My late preterm baby wakes every 1.5 hours bc she’s hungry

[shanebird]

She was born at 36w4d and since bringing her home from the hospital, she’s been waking up at the 1.5 hr mark to eat. She wasnt small- 7lb 11 ounces & doesn’t eat little either- 2.25oz to 2.5oz every feeding. I am pumping and we supplement with formula. She has jaundice & low blood sugar while in the hospital but everything is good now. She’s way surpassed her birth weight.
I’d like to get more than 30 minutes of sleep at a time at night!
Everything I see on the Internet is that the babies go 3 to 4 hours before having to feed, especially preterm babies. However this is not the case for us. I’m hoping someone else has had this experience and can give us some hope!

 

[readerjoseph]

@shanebird Hi there, doula here. So I wish I could tell you there was a magical way to change your babies eating and sleeping habit, but unfortunately the "sleep training" and "schedules" out there generally force your baby into conforming to your needs, not theirs. Now I aim for everyone to be put first, you don't disappear behind your baby and neither do your needs - so the goal is to find a balance. Your baby right now needs to eat every 1.5 hours. That's what her body is telling her, and that's the way she is built. There are things you may or may not being doing that can help to facilitate better sleep with such short windows.

• Having a bed-side bassinet such as the halo so mid-night feeds aren't leaving bed.
• Having all your supplies bedside like a diaper caddy that hangs on the bassinet so you can just change diapers in bed.
• Having a night light that's able to be slept by, but just bright enough to feed and change diapers by reduces how much you have to "wake up" to feed.
• Prep breast milk bottles before bed and have a bed-side cooler they stay in and you pull one out at bed time after feeding her to warm up to room temp and is ready to feed when she wakes next. Then pull the next one out to warm to room temp while she sleeps and you feed that one.
• If you're using formula at night, have an insulated thermos with warm water in it that will stay warm all night so you can keep the formula and bottles bed side and mix the bottles bedside, by the night light.

Remember too that this is temporary, you will sleep again and as time passes your baby's sleep periods will lengthen, but right now they are short. Trying to force her into a longer window ultimately leads to less sleep for everyone because she will be asking via cries to eat still every 1.5 hours and if you ignore her she might lengthen her sleep because she learns you won't respond, but then she's going hungry and is more stressed overall.

I hope this helps, I would also recommend a postpartum doula that can come in to help you set things up at night and also just to give you a break! Wishing you the best.

 

[shanebird]

@readerjoseph I really appreciate the reply and advice. Do you think she is eating too much or too little?

 

[readerjoseph]

@shanebird So this is an age old question that has plagued mother's and father's and caregivers since the dawn of time - but we are lucky to live in an age of scales and regular diaper changes also tell you a lot.

First, and there is no judgement here, why are you supplementing with formula? Was she not gaining weight? Again, absolutely zero judgement, I am only looking to understand why she is getting formula so I can give you the best steps forward.

So, scales and diapers. Most of the time, you don't need to be weighing your baby everyday, you can tell if they are doing alright just because you see them all the time, you can tell if they aren't getting lighter, if they are rounding out and getting thigh rolls and going up in diaper size.

Can you tell me how old your baby is? It sounds like she is still a newborn but if you could give me a week age that's helpful and goes directly to how you determine diaper outputs for weight gain. If you can get back to me on weeks age, I can go into more depth on what to look for!

 

[shanebird]

@readerjoseph I pump but I have an under supply! We give formula at night so it’s easier for me & my husband.
She’s 3w1d now! & she’s gaining plenty of weight, she’s getting so heavy

 

[readerjoseph]

@shanebird If she's gaining than she's fine! She should be having roughly at least 4-6 heavy wet diapers a day, with 3-8 poops that's at least the size of the o in an OK sign you make with your hand. But really, if she is gaining weight then I have no concerns she is getting too little! If anything, she may not need as much formula, but I am not her doctor so I can't tell you that with authority!

What you might try is in the middle of the night offering the breast for comfort instead of the formula - she may be waking and want the comfort of the breast and not food - the hardest thing about bottle feeding is that whether baby wants just comfort, with a bottle, food comes right along with it. At the breast, they modulate how they suck - less for comfort and more for food. So she may be waking and just want you! The way to tell is if you put her to breast, she suckles and then calms quickly and goes back to sleep. This may work for 1 or 2 night feeds, and she will still need some of those wake ups to be with the formula, but it's something to test for sure. As she gets the comfort of your breast and just a smaller night meal and that's enough for her, that's great too!

Was your undersupply diagnosed by a lactation consultant? I would highly recommend seeing one if you haven't yet, because you are still early enough in her life to increase your supply and maybe come off formula!

Let me know if you have any more questions.

 

[shanebird]

@readerjoseph It’s been really hard to latch her & also I don’t see this being talked about a lot but it’s very hard on my body. My neck & shoulders & back kill me trying to get her to latch which doesn’t happen ever…

 

[readerjoseph]

@shanebird Oh momma, I'm so sorry you're going through this! I really recommend you seek a lactation consultant, specifically an IBCLC. They will be able to help you!! In the mean time, I would recommend you go to www.llli.org and find a local leader near you that you can talk to and perhaps join a meeting. There is help, different positions, and options out there and you deserve to get it!

 

[shanebird]

@readerjoseph Thank you so much for your time and advice

 

[readerjoseph]

@shanebird Absolutely. Wishing you the best, please feel free to message me if you need help finding an IBCLC or have more questions!

 

[dhess]

@shanebird Definitely this!! I was so lucky to have a lactation consultant in hospital and it made everything so much easier, it still hurts/feels uncomfortable a week or 2 after but your nipples get used to it and it doesn’t hurt at all anymore and he just latches so easy and can do pretty much any angle. I would say get a lactation consultant asap and understand it will still be tricky at first but should just click eventually. Also my baby was waking every 2 hours for the first 2 weeks (I’m sure that half hour more than you makes a big difference). But I’d also say just try stay in bed even longer, don’t get up just because it’s the morning, keep sleeping until it’s like lunch time and you’re hungry that helped me!

 

[shanebird]

@dhess Hahaha I love that, thank you!!

 

[readerjoseph]

@shanebird I also want to emphasize, you are not alone! Many women struggle with breastfeeding. It is a learned skill and no one should expect it to just always come along with ease. It takes practice, guidance and patience just to start, and then there is many things that can impact your breastfeeding relationship with your baby. Tongue/lip ties, poor sucking reflex, positions of their head and body, your positioning, breast structure, nipple shape - all of these can be occuring but you need a specialist to know how they are impacting you and your baby - that's where the IBCLC comes in! You are absolutely correct that difficulty in breast feeding isn't talked about, but it is very common. You can do this, there is no shame in struggling to breastfeed, it takes true strength to admit that you are and seek help.

 

[firerangertom]

@readerjoseph This. Wow !

 

[laurarose]

@shanebird When my LO was a few weeks old he cluster fed all night long every night and he was born weighing 9lbs3oz at 39w3d. I’ve hers from multiple people that bigger babies tend to eat more. (At just a few weeks old my little guy could finish off 7oz in a one hour window) What’s important isn’t the amount she’s drinking it’s that she’s gaining weight and having enough wet and dirty diapers.

I know it’s really hard to hear that it’s normal for you to be getting no sleep BUT I promise you it does get better. My little guy is nearly 11 months now and he usually sleeps straight from 7:30ish until 6/7 in the morning and has been for some time now. Hang in there! Hopefully she’ll start sleeping longer stretches soon!

 

[shanebird]

@laurarose Thank you!!

 

[daniuwl]

@shanebird My girl is 8 weeks and still eats about every 1,5 hr sometimes 2 hrs. She is combo fed as well. For the last few days she’s gone about 3 to 3.5 hrs overnight which seems like a huge blessing to my sleep schedule lol

 

[shanebird]

@daniuwl Ugh to go 3-4 hours would be a godsend

 

[issakkk]

@shanebird Hey, I have no real advice that hasn't already been said but my little one was exactly the same and because I had a major undersuply I was constantly pumping and feeding, no time to sleep, still supplementing with formula etc. (I eventually stopped breastfeeding at 5 weeks) I honestly thought I'd never sleep again. My little girl is now almost 11 weeks, drinks a 6oz bottle and sleeps 2x 5 hour stretches at night. It does get better! Sending you love!

 

[issakkk]

Hey sorry, I also just read how much trouble you've had breastfeeding and I don't know if you need to hear this but fed is best. A happy, healthy, not exhausted and depressed mum is best. You might just want loads of advice and practice to get breastfeeding going, or maybe like me you just need someone to let you know that it's not selfish to give it up. It's not going to harm your child not to breastfeed. It's not going to ruin your bond either. If you look at the statistics online of how many babies are actually breastfed until 6 months, it's stupidly low. And when you look at a group of kids, you can't tell who was breast fed and who wasn't.