hear this mentioned but it must be some sort of self soothing she doesn’t feel the need for in our bed.

ETA: poor wording on my part. I should not have used the word “overeating” or dove so far into specifics of ounces. I track her food, diapers, and sleep, and the food portion helps me a lot to know when she will be hungry next during the day based on how much she ate. It also helps me track stomach discomfort for the doc. As a mom of a baby with never ending tummy trouble, I probably used the wrong words to describe my situation. My baby has never been restricted from food, I was just worried about her comfort, her sleep, and her development, and observing that the needs were different in different sleeping environments. As stated in the comments she has extreme discomfort with gas, vomiting, reflux, etc. I’ve discussed all of this with a doctor, but that’s where the ounces and “norms” come in, and I wanted to hear from fellow moms. Idk, I’m hardly functioning right now. Clearly since so many had a similar reaction I misspoke. I just wanted to help her sleep through the night.

 

[thanksyoueel]

@mary7 I followed my baby's cues to feed her from day one because she's a human baby not a product manufactured on an assembly line that comes with a manual to follow. Counting ounces and worrying about an 8 month old eating "too much" does not sound beneficial to the baby.

 

[samtheman]

@mary7 Please don’t police your baby’s food. They have growth spurts and need the energy, they move around more on some days, their brains develop faster sometimes and it all needs energy. Baby’s need calories at night sometimes, their brains work night shifts and burn through their calorie intake in no time. If your child is hungry, you feed them. Let them move around, be active in your day to day life. Don’t restrict their food.

 

[orobos76]

@mary7 Do you eat the exact same amount of food every day or does it vary? Are you more hungry some days than others? So is your baby. I wouldn’t police OZ that your baby drinks because your baby is a human with changing needs. Please follow your baby’s hunger cues and feed her when she is showing that she is hungry.

 

[rachellee]

@mary7 You cannot overfeed a baby. If she’s crying, has a bottle and then is content, that means she was hungry. Stop counting ounces and feed your baby when she shows you signs that she’s hungry!!!!

 

[mary7]

@rachellee I do feed her when she shows signs that she’s hungry. I’m going to edit my post because my messaging must have been poor.

 

[rachellee]

@mary7 I apologize if I came off harsh, however your original post had me a bit concerned. You were asking for advice and I didn’t give it so for that I am sorry. I know being a FTM is scary, it’s a learning experience for mom AND baby. I’ve had three kids, however I never bottle fed, all three only ate from the breast, so tracking ounces is not something I am familiar with. That is why, to me, there is no such thing as overeating or having x ounces too many. If they were upset, I put them to the breast and let them eat. It may have been for 5 minutes or 30 minutes. I let them go until they were content. I understand your LO has tummy troubles and you’re following the guidance of your doctor, so maybe this is something you can discuss at your next appointment. Is she eating solids as well?

 

[mary7]

@rachellee Thank you. My doctor hears from me a lot lately, we’re on it! She is eating solids, and so far had a reaction to oats and another reaction that was a mystery. Going to an allergist next. It’s good to know my initial concern of her waking in the MOTN to eat is a nonissue.

 

[ckell19]

@mary7 I'm not judging here, but gently... How do you know your baby is "overeating?" You're talking about the number of oz being eaten rather than any symptoms of overeating you're noticing, and I think that's where people in the comments are concerned. It's pretty unusual for a baby to actually overeat, and restricting calories isn't recommended. Every baby is different, and ~40 oz is within the realm of what could be reasonable for a baby her age. The amount of calories she needs can vary due to many factors -- some of which may be related to her sleeping on her own, for example burning more calories to stay warm, changes to her sleep cycle such as restless sleep or more wakes, etc. Eating to soothe herself may also be part of the equation, but it would still be unlikely for her to significantly overeat (and that tends not to be very soothing). If you are noticing tummy issues or something, this would be better discussed with her doctor but it could be an issue of too much too fast and a change in bottle/nipple might help.

 

[mary7]

@ckell19 This was so helpful, thank you! I think I speak in oz because that’s how all of the doctors and articles do. When I see her happy at 35 oz, miserable at 41, and the doc says target is ~29, I get nervous that something is amiss.

I know it’s a balance between medical advice and reality, but it’s hard to know what reality is supposed to look like as a first time mom. I had no idea it was abnormal to track ounces as someone who has been doing it from her being below the .1 percentile after birth to now the 75th percentile (I’m so proud of her!). The tracking also helps me know how to adjust her schedule for when she will be hungry next based on how much she ate.

I’m glad to know it is within the normal realm. Yes, she is a baby with CMPA, reflux and vomiting, and has awful discomfort with gas. This has all been addressed with a doctor and we also got referred to an allergist today for mysterious allergic reactions on her face.

Anywho, I’ll just continue on and go with the flow. It seems like that’s the message behind everyone’s advice.

 

[ckell19]

@mary7 That makes total sense! And reality is a little different for every baby, it can be very difficult as a first time mom, and that's ok. My baby also had a bit of a struggle at first, and the docs were all about length and frequency of nursing plus oz of formula supplementation, so it was something I thought about all the time. So happy for you and your baby that she has gotten her weight up so well! And if tracking helps you plan for her that's great!

I'm sorry you and your baby are going through so much. Hopefully the allergist will be able to shed some light on the new reaction. My baby also had terrible gas, constipation, and vomiting when she was younger, although no allergies or sensitivities were ever discovered. We had to change the formula we supplemented with a few times before finding one she could somewhat tolerate, and I worried about her constantly. In our case she got a little better when she stopped needing the formula and a lot better when she started trying solid foods. No idea how much was the change in diet vs her just growing up and her digestive system getting more developed.

I hope things get easier on your little one soon, and in the meantime a big yes to going with the flow, listening to her doctor, and doing what works for you and your baby. It sounds like you're doing a great job.

 

[mary7]

@ckell19 Thank you . My head was spinning last night after this post.

 

[mary7]

Woah these comments were a bit tense. Ive never restricted how much she ate. 41 oz puts a lot of stress on her tummy is all…

 

[samtheman]

@mary7 I saw your update. Being a FTM is sometimes scary and hard.
Sleeping through the night for infants is difficult, their brains need so much energy, they often have to eat something because their stomach is to small to get through the night. Sleeping through the night for a child under the age of 2 is waking in to feed and/or pee in the night and going right back to bed per definition in my country.
You said your baby is gassy, having allergies and stuff. Have you heard of elimination communication? It helps tremendously with gas and tummy aches and pains. We started after one horrific night of stomach problems and they never reoccurred, so it might be worth a shot.

Why are you trying to transition to crib? Is bedsharing a problem? If baby sleeps through the night, without a problem, why not keep it as long as it benefits you as it gives you a full night of sleep and snuggles and baby’s obviously enjoys being close.

 

[mary7]

@samtheman Thanks for the info and tip!

My husband and I miss our time hanging out between the baby going to sleep and us going to sleep. We’re like passing ships right now.

Our baby is too mobile and our bed too high for her to be upstairs alone and rely on us hearing/seeing her on the monitor and running upstairs as fast as we can. She’s also a light sleeper, so we feel like we can’t move or breathe all night. So basically, right now we’re all (or at least 2 of us) going to bed at like 7 PM. Which works for me during the week since I work early, but on the weekends we were just hoping to get some quality time. It didn’t work though, so we are continuing to bedshare for now. The sleep and snuggles are worth it.

 

[samtheman]

@mary7 Would the height of your bed still be a problem if you put your mattress on the floor? Are you able to roll away when baby is asleep?

My baby is a deep sleeper and she is used to waking up alone in our bed. So I am able to sneak out for some couple time and connecting with husband. I wait 20-30 minutes for baby to get to deep sleep, they will get better at connecting sleep cycles as they age, so keep trying even if baby wakes up quite frequently for now.

Another way to get some time for the two of you would be to hire a sitter or ask the grandparents if they would be up to watching baby an afternoon on the weekends. You could do a coffee date or get lunch or something
Good luck and enjoy the snuggles!

 

[samtheman]

@mary7 Would the height of your bed still be a problem if you put your mattress on the floor? Are you able to roll away when baby is asleep?

My baby is a deep sleeper and she is used to waking up alone in our bed. So I am able to sneak out for some couple time and connecting with husband. I wait 20-30 minutes for baby to get to deep sleep, they will get better at connecting sleep cycles as they age, so keep trying even if baby wakes up quite frequently for now.

Another way to get some time for the two of you would be to hire a sitter or ask the grandparents if they would be up to watching baby an afternoon on the weekends. You could do a coffee date or get lunch or something
Good luck and enjoy the snuggles!

 

[samtheman]

@mary7 Would the height of your bed still be a problem if you put your mattress on the floor? Are you able to roll away when baby is asleep?

My baby is a deep sleeper and she is used to waking up alone in our bed. So I am able to sneak out for some couple time and connecting with husband. I wait 20-30 minutes for baby to get to deep sleep, they will get better at connecting sleep cycles as they age, so keep trying even if baby wakes up quite frequently for now.

Another way to get some time for the two of you would be to hire a sitter or ask the grandparents if they would be up to watching baby an afternoon on the weekends. You could do a coffee date or get lunch or something
Good luck and enjoy the snuggles!

 

[cherylf1]

@mary7 They're a baby, the comments are 'tense' because it sounds like you're projecting terrible eating habits on a small human who at this age is still living purely off instinct. If your baby says they're hungry, they're hungry and you should feed them. You asked for advice and you got it, feed your baby.

 

[mary7]

@cherylf1 I’m not projecting terrible eating habits, maybe others are jumping to that conclusion or I didn’t provide enough context. When I say “overate” I mean for her stomach. She gets miserable when she eats more than 35 oz per day. Doctor recommended we float around 29 oz, so when she ate 41 the other night I was worried. That doesn’t mean I withhold it or judge her, holy moly. What an assumption…I feed her every time she tells me she is hungry. The advice I was asking for was related to her seemingly not being able to make it through the night outside of our bed, which every single doctor I’ve talked to and article I have read has said by this age they are typically able to sleep through the night…without a MOTN feed. So, I was hoping for some support and guidance (or even kind reassurance that her needing this was normal). I will bet every mom in the world has done problem solving when their baby cries at night (do they need their paci, a hug, food, my bed…). But yikes, lesson learned. I’ll let myself out.