My kids (5, 7) just left for a 6-day vacation with my husband, why can't I stop crying

[lacifalor]

@leadbyexample12 You're right where you need to be posting here Bromo! (and please be aware, I'm reading between the lines quite a bit on your post with my response. So if I'm off-base I'm sorry!)

Take some breaths and imagine your little ones as babies experiencing something new for the first time. Did they stay calm and composed the first time they felt a big new emotion? What about the first time they were left at daycare or a friend's house? Did they let their feelings show? Of course they did! You're going through the EXACT SAME THING and its absolutely okay to have a big emotional reaction. Guess what? Just like your kiddos, you will feel better soon too. This too shall pass and you will absolutely be able to enjoy your time doing your thing while they have a blast with dad.

Just as an aside, you absolutely deserve this break and it might feel scary to admit that but it's true. You also shouldn't feel guilty for taking this time on your own and reconnecting with the woman who loves to make pottery and putter around the house. I'm sure she is a lovely human being and will be happy to get a chance to stretch her legs and refresh her talents!

 

[tinytaytay]

@leadbyexample12 I … never have this problem. Lol.

But seriously, it’s totally normal! Just give yourself a chance to be sad. Trust me- you will adapt quicker than you think.

 

[strongmom]

@leadbyexample12 I went on a holiday with my mum and sister to NYC (I'm from the UK) last year and left my 18mth daughter with my husband/her dad.

I cried the whole way to the airport. I felt like I couldn't breathe, like something was going to HAPPEN to her while I was on the flight and not contactable, or when I was in NYC and I would have to rush to get a flight back etc.

I felt better the next day. Especially after facetiming her and hubs and seeing she was fine. It was slightly tricky cos of the time difference.

If you can set aside time to face time with them, maybe have your breakfast when they have theirs and facetime and chat so it's like you're all having breakfast together.

You could facetime when they are tucked up in bed and read them their fave story.

If you have a time difference and can't facetime then record them a video and send it to your hubs to play for them in the morning and also a bedtime story for the evening.

Have hubs send you lots of pics of the kids having FUN so you will see the break is a good thing for them and then you might relax more.

Also do cry about it. It's OK to let it out. You can miss your kids like you've lost a limb and STILL need that break from them. Hugs to you mama x

 

[lapinot]

@leadbyexample12 Sorry momma. This is probably more about you facing the quiet. It's intense to slow down when you've been knee deep in chaos for literally years.

Your kids are Ok without you for a week. Love yourself during this time. You deserve it so mucha

 

[shek]

@leadbyexample12 I do this, whenever I’m away from my kids, even if I’m so burnt out I think I’m dying.
My advice is to keep repeating they’re happy and safe to yourself, and then keep yourself busy doing super fun, hedonistic things. TREAT YOURSELF!

 

[claire_]

@leadbyexample12 My kids go to my in-laws, out of state, for a week 2x a year.

The first night I typically wallow in the sadness of missing them. The next few days I get to do the stuff I want to do. The last day, I’m just so excited to see them that I can’t focus on anything.

 

[cnk12]

@leadbyexample12 I felt this way when my older daughter went to kindergarten and my younger daughter went to preschool full time back in January. I had never been alone for so long since I had kids and I felt this weird depression/emptiness. Like to the point of tears every day for the first week. I’m actually quite introverted and I’ve never had a problem being alone before. It was very strange. It got easier the more they went to school, and I’ve had to re-learn how to…just be a person and not someone who fulfills everyone’s needs.

I’d recommend not being so hard on yourself and thinking of this as a phase that you will have to pass through as a parent. There’s nothing wrong with you! Hope you have a wonderful staycation.

 

[evalove]

@leadbyexample12 It's really hard being away from your kiddos. I just dropped mine off at her grandma's for 5 days, and I feel strange. Idk why, she loves her grandma, grandma loves her, they'll have a blast! But part of me is wondering if it makes me a bad mom for having no reason to bring her down for that long.

The first day of daycare I cried. It's an adjustment. All I can say is a nice warm shower and comfy clothes helps

 

[xnibiru]

@leadbyexample12 Oh my goodness me too. Me literally too. My husband is at a family reunion with my 7 year old. They left today and I cannot. Stop. Crying. It was supposed to be stress relieving for me because I have been so overwhelmed but I’m so sad. I almost feel like I’m mourning. I see his toys or his empty bed and I lose it. He’s never been away from me this long. I’m on Reddit right now trying to distract myself from how sad I am. The house is too quiet and I want my family home.

 

[katrina2017]

@leadbyexample12 Sorry momma, thinking of you.. it’s hard when you want a break so bad, but then when they’re gone even for a little bit you just miss them so much

 

[meme1953]

@leadbyexample12 Don’t worry, it’s a completely normal reaction after long stressed period. Your body and mind forgot how to relax and do nothing. Cry as much as you can, than take a hot tub, fix your headache and start with one thing at the time, slowly. Dedicate this to yourself without feeling guilty, you deserve it!

 

[salvatore_sunset]

@leadbyexample12 I spent a week away from my partner and kid this summer. Felt absolutely fine, as I was hiking and camping which took up a lot of my bandwidth in a meditative and relaxing way.

We were supposed to travel home separately, but their flight got cancelled. I IMMEDIATELY rebooked my ticket to meet them, rather than going home and being there alone. The last few hours before I got to see them again were so emotional. I cried a bunch!

All this to say: you are not alone in this. You have been overworked, so that tension is trying to leave your body. You are surrounded by their absence, which is way harder!

A few tips: Cortisol can leave your body by way of tears. So have a big old cry, and let all the tears go. It will help you feel better eventually. And then go somewhere you can't take them. The spa, a fancy hotel, go sleep over at a friend's house. The best thing you can do right now is allowing yourself to recharge. Big hug.

 

[thegrungediva]

@leadbyexample12 If it helps the first time I left my kid, I had double pneumonia and I cried for hours. On the 2nd day, I felt much better about it and enjoyed the time.... I was a weird sick person with pneumonia that didn't really feel sick. I only found out because I had a fever and couldn't get it to go away after a couple of days.

It's perfectly normal for you to feel this way. It's ok. Let yourself feel bad today, but think of some things you can do tomorrow that you've been avoiding because of kids in tow. I LOVE going and getting my nails done, or doing fun shopping when my kids are with my mom.

 

[boyboy999]

@leadbyexample12 I've experienced this exact same thing and I think it's a mixture of guilt and everything suddenly stopping and becoming quiet, you finally have space to feel and think.

Remember you're a good mom, your kids and husband are happy and are going to have a good time - now it's your turn to also be happy and get some relaxing you time in, it's a win for everyone. Have a nice cup of tea or go for a walk and reset your body. I hope you feel better to and enjoy, you deserve it.