No colostrum at 36 hours postpartum

[sam4242]

I had my baby about 36 hours ago at 7pm. We had been pushing for 3 hours and he was not progressing any lower so he was delivered via emergency c-section. He came out not breathing and was taken straight to NICU. Neither I or his dad got to touch or see him for almost 9 hours.

Because of my condition at the time, they did not start me pumping until about 9 am the following morning (basically I was so exhausted and drugged up I couldn’t even sit up straight long enough to do it). My first pump I got 4ml of colostrum and was so happy. Ever since then, I haven’t been able to pump enough to even collect it (pumping every 3 hours around the clock, saw the lactation consultant twice).

Baby is getting donor milk and i know he's okay. I already felt like my body failed my baby when I couldn't push him out. Now i feel like im
just failing motherhood in general because I can't feed him either.

 

[katrina2017]

@sam4242 That's really rough. You did amazing momma. You didn't fail at giving birth, and you're not failing as a mother now. I'm so sorry you didn't get the birth experience you wanted.

The fact that you pumped colostrum before is super encouraging. I can imagine you're pretty stressed and tired right now. If I had to guess, I'd guess that that's what's causing the lack of colostrum right now. Stress hormones surpress oxytocin, the hormone responsible for milk production. If you're up for it, just keep pumping. If you can, watch your baby or hold them while pumping. Drink enough water. No matter how hard it is, try to relax. I'm sure your milk will come in soon. Sometimes it just takes a few days.

You're working so hard despite the rough start you had with your baby. I can only feel a lot of respect for that. Your baby is lucky with such an amazing and dedicated mom.

 

[sam4242]

@katrina2017 This made me cry. thank you for the encouragement. I am not giving up, just feeling sad so far

 

[katrina2017]

@sam4242 I get it, that all sounds really rough. I love that you're not giving up though. And it really is worth it. From a mom who struggled with breastfeeding and eventually had to give up after 3 months: Having a kid is amazing. You'll get so many more opportunities to bond with them. You'll see them grow up and will take care of them for the rest of your life. Your birth feels super important right now. And it is. But you'll get many more opportunities to have wonderful experiences with your little one. This is only the beginning.

 

[sam4242]

@katrina2017 He is on respiratory support still so we are so limited on what we can do to bond, and at this point I’m almost feeling disassociated because I literally can’t be with him or hold him or anything. I am ready for the next step. Motherhood is hard but rewarding

 

[markum1972]

@sam4242 Your first decisions as a mom were all about getting him into the world safely with the emergency section and giving him to the NICU team. That was scary, it is hard on your body and your mind.

The three of you had a much tougher start to this than most. It's normal to grieve the birth you wanted, you can be sad about that and also proud of the sacrifices you've already made to keep him safe.
36 hours is still really early, especially after a traumatic birth and limited chances to hold baby skin to skin. A lot of people can't pump much colostrum at 3-5 days even with a vaginal birth that has gone totally 100% to plan.

You're on track. You're doing all the right things, you're a great mom. You're allowed to feel elated and disappointed at the same time. Be gentle with yourself.

You are everything your baby needs. No matter how the feeding journey goes. Congratulations on your beautiful new baby, I hope he's able to go home with you soon.

 

[sam4242]

@markum1972 Thank you for this I know it’ll be okay no matter what but it’s hard as a mom not to automatically blame myself and my body. Definitely need to grieve and process these emotions which is not going to be fun, I think getting more skin to skin today may help. Yesterday I think I was still in shock when I held him for the first time, it hardly even felt like my baby

 

[markum1972]

@sam4242 That's all so normal, you've been through the highest highs and lowest lows of life all in a short few hours. Of course you are finding your bearings again, it's going to take time. The bond with your baby will come too, it really will.

I was so tired the first night home from the hospital I fell asleep and when my husband tried to wake me to say the baby was hungry I said "what baby??....... Oh yeah". Like, I had no idea how intense the exhaustion and confusion would be.

You'll process all the hard emotions in time, and you'll process all the good stuff too. It's both. You'll see yourself and your strength in a whole new light. The hardest things to deal with now are the things you'll be proudest of yourself for in time.

It's ok to take it hour by hour, ask for help, try to feel the wins as well as the disappoinments. Keep talking to your medical team about your recovery as well as baby's.
You're doing so much better than you can see right now. I'm so proud of you. Again, you are the mom your baby needs, just as you are. I'm sure your milk will come in soon. You're doing everything you can. You're a great mom.

 

[csanc]

@sam4242 Have you tried hand expressing? Maybe you may be able to get things moving that way. And all the skin to skin time you can. It's the skin to skin at the beginning that helps start the milk.

 

[sam4242]

@csanc I haven’t! I am hoping to take my first shower this morning and thought about trying to hand express after. I was using a manual pump at home for a couple days prior to delivery and came to the hospital with 13ml. I am debating sending my husband home to get it for me if nothing happens today??? Not sure

 

[evelin]

@sam4242 Second trying hand expressing! Or getting the manual pump if that worked before. At my hospital they didn’t offer a pump for colostrum because it is thicker and more difficult to get out with a pump. I hand expressed and supplemented with formula then on day 4 started pumping and took till day 5 for really anything to come out with a pump.

 

[csanc]

@sam4242 If it's worked for you in the past it's worth trying again. I just know I myself had way more luck with hand expressing costrum than pumping. It wasn't until I started getting transitional milk that I could pump effectively.

 

[craighuntsherbs]

@sam4242 This is so tough. Try to give yourself grace. My baby was in the NICU (not as dramatic in our case ) and what helped me was getting rest and sleep as much as possible, even if it feels selfish. I wanted to be by my daughters bed every moment, but what brought my milk in was some solid hours of sleep. Skin to skin whenever possible and also it helped staying as warm/cosy as possible while pumping and watching photos and videos oder my daughter. I tried to imagine holding her when I pumped.
If it doesn't work, please know that you did nothing wrong and there will be so many other wonderful ways to bond with your baby.

 

[sam4242]

@craighuntsherbs This is really encouraging. I have spent so much time in my postpartum room just for pain management alone, and it definitely feels selfish but I can literally not keep my eyes open half the time I got some decent sleep tonight which feels great, and I’m really eager for more skin to skin today. I am hoping that helps!

 

[mariah_desiree]

@sam4242 You are doing amazing. Lots of skin to skin and cuddles.

 

[troubledautisticsinner]

@sam4242 My baby was an unplanned c section. My baby came out a guzzler and wanted more and more immediately so we had to supplement with formula at first til my milk came in. But I never produced enough enough to keep his fed anyways and I dried up in 3 months.

Babies are hard. Breast feeding is hard. You got this! A fed baby is best, though it sucks when you want to breast fed your baby.

 

[warriorforchrist94]

@sam4242 Work on hand expression mama! You’ve got this!

 

[bren_dm]

@sam4242 I’m a PP RN at a high risk hospital and have a patients who are separated from their babies who are trying to collect milk for them.

What is happening to you is pretty normal. Pumps are not ideal for removing colostrum, and we usually recommend continuing to hand express every 2-3 hours until your milk supply comes in. We recommend doing this in tandem with pumping as it can be unpredictable regarding which method will be more effective in removing milk.

I often have patients understandably get discouraged when they are able to get little to no colostrum out, but the continued, regular stimulation in order to establish an adequate supply in the future is the primary goal of pumping when baby is tiny. I always tell patients that every pumping/expressing session is a success because you are sending your body the messages it needs to start making milk, regardless of how much is actually expressed.

But yeah- hand expression is pretty important at this point.

 

[stacymom2son]

@bren_dm Came here to say this - I also had limited colostrum and a delay in my milk coming in after my c-section, and the above is the exact advice I got from the IBCLCs. You got this, OP

 

[goldandsilver]

@sam4242 I never produced any colostrum with my first. None. Not even 1 mL. I gave him formula but still put him on the boob a ton. Day 4, my milk came in like gangbusters, and he went on to be a 99th percentile chonk from my milk alone. I’ve never figured out why my colostrum didn’t come in, it seems to be fairly rare, but it had no long term impact on my milk production or my baby. Every body is different, hang in there and don’t beat yourself up.