Neighbours complaining about noise

[alanson]

So yeah our neighbours (both around 30, daughter is 1) complained today about the noise and asked us to be quiet around 6:30/7:00 p.m.) Apparently our twins (also
both 1) are too noisy.

The only circumstances when I can recall it being noisy was during the christmas holidays because the kids opened their presents and were really excited to try them out. Every night I will bring both of them to bed at 7:00 and after that it’s quiet for the whole night. I can’t change that it can be noisy before bed time. It’s challenging already and I tried to keep it down today but it has gotten frustrating really quickly. In our country it’s a rule that from 10 p.m - 6 a.m you’re supposed to be quiet and let’s say our neighbours did not care about that during the summer when they had BBQ at evening and visitors that stayed till the morning and were really loud outside. Did we complain once ? No, but now I will. I’m just really frustrated and needed to vent. Thank you for listening

 

[valsaex]

@alanson Eh, I'd ignore them. Usually quiet hours in duplexes and apartments aren't until 10 or so (I'm assuming it's one or the other since neighbors can hear your kids). If it really is occasionally then they need to get over slight noises heard through thin walls or find a home that doesn't share walls.

Only reason to really care is if there is excessive noise from constantly running or constantly screaming crying etc. 630/7pm is rediculous and as you said your kids are in bed by 7ish. If you want to head it off yku could always let your apartment manager know there may be a complaint if they continue and explain your kids are in bed at 7 and there's rarely any noise after. Normal Kid and people noise is just par for course for multiple family housing.

And I say this as someone who lives in the middle of nowhere with no neighbors because.....I don't like excess noise or people

 

[alanson]

@valsaex Yeah that’s true they also knew we had twins when they moved in, so I wonder what they expected I already won’t let my kids drive around with their bobby cars in the morning and evening and put away things that are loud wren they throw it on the floor. But about the tantrums and the running I can’t do much for now. The weather was really bad the last two weeks so we couldn’t go outside that often either..

 

[learningbygrace]

@alanson I vote you kill them with kindness. Invite their daughter for a playdate at the park or bring them some "art" your children made theirs. They are also parents of a one year old, so I'm willing to bet they've experienced the same bedtime meltdowns or excited toddler utterances you have, just not in stereo. Maybe once they get to know you as a person, they'll realize that you are struggling with the same toddler shenanigans they are and give some grace.

And as a fellow parent of one year old twins I can say: you are rocking this parenting thing. What we do is hard, and yet, we rise to that challenge each and every day!

 

[alanson]

@learningbygrace I actually planned on inviting them bc I saw her walking the street up an down with her daughter and we sometimes smalltalk. I never saw her daughter with other kids so I thought why not try being friends with my twins. we’ll see how it goes

 

[mcpon14]

@alanson Yeah we’re in the same situation. Quiet hours in our apartment building are 10-6am and during those hours we are quiet —all except the baby when she wakes up anyway.

We’ve had a few complaints, including one anonymous one from our 20 something year old neighbor who is (according to the caretaker) out late nights and constantly forgetting her keys and calling him to let her in. She complained we wake her up in the day. Well…sorry. But quiet hours are 10pm to 6am, not 10am to 6pm. Maybe get ear plugs and a noise machine?

The others are the old couple we live above. Sucks for them and they have my sympathy. I tell the kids to walk not run about 80 times a day to try and keep things quiet for them and we’ve put down rugs, etc. really they should be glad we’re not students throwing loud parties every single weekend.

At any rate, ignore them. You have the right to live your life and they just have to deal.

 

[alanson]

@mcpon14 Dang, with 20 I didn’t even think about complaining. That really sucks! Our neighbors live above us, so I wonder what noise they are hearing ? they surely can’t hear them running around

 

[mcpon14]

@alanson “Why are my neighbors walking on the god damn ceiling!? I’m complaining to the housing coop!”

At least you’re on the ground floor then. Our downstairs neighbors live above an office and I wish to god we could trade places with them. Then our kids could run as much as they want!

According to my husband, sound in apartments tends to move through floors and ceilings more than walls so it’s probably yelling, loud talking, slamming, drilling, blending…any and all of those.

They do have some insulation panels you could get and attach to the ceiling (like large styrofoam pieces) that would prevent sound from traveling upwards if you’re determined.

 

[alanson]

@mcpon14 wouldn’t surprise me if my kids could crawl on the ceiling one day, sometimes I feel like I’m raising two little monkeys

Yeah, I totally get why you would want to trade! I have to ask her soon what kind of noise is bothering them. My kids got those magnets in different shapes and colors for christmas and they like to stick them on our radiators (is that the correct word?) so maybe that’s what they are hearing. They never complained before that

 

[mcpon14]

@alanson Tbh I wouldn’t engage. Just explain that quiet hours are between 10-6 and that normal daily activities and sounds of life are perfectly acceptable. If anything I would contact the building management/coop and explain that a neighbor is complaining about the noise from your kids and have them explain how things work to their neighbor.

Do you own the apartment or rent? Or did you recently move in?

The magnets on the radiators could be it. I think they’re connected to all apartments. So you could give the kids something else to stick magnets to instead. But I would strongly discourage talking about this directly to the neighbors as it can make them feel more entitled to you doing as they say. As in, they will complain more

 

[alanson]

@mcpon14 Yes you’re totally right! Our land lord is already old and I think they prefer not getting involved. So far there was only one complaint from them and I hope it’s the last. We rent the apartment and moved in 2 years ago

 

[mcpon14]

@alanson Ok ich habe gerade etwa in deinem Progil geguckt und gesehen, dass du in Deutschland bist. Mitleid. Dort kann es sehr kinderunfreundlich sein. Ich weiß nicht, ob es dort ist wie wo ich bin (Finnland) aber für Kinder unter 3 Jahren können haben sie Sonderregelungen, die erkennen das man mit dem Alter einfach nichts machen kann. Die sind einfach laut und läute in Mehrfamilienäuser verbreiten sich

 

[alanson]

@mcpon14 Ja du sprichst mir aus der Seele hab heut erst zu meinem Mann gesagt, dass ich das Gefühl habe Kinder sind nirgendwo mehr erwünscht. Finde es super, dass Finnland da Sonderregelungen hat

 

[endbag]

@alanson So let me make sure I understand—your neighbors are complaining about noise at 6-7 pm in the evening? For real? Honestly, they might just be shit out of luck. Noise at that time of evening isn’t keeping anyone from sleeping or anything else. You’re not violating any noise ordinances. I would just not worry about it too much. Apologize for the noise but leave it at that. You can’t just stop living your life. If they need that much quiet, they might not be cut out to live near other people… If you’d said they complain about noise at 3 a.m., it would be a different story. But even then, what are you supposed to do? Gag your babies and enforce vows of silence?

 

[alanson]

@endbag ikr, it’s ridiculous I don’t want bad blood, so yeah we apologized and hopefully that’s it

 

[thebloodofchristjesus]

@alanson We are in a similar situation. Our neighbors complained about noise because of our footsteps. We have a newborn and have been running around the place trying to soothe him or get him a bottle of milk and it's been bothering the folks downstairs. We also hear lot of noise from both the top and below neighbors but we've never complained my husband and I are thinking we should find another apartment, for now we are sad because we have never had a noise complaint in our many years in this home.

 

[alanson]

@thebloodofchristjesus It’s really sad when you can’t move freely in your own home. Things like these remind me that a house would be nice sometimes but doesn’t look like that’s an option with the current prices