New mom and struggling

[fellowsheep]

I have had a few conversations with him about it because I have felt like I was doing all the work when he was home with me. And then he got better and was helping so much more and went back to work and now I’m doing all of it. He continuously will make a big deal if he has to take him. I am okay with him not getting up at night because he’s been working really long days and his job is very active and stressful. But he told me on his days off he would take him during the day so I could catch a break and now it’s like none of that happened.

 

[fellowsheep]

That’s a great idea thank you. I will have a discussion about certain chores for him. I don’t mind doing the annoying things like dishes and laundry as long as he’s doing something to help me. I have hobbies and things that I like to do and I’m swamped with chores all the time so I can’t ever do anything to relax. And I didn’t think about it in a way that he might have a way of taking caring of him that is different from mine. When I’m back at work he’s gonna have to take him for about 4 hours in the morning alone, so he’s gonna be forced to find his own way of caring for him cause I’m not gonna be there and I can’t be answering tons of calls at work. I’m happy to hear it gets easier. I needed to hear that to find hope. I’m not usually like this, I have depression but I can always bring myself out of it or the days I feel hopeless only last a day. With ppd the feeling never goes away. It did when I finally got a schedule going and then we’ve regressed

 

[dawn4ever64]

@fellowsheep Follow takingcarababies on Instagram, she has free tips or you can buy her program. 100% was the best purchase I made and my son has slept so well since 4 months when I bought her program.

I’m not affiliated with her at all, just am so grateful to her program. Both of my sister in laws bought it and had the same results. I promise once you are sleeping more you will start to feel better but it just takes time.

 

[fellowsheep]

I will definitely check that out thank you! Any tips are helpful

 

[kitsoni]

@fellowsheep You sound exactly like me. I'm so sorry. I'm on the other side though. 7 months. I actually just got off of my zoloft (25mg) which I was on for 3 months. I can't say enough good things about meeting with a psychiatrist and becoming medicated. Even just a counselor can help. I'd recommend being honest with your husband about how you're feeling

 

[godsman82]

@fellowsheep I would definitely talk to your husband about how you are feeling. I had a heart to heart with mine and it’s getting better.

As for sleep training, IT IS HARD. The struggle was real in month 3-5 with my first. Stick with it. Be ok with crying. If they are in a safe space 5-10 min of crying will not hurt them. Routine helps!

As for you, make time for you that does not involve caring for everyone else each day. Doesn’t have to be a lot, but it makes a big difference. Mine is walking. I take both my girls on a walk everyday. We all get fresh air, my 2 year old gets some energy released but mostly I get to walk off the baby weight.

You got this!

 

[blackzeppelin]

@fellowsheep Time to start giving this baby a bottle! hubby needs a shift and you need a nap, if that means he feeds him and takes him 5-10 pm then that’s what it means. Don’t let him get away with it, it’s unacceptable. I’m sure I will go through a similar struggle which is why ‘be established my boundaries and the baby isn’t even here. Husband is going to take late night shift 7 to 2 and I’m going to take 2 on. It takes time to establish but gotta keep him doing it. maybe the first week you say I’m going to do this with you so you know what to do, the next week I’m going to let you do it and I’ll watch you for support or ideas third week you got it, only interrupt me if baby is crying longer than 20 mins or something. 4th week yiu are on your own.