Hey guys. My wife and I graduated yesterday with a healthy baby boy. My wife rocked labor and delivery. She went from 3cm, to 5cm, to 10cm in about 6 hours and it only took 2.5 pushes to see our boy. It was truly amazing. Thought I’d share a few things I’ve found helpful in the first 24 hours, in no particular order:
Just talk to mom. Doesn’t matter what it’s about. She just needs somebody to talk to and to listen.
Find a way to step out of the room a few times when it’s possible. That mental break of a few minutes was a major help to me.
A shower, a strong cup of coffee, and a good breakfast will change your world after that first night. Find a way to make that happen.
Your LO may have some trouble eating at first. It’s EXTREMELY distressing - but totally normal. Try not to let it get to you.
@arielleshapiro Hey man I’m graduating in 3-4 weeks! Definitely appreciate the info. Feel free to add an update to this post later. I’ll be checking in.
@katrina2017 Thanks brother. Will do. I’ll go ahead and add something now. I wrote #4 right before trying to feed my son this morning. The nurse showed me a few things, and he downed the entire bottle like a champ. The relief and pride I felt were unbelievable. So just stick it out. You and your LO are learning a lot.
@katrina2017 May not be the case for everyone. My wife is exclusively pumping, so I’ll probably be the one primarily doing the actual feeding. That takes something off her plate.
@arielleshapiro Just a bit of advice you never asked for, so feel free to ignore.
I exclusively pumped for my baby since she has a cleft and can’t latch. I felt like a milking cow when all I was doing was pumping with a machine next to me, and my husband got all the baby snuggle time and the fun of feeding her. I resented basically feeling like I incubated her for 9 months and I’m pumping for hours a day, but not getting any of the feel good hormones or cuddles of actually feeding her (and he did none of that, but got all the “reward”).
So… offer to do laundry or washing the pump parts and bottles or something every now and then while she gets to feed the baby.
@katrina2017 One thing too add. Wife was. Ot producing milk at birth despite baby latching right away. I ended up holding LO while the wife slept the rest of the night. Tried feeding a few times but nothing was coming. LO was getting fussier and fussier. We ended up getting 2oz of formula milk from the hospital and solved everything.
Tldr. Don't be afraid of formula if mom isn't producing yet.
@arielleshapiro I really appreciate seeing tips like this, especially #2. My wife is having a C section in several weeks, and I have no idea what it's going to be like in that hospital room for three or four days.
@legolas2106 Not sure what area you’re in, but I went to pick up food / get coffee for both of us a few times throughout the day. Was great to get some fresh air and short change of scenery, and we appreciated better food than the hospital options.
@mac7 This was huge for us. After a long and stressful night, I got up and got us coffee and a good breakfast and took a hot shower. Felt like a new man. Right after that our boy took a bottle and everything was on the right track.
@legolas2106 My wife had a c-section, and I don’t want to say this to alarm you, but more so that you know what to expect after it happens. She likely won’t be able to get out of bed much in the first few days, and even after it’s a long healing process.
You will likely need to help her get up and move around, and go to the bathroom and such. You may feel overwhelmed at times while you’re caring for a newborn and also caring for your wife while she is healing but just try to remember it will get easier as time goes.
@mkladder90 And I promise she’s not being dramatic. It hurts like hell to stand up or reposition yourself after a c-section. Help moving is a critical need.
@mkladder90 This helps a lot. My wife had two other c sections from a previous marriage, and I know she's downplaying a lot of how hard it's going to be. She's also older than she was. I want to put on a tough face for her and be her rock, but it's challenging to do that when the severity of symptoms is a constant surprise.
@legolas2106 Everyone’s different, but my wife could not walk by herself for about three days, and even after that it was a struggle for the next couple weeks. Constant pain doing even the most basic tasks, so I just had her lay down as much as possible
@arielleshapiro I'll add one for you. Every nurse you meet in there can provide advice. Sometimes it differs from one to another so you'll have to see what works best for you. Even different lactation consultants will tell you different things.
