Non M-F 9-5 workers, how hard is working holidays/weekends?

[infomommax]

I’m a nurse and plan to go part time back to bedside after working a regular 9-5 schedule (for the most part) for over 4 years. For a short time, I did 3 12 hour shifts during the week which was a dream except for the on call, so I know I like the long days but less days more.

But I’m worried about the FOMO for weekends/holidays. Now is the time while I have young kids who won’t remember. Obviously we will just celebrate Christmas or Thanksgiving on a different day, but I still dread it.

 

[katrina2017]

@infomommax I am not a shift worker but my husband was. As the at home spouse, I hated and loved it. I hated it that we could never do things as a family on the weekends and most activities are weekend based. So I was often doing those fun family activities alone. Which sucked. BUT, I really enjoyed having my husband home on a random Wednesday because when we did go out for family activities, places were generally pretty quiet because most of families were at work. I know this isn't really what you're asking, but I gave an answer anyway because I do what I want. (I'm joking here, in case that wasn't clear)

Also, for holidays.. my extended family was never very kind about us having to celebrate on different days. Like we would celebrate Christmas on December 28th because it was usually a safe bet that my husband would be able to take that day off. My family though would make shitty comments or they wouldn't be interested in celebrating on a different day. So that also sucked but I think that's more a family thing rather than a shift worker thing.

 

[infomommax]

@katrina2017 It sounds particularly hard as the spouse! It will be every 3rd weekend and I believe 2-3 out of the six major holidays a year. It’s worth it, because it’s how I can afford to be part time and get more time at home but the down sides definitely suck. My MIL will probably still do holidays on the holiday, but my family has never cared so maybe I’ll luck out with that anyway lol.

 

[katrina2017]

@infomommax Every 3rd weekend sounds kind of amazing. My husband was working 3 out of 4 weekends. I think your set up will still be an adjustment for you guys, but honestly... very workable.

 

[infomommax]

@katrina2017 Oh yeah, I don’t think I could give up that many weekends! The days I work will be rough, but overall I know it will be better to have someone at home 5 days a week.

Hope your husband found a job with more preferable hours!

 

[klangl01]

@infomommax I’m a pharmacist. I like weekend second shifts. I still get to do activities with the kids all morning then take off for work during their nap time. Half my shift is when they’re already in bed for the night anyway so they only miss me for about 4-5 hours. I also get that weekend differential. Working christmas eve second shift wasn’t so bad. If I have to work holidays next year I’ll probably opt for the overnight so I won’t miss anything, I’ll just be tired.

 

[infomommax]

@klangl01 Thank you! I look forward to weekend differential again, the pay is definitely better with the odd shifts.

 

[maujeephoto]

@infomommax I’m a nurse but moved away from bedside before having kids. But! One of my coworkers really put it in an interesting perspective (not sure if this applies to you though). She didn’t love her in laws, they were fine but she didn’t prefer spending a ton of time with them but didn’t want to deny her kids and her husband time with them. So they had time together when she worked. Oh no, dinner this Sunday I have to work, you all enjoy without me! Same for holidays with their side of the family. Just an interesting unintended benefit if there are group activities you don’t want to participate in, it could be a good excuse!

 

[syrak]

@infomommax Also a nurse, but in home care, not bedside. I really don’t mind working holidays and weekends. They’re less busy than regular days and I’m often on my own. My mom and mother in law are also nurses, so we rarely celebrate holidays on the exact days. My husband has holidays and weekends off, so it’s nice for childcare for him to be home.

 

[rachelsarah]

@infomommax I work bedside, days, 3x12. I used to work a regular healthcare administration 9-5 with my first child before going into nursing. Had my second kid recently. It’s not terrible, especially since I’m used to a standard five day workweek and feeling like everything is crammed into the weekends. Now that I work three 12s, it allows more time for me to do things during the standard workweek, like go on field trips for my kid’s school, or attend those horribly planned school performances that always get scheduled in the middle of the morning on a weekday.

Yes it sometimes sucks to work on Saturday knowing your family gets to sleep in and enjoy the nice weather, but I feel like the days off more than make up for it. It also allows for more me time, I send the baby off to daycare on weekdays that I’m off and use that time to work out, run errands, and enjoy some time to myself. Holidays aren’t too terrible so far, we just schedule things around my work schedule. It’s also infinitely better now that I work days. I used to work nights and that made holidays and weekends even more rough.

 

[infomommax]

@rachelsarah Thank you! I plan to send the kids to daycare and enjoy two “off” days during the weeks I only work the weekend.

There’s definitely a lot of benefits, I’ve always preferred longer days and less of them but I can see getting down when I miss out.

 

[shamarc]

@infomommax I work in hospitality. My husband does too. We try to take our days off the same days mid week, which works well because they’re less busy days. It does suck cause we can’t take vacations during busy season—so places we want to go during warmer weather (for example Yellowstone or Glacier) we are SOL.

 

[sjh22]

@infomommax You make it work. I'm sad whenever I have to miss a bedtime etc, but I also get to be there for morning playgroup and doctor's appointments etc. I'm luckier than most because I can technically make my own schedule most of the time so I try to plan around the important things. The Christmas/holiday thing can be hard. I prioritize the holidays that are important to me. IE I won't work Christmas morning which means saving my PTO, swapping for a different holiday, etc. I usually work Thanksgiving and New Years so I can be home on Xmas morning.

 

[risenart]

@infomommax My mom is a nurse and often worked holidays when I was a kid. When we were little little, she would usually work overnight on Xmas Eve and then just stay up long enough for us to do presents. Or take the Xmas afternoon shift and leave after presents. Then as we got older, she's do the morning shift so that parents with littles could have the mornings with their kids and we would just do presents the night before. My grandparents would come when it suited them and it didn't really matter if she was there or not. It worked out well and my Christmas memories aren't ruined or anything. It was just our normal and I am grateful that she was able to be there.

The rest of the holidays were kind of whatever and we'd just celebrate when we could. Other members of my family worked retail or aged care, and had to work holidays too, so we'd just find a date close to the holiday and celebrate then. Lots of Saturday Thanksgivings and week late Easters.

I personally don't work many holidays but I do work lots of evenings and weekends. I balance by getting house stuff and errands done during my odd days off during the week and then I can focus on spending the weekend time I do have with my kiddos. I actually like it better and wish my current job had a bit more work in the off hours so I could flex my time a bit more but all in all, I like my job and schedule at the moment so it's alright.

 

[infomommax]

@risenart Thank you! I realize that you make whatever works for your family, and it doesn’t have to be traditional! I had a SAHM and my dad ran his own business so he worked long days/weekends but he totally controlled his schedule.

Do you remember her having odd days off/enjoying that? I’ll have a toddler and a baby, and I feel very drawn to having as many days at home as possible, even if it means odd hours.

I have always loved weird week days off, I really can’t stand the grocery store on the weekends and taking time off for appts lol. So I need to focus on that!

 

[risenart]

@infomommax I don't really remember her having days off during the week but I'm sure she did, I just would have been at school. But she was definitely around for most of our events and almost every night for dinner. That was her big thing, she wanted us all to have dinner together every night.