My toddler eats like 8 things and I don’t have the energy to do anything about it

[dmhanson511]

There’s a narrowing cast of food my 19 month toddler will reliably eat (porridge, Weetbix cereal, veg/fruit pouches, hummus sandwich, bananas, baked beans, miscellaneous snacks) He used to eat more meat and try proper adult food, but stopped a couple months ago for no apparent reason. And though I used to have energy to prepare and offer him new foods he will almost certainly throw on the floor, my patience and energy is waning. I have a job. I need to eat dinner too. It’s unrealistic to do this every night.

So will he grow out of it or am I making the problem worse if I don’t expose him to new foods on the reg? Every dinner feels like a battle I’m not willing to fight some days. Can I just give him the food I know he will eat?

 

[9ikanews]

@dmhanson511 serve your food, the meal the whole family will be eating, as the main thing, and put 1-2 things they like on the side.

 

[cyrilll]

@9ikanews This is what we do. As my now 3.5 year old got more verbal, I added in a few things.

1. If you don’t like something on your plate, just ignore it. No need to toss it or complain about it.
2. We use the term “learning to like” instead of just letting her say she doesn’t like it. Food tastes aren’t fixed or permanent. She’s more than happy to tell us she’s still learning to like things.
3. If I think she would like a food if she just gave it a chance, I ask her to smell it, lick it and taste a nibble. Sometimes she doesn’t, but because I don’t give her a hard time about food, she’s usually willing. And we’re building trust that I haven’t asked her to eat anything genuinely gross. If she still doesn’t want the food after going through the steps, I let it go.
4. We’re way more liberal with condiments than I ever envisioned. Apples with ketchup sounds disgusting to me, but if it gets the Apple eaten, I’ll just make sure we have the healthiest version of ketchup I can find.

 

[bornagain95]

@cyrilll We have way more success with a “no thanks” bowl than asking ours to ignore it; I saw it suggested here and it’s saved us a lot of floor food.

 

[akajshdj]

@dmhanson511 I don’t know but I feel the same way. As long they are getting nutrients I’m not sure it’s worth the fight.

 

[ophanim]

@dmhanson511 That’s what I do. Mine is just turned 3 and will eat a decent variety of breakfast foods, a couple of sandwich options at lunch and then at dinner has some combo of: plain pasta, veggie nuggets/sausages, raw carrot and cucumber.

Thats it for dinner, nothing mixed, nothing with multiple ingredients, and nothing with the things he likes in a different form eg pasta with sauce.

I can’t be bothered to make different things anymore, he eats the same dinner every day and is welcome to try anything my partner or I eat, he just doesn’t want to

 

[helenix]

@dmhanson511 Same thing with my boy narrowing his approved food list. He's 2.5yo now and has started to graze off my plate again. Slow progress is still progress.

 

[discolee]

@dmhanson511 my son did basically the same change at that age. he used to be all about proteins. now he is a little carb machine. the simpler the carb the better. I figured he must be keying in on what his body is craving. whenever I find myself being stressed I just tell myself he must not need it.

 

[gloryriver]

@dmhanson511 I have no idea at this point what's effective long term and what's going to ruin his life for all time. I'm so tired of trying to make children eat. My bad eater has a feeding aversion and still takes 99% of his calories from a bottle.

With his twin, who is generally a decent eater, I do a variation of exposure feeding. A few times a week, he gets two known winners and a new food. He doesn't really have to eat the new one- this is a no pressure situation. I'll generally try to eat it in front of him, too, with exaggerated chomps and lip smacking.

Many of our big "wins" have been entirely unexpected. He loves chili, but only if he can eat from our bowls. Eating mommy or daddy food in front of him, with a slight bit of reverse psychology, seems to prompt more exploration. Think: "Oh, I don't know if you'll like this, it's mommy food."

 

[jesusishere]

@dmhanson511 My picky eater is 4, and it doesn't get a whole lot better for us. I've talked with his pediatrician about it for two years running (at least) and his response has been that he's thriving physically and doesn't see an issue with it. Just to keep trying all the usual approaches and let it work itself out as he gets older. Sometimes meals are wildly stressful despite our best intentions and calm approaches, and it is what it is. Meanwhile my 2yo will try almost anything (and lately loves salad? little weirdo.) so I know it's not anything we're doing differently.

 

[winter10]

@dmhanson511 Serve the food you’ve made for dinner. Include a safe food or two. Eventually they’ll get over it and try the food. Also serve really really small portions so it’s less overwhelming

 

[mimi94]

@dmhanson511 Fed is fed.

Food should never be a battle.

 

[angelk]

@dmhanson511 When mine refuses food that I KNOW she likes, I’ll bribe her into tasting one bit and then she’ll eat the whole thing! But she’s 2y8m so probably understands ever so slightly more reason than 19m… “if you taste just one little bit of that food, we can have raspberries after dinner” or sometimes (and I feel bad doing this one), “ok no problem, I’ll just give your baby brother the food instead” … currently she hates him getting anything instead of her lol

 

[follower212]

@dmhanson511 I could’ve written this a year and a half ago. My now 3yo is finally starting to branch out from fruit, hummus, oatmeal, yogurt, and cheese (verrrrry slowly but surely). She ate chicken nuggets the other day and I could’ve cried. Mostly I tried to keep things very low pressure and waited it out. And now she is finally open to trying things again.

 

[dmhanson511]

@follower212 Okay this is basically how i was planning to approach it. It’s funny trying to convince him he should try pizza and chicken nuggets

 

[anne56]

@dmhanson511 I have a fussy eater and it drives me crazy some of the advice you get. I just give him food that he'll eat so that he gets enough calories and nutrition. If it's the same thing every other day, who cares.

I do offer him a bit of anything anyone else is eating too in the hopes that one day he'll say yes.

There's no way I'm going to serve an array of food he won't eat every day, what an incredible waste of time, energy and money!

He has vitamin gummies every day including an extra iron one, he'll be fine.

 

[dmhanson511]

@anne56 Agreed. You sound sensible lol

 

[steveraz]

@dmhanson511 This approach is not for everyone, but we just let our kids be hungry sometimes. We serve them the dinner we planned for everyone else in the house. We force the toddler to eat one bite and the 3-year-old to eat 1-3 bites. If they don't want to eat more, that's fine, but they don't get anything else until breakfast the next morning. Breakfast and lunch are with the childcare provider, and are very consistently "safe" but nutritious foods. Our pediatrician says this approach is fine for our kids.

The 3-year-old has grown out of his pickiest phase, but still dislikes some specific ingredients. We usually make him eat one small bite of the thing he doesn't like, and then he's allowed to pick the rest out (or, when convenient, we make his portion without that ingredient). In theory we take the same approach with the 1-year-old, but since he's a little pickier there are more nights that he eats the one bite and nothing else.

We do plan a mix of meals they enjoy and ones they don't, so it's not a battle every night.

 

[annabel4]

@steveraz This is… wildly fucked up. So yeah. Starving your kid is “not for everyone”. Jesus Christ.

 

[steveraz]

@annabel4 I'm not starving my kid. I'm offering him the same food I eat. He can eat as much or as little as he wants.