Non-native, non-heritage fluent 2nd language - OLOP?

[asaithambi]

New here so apologies if this has been answered before, but I’d love to get opinions. I’m expecting my first child and am English, but speak German fluently (studied at school + university and lived in Germany for 4.5years before moving back to the UK in 2020). I speak accent-free and understand perfectly, am able to work in German on projects regularly at my job and two of my best friends are German, so we visit often. But my grammar is lazy - I use DeepL to improve my formal emails and in speaking definitely don’t have perfect genders/declensions… I just use instinct and don’t think about it.
My husband understands German but isn’t great with languages.

When I expressed interest in OPOL, my German friend told me not to bother as it’d “be bad for the child”, but what is the consensus? Is she right?
We’d travel to Germany often and the baby would likely have a German godparent but I have no cultural/heritage connection to the country so I’m worried about being “weird”. I just grew up always jealous of kids of had headstarts with being raised bilingual and I’d love to give my child that if I can.

Thanks!

 

[barsomo]

@asaithambi If you are fluent, I don’t see an issue. You also have time to start consuming more German music, podcasts, books, media etc. before the arrival of your child which will activate your German in a different way. Note that not all native speakers speak German perfectly either! If your husband understands the language then OPOL is going to be that much easier.

Good luck!

 

[pastornick]

@asaithambi Nope one parent one language is absolutely a viable way to pass on any language. I am the example of this and I say go for it!!! I am a non native French speaker with a 2.5 year old and a newborn and have only been speaking French to my oldest since she was born. I'm based in the US and have no other contact really with French culture outside of what I make for us. (Books, TV shows, movies, songs, etc). I am in the same boat of being jealous of kids who had another language at home, and I want to give my kids exactly that.

I have my master's in French second language acquisition and there are a number of studies out there I could give you. You should read anything published by Ellen Bialystok on bilingualism and cognition. She is THE person to look at for research saying, for example, that bilingual students out perform monolingual students in every subject. There is no such thing as a language being bad for someone (in normal circumstances, outside of trauma I mean). Just think about the rest of the world. I have a friend who grew up in Rwanda who spoke french at school, kinrwandan and 2 other languages at home and with his family. The fallacious arguments about bilingualism being a deficit for anyone has been long debunked.

Go for it. It's worth it!!!! I love that fact that my daughter speaks French. You will have a much bigger advantage than I have two in that you can travel there often, have friends and work in the language. Best of luck! And if you need any tips or anything just let me know. It's not easy! But it's very rewarding.

 

[snervel]

@pastornick I would love to chat with you. I’m in the same situation in the US now with a young baby. What resources do you use to teach your kids French other than just speaking with them?

 

[aldredian]

@asaithambi Just do it. And maybe brush up on your grammar more in the meantime.

People can be such purists.

I say don't let perfection get in the way of progress.

 

[asaithambi]

@aldredian I’m at a point where there is no brushing up in me if I’m brutally honest…
I’m always up for learning new words and take note when my emails get slightly corrected when I check them, but I’m so comfortably fluent I don’t imagine how I could sit and study any more grammar. Maybe if the kid sticks to German and we get into school-level then I can actually work through more difficult concepts with them, but I honestly don’t see myself doing anything before then and don’t want to lie to myself either.

So yea that’s where I question, does it matter if I’m not 100% perfect if I’m 95%?

 

[aldredian]

@asaithambi I'll put it this way. Not even native English speakers have perfect grammar.

Go for it.

 

[angelbo737]

@asaithambi Do it! It’s ok if you make some mistakes, being bilingual is a gift. You can get better as you go and supplement by reading German language books, singing/listening to kids songs in German and when your kid is old enough, educational tv programs in German.

I recommend the book The Bilingual Edge. It dispels a lot of myths around the downsides of being bilingual - research shows many reasons why it’s a good thing.

 

[atigreg]

@asaithambi I do this exact thing. My thinking is that it changes the way that the neural pathways develop and that even if he doesn't get full fluency from me, it will be dramatically easier for him to learn later. Consuming kids media in German will help with grammar and vocabulary, and you can seek out other German parents in your area by asking in your local parents group on Facebook, so that your little one is exposed to adult spoken German as well as other children whose parents are native speakers. Getting German language Tonies (which should be relatively easy in the UK) is a fabulous way to get songs and stories in German, as well.

 

[asaithambi]

@atigreg Ok this is great to hear! The tip about finding local German families is a really good shout as well, I live in a small city so would be shocked if there’s not people around!!

 

[lokeangirl]

@asaithambi There was a somewhat similar post about this not too long ago:

https://www.reddit.com/r/multilingualparenting/comments/18mlttb/is_it_more_beneficial_or_harmful_to_speak_to_your

The comment by @relle25 stood out to me. Obviously your German is better than the OPs French in the post linked above, so I would say as long as you brush up on your German grammar, then I don't see too many issues with not speaking your non-native language to your kid. But if anything exposure to German in other ways would be good. Books, music, tv shows etc.

 

[asaithambi]

@lokeangirl Yeah I read this but think there’s obviously a huge difference between someone who wants to learn French and myself who has spoken German for 20 years and is basically C2 just not “perfect”…

 

[datak]

@asaithambi Hey there OP I am kind of in the same boat here. Except I am NOT a native of my 2nd language. I'm more of a A2/B1 so still learning.

We enrolled my daughter into a Spanish immersion daycare. I speak to her in the spanish I am sure of but if there is a hint of doubt I switch to English. Her first word after mama and Dada was Pato, then Agua, ow, bye, hi, oh dear, oh no, up, and we think one is I love you or Adios( it's hard to tell that one) in that order. She's 16 months. She understands spanish a lot better than english, especially when I make sure to use the same words the daycare has used, but speaks more English.

We also only do Bluey and all media in spanish in my house. But the minute I am not comfortable in what I would have to say I switch to English.

My advice, get a daycare that can do your target language and just try your best. Worst case scenario they get told something is off when they are older. But they will know more German than me (someone who hasn't studied it).