My baby won’t sleep and I’m at the end of my rope
- Thread starter pz128
- Start date
@crossroad77 Any tips on how to cap her nap?! I feel bad waking her up when I spend all my time trying to get her to sleep lol!
crossroad77
New member
@pz128 Yeah so you can try just being loud around the room like closing a door or opening drawers etc to naturally rouse her. Or you can pick her up and hold her and slowly walk out of the room and go straight to a window to cheer her up 
with my 18mo I have to wake him up by asking him if he wants an apple or to play with water lol. That gets him up really fast and perky.
with my 18mo I have to wake him up by asking him if he wants an apple or to play with water lol. That gets him up really fast and perky.@pz128 Is she significantly undertired? I might be doing the math wrong but you are trying for 15 hours of sleep. The range of normal sleep in 24 hours is 12 to 15 hours. Perhaps she won’t sleep because she isn’t tired?
https://www.thensf.org/how-many-hours-of-sleep-do-you-really-need/
https://www.thensf.org/how-many-hours-of-sleep-do-you-really-need/
katrina2017
New member
@pz128 I will be blunt. You are making your journey into motherhood way harder. Nursing to sleep is absolutely normal and crucual. Kids need proximity and connection. The more you refuse it in a way that is biologically normal (nursing to sleep, cosleeping and contact naps) the more they will wake up to seek it.
Nurse your baby to sleep. No baby gets spoilt by being loved. So do it. Do contact naps and co sleep(her mattress next to yours) and her sleep will improve.
Nurse your baby to sleep. No baby gets spoilt by being loved. So do it. Do contact naps and co sleep(her mattress next to yours) and her sleep will improve.
@pz128 I could have written this post 2 months ago when my daughter was 6 months old! She slept fairly well until around 5.5 months and then she started going through phases of 1-2 weeks of horrible sleep, then it’d get better for a few days, then bad again. It’s slowly getting better.
I tried shortening her nap length to 30 min for each of her 3 naps (she was sleeping around 3+ hours during the day) and that helped. Now she’s doing 2 naps of about an hour each. She still wakes up a lot but it’s not every 30 min anymore and she’s not doing split nights hardly anymore.
My husband also works 12 hrs/day. There’s only one hour he’s home when LO is awake during the week. So I totally understand how hard and lonely it is. Sleep deprivation is horrible. It’s so hard to function.
On the weekend, my husband takes the baby and lets me sleep in. We cosleep, so he sleeps with her 3 nights a week to give me a break from 8-10pm. At that point she’s usually hungry (EBF) so I switch and sleep with her the rest of the night. Maybe you could work out something with your husband to give you a break?
I feel for you! It’s so hard. You are not alone.
I tried shortening her nap length to 30 min for each of her 3 naps (she was sleeping around 3+ hours during the day) and that helped. Now she’s doing 2 naps of about an hour each. She still wakes up a lot but it’s not every 30 min anymore and she’s not doing split nights hardly anymore.
My husband also works 12 hrs/day. There’s only one hour he’s home when LO is awake during the week. So I totally understand how hard and lonely it is. Sleep deprivation is horrible. It’s so hard to function.
On the weekend, my husband takes the baby and lets me sleep in. We cosleep, so he sleeps with her 3 nights a week to give me a break from 8-10pm. At that point she’s usually hungry (EBF) so I switch and sleep with her the rest of the night. Maybe you could work out something with your husband to give you a break?
I feel for you! It’s so hard. You are not alone.
@pz128 If there are no medical issues, it might be that you’ll just have to ride this one out, I’m afraid. Like others have suggested, consider nursing to sleep and bed sharing to make things easier for the both of you. Some babies are just crappy sleepers but very slowly they’ll get better at it. Mine was also waking up every 45-60 mins at night for months until she started getting longer stretches of 1.5-2 hrs around 10 months or so. She’s 2 years old now and still waking up at night a couple of times. We still nurse to sleep and bed share. I’m pretty sure I’ve lost some of my mind along the way but it brings me joy seeing what a happy, loving and bright little person she is.
heretoeternity1
New member
@heretoeternity1 I think she just said...
Like nursing to sleep is the only way baby falls back asleep and she's doing it every 45 min overnight
Like nursing to sleep is the only way baby falls back asleep and she's doing it every 45 min overnight
@heretoeternity1 There’s absolutely nothing wrong with nursing to sleep as long as it’s working for baby. It worked for my baby for a long time but now it doesn’t. She can’t connect sleep cycles without nursing and that’s just not sustainable
sancurry93
New member
@pz128 Nursing to sleep is probably not your problem. Believe me, our little one has always been a bad sleeper, he's 21 months now and when we night weaned absolutely NOTHING changed EXCEPT it took LONGER to get him to sleep at night. Do not night wean because you think it will help because it most likely will not and you will instead be stuck rocking your LO to sleep instead.
@sancurry93 Night weaning and no longer nursing to sleep are two very different things. I can still feed my baby on demand and rock her to sleep instead of nursing her to sleep
sancurry93
New member
@pz128 I reread my comment and I genuinely did not mean to come across so aggressive, sorry.
I wanted to emphasize that nursing to sleep gets such a bad wrap and it's not usually the cause of poor sleep. Some children just suck at sleeping and need extra support, nursing, rocking, bum patting etc. It's kind of just a pick what sounds the easiest to you because your LO may still need the comfort.
I relate to what you're going through and my heart goes out to you. Having a child that sleeps poorly affects all aspect of your life and its not easy. If nursing to sleep isn't working for you than of course make the change
I just wanted to cushion any disappointment if nothing changes for you cause lord knows I've felt it so often.
I wanted to emphasize that nursing to sleep gets such a bad wrap and it's not usually the cause of poor sleep. Some children just suck at sleeping and need extra support, nursing, rocking, bum patting etc. It's kind of just a pick what sounds the easiest to you because your LO may still need the comfort.
I relate to what you're going through and my heart goes out to you. Having a child that sleeps poorly affects all aspect of your life and its not easy. If nursing to sleep isn't working for you than of course make the change
I just wanted to cushion any disappointment if nothing changes for you cause lord knows I've felt it so often.@pz128 OP I’m in the exact same boat at 12 months. If my baby sleeps in the crib, the max she’ll do is 1.5 hours for the first stretch of the night, then it’s waking every 15-60 minutes looking to nurse. We started bed sharing at 6 months for survival. Lately (months 11-12) sleep has been really bad even in our bed, with constant overnight nursing that has me in a deep depression from a year of interrupted sleep. However, we did have some longer stretches from months 7-10, like some nights she’d do two 3 hour stretches, or a 4-5 hour stretch at the start of the night followed by the hourly wakeups.
What I am doing now to address this, as it’s not sustainable, is the following: slow crib acclimation + slow night weaning.
We start the first sleep cycle of the night nursed to sleep in the crib. When she wakes the first time, if I have energy, I repeat nursing in the crib and get her back to sleep in the crib.
Second wake up we bed share for the rest of the night, and I’m doing the Jay Gordon night weaning method (Google it) for bed sharing families. We haven’t progressed past the initial 3 day approach, because my baby is a really tough case and with this method unfortunately you have to lose sleep to get sleep. But I’m hoping after this week we can move to the second 3 day stage.
What I am doing now to address this, as it’s not sustainable, is the following: slow crib acclimation + slow night weaning.
We start the first sleep cycle of the night nursed to sleep in the crib. When she wakes the first time, if I have energy, I repeat nursing in the crib and get her back to sleep in the crib.
Second wake up we bed share for the rest of the night, and I’m doing the Jay Gordon night weaning method (Google it) for bed sharing families. We haven’t progressed past the initial 3 day approach, because my baby is a really tough case and with this method unfortunately you have to lose sleep to get sleep. But I’m hoping after this week we can move to the second 3 day stage.
knowmeyouwont
New member
@pz128 When you’ve tried cosleeping what’s the set up? Asking bc it was a very similar situation with my baby until I discovered the cuddle curl while nursing to sleep.
Also.. in the very beginning so like the first 4 months or so, if she absolutely would not fall asleep with me on her own then I would leave her downstairs with her dad for a half hour to let her cry for me before bed. My husband obviously hated it but I didn’t care.. it was literally the only time I had to myself all day. I’d take a bath and try to relax (even though my anxiety was still pretty high having to listen to her cry for a half hour), while my husband walked around the house trying to rock and sooth her.. but really the whole point of it was for her to tire herself out and ‘want me’ enough to fall asleep once I got her. I’d climb into bed and get it nice and warm for her, sound machine on, then when I was ready I’d call him up, latch her on in the cuddle curl and she’d pass out within 10 mins. Yes.. I felt horrible guilt as he’d hand her to me and she was so upset that she was still trembling and soaked in tears.. but it worked. I got a break, he was forced to be a dad for a half hour, and she fell asleep so it was worth it.
Also.. in the very beginning so like the first 4 months or so, if she absolutely would not fall asleep with me on her own then I would leave her downstairs with her dad for a half hour to let her cry for me before bed. My husband obviously hated it but I didn’t care.. it was literally the only time I had to myself all day. I’d take a bath and try to relax (even though my anxiety was still pretty high having to listen to her cry for a half hour), while my husband walked around the house trying to rock and sooth her.. but really the whole point of it was for her to tire herself out and ‘want me’ enough to fall asleep once I got her. I’d climb into bed and get it nice and warm for her, sound machine on, then when I was ready I’d call him up, latch her on in the cuddle curl and she’d pass out within 10 mins. Yes.. I felt horrible guilt as he’d hand her to me and she was so upset that she was still trembling and soaked in tears.. but it worked. I got a break, he was forced to be a dad for a half hour, and she fell asleep so it was worth it.
thedancingbaptist
New member
@thedancingbaptist Since the 4 month sleep regression. Before that she was consistently doing 8 hour stretches overnight