My 2 year old niece is mean to my 8 month old baby

[regret_living]

My niece is 2 years old almost 3 and is very mean to my 8 month old baby. Sometimes she’ll play with him and be so sweet but for some reason every time she’s around him she will hit, kick, push, throw toys, run him over or if he has a toy she goes up to him says “no baby” and will either throw it at him or take the toy from him she doesn’t even play with it she’ll just go throw it somewhere. This doesn’t bother me she is a learning toddler and my sister does discipline her most of the time when this happens. I just don’t get why she’s so mean to him. His other cousins are the same age as her and play well with him. Does anyone know why she may be acting this way?

 

[tadhg]

@regret_living Probably because she’s 2 lol. She doesn’t yet have a major sense of empathy, impulse control, and will tend to do things to get a rise out of people. I remember being pretty mean to our pets when I was like 3 or 4, and we are dealing with this with our 2 year old and her grandmothers dogs too. It’s a teaching moment

 

[agent47]

@regret_living As another poster said she is two and they don't develop a true sense of empathy until about 5. She also has no impulse control so can't stop herself. It is good your sister is stopping her as it will protect your baby. We are dealing with my 3 year old and not pulling cat tails and not hitting or kicking.

 

[princesst1]

@regret_living My niece is 3, almost 4, and she is the same way towards my 16 month old. Especially true about taking toys away and being possessive of everything even if it doesn’t belong to her. Super recently something flipped and she is way better at playing and being nice. Neither me or her mom knows why, lol. It sucks to see it happen, but trust that she will grow out of it, and in the meantime you can encourage her to be nice.

 

[bookofjade]

@regret_living My 3 year old acts the same around our 1 year old. Sometimes they play so cute together and then boom… the 3 year old will knock the baby over for no reason. No impulse control. It is getting better, so there is hope.

 

[walterbl]

@regret_living I don’t think that this is as personal on the part of the 2.5 year old as you are making it out to be. A lot of young toddlers do not love babies because they feel displaced by them and want attention. Or they just can’t developmentally understand that they are still at a different stage as them which frustrates them. When my son was 2, he took a car away from a baby because “they were playing with it wrong” (it was in their mouth). He isn’t a mean kid at all and he is now much more patient.

I would supervise them closely and have firm boundaries. All kids have different temperaments and so one kid struggling with this while others aren’t is just variety. It sounds like your sister is responding correctly. Hopefully it changes/gets better soon.

 

[ayopaul]

@regret_living How do you respond when she does this stuff? When my 2 yo is not nice to the baby, I say this is how we treat a baby and show him. If he swats or whatever I take his hand and say "be gentle" and show him how to gently rub the baby's head. If he grabs a toy, I take the toy and say "we trade if we want what the baby has" and I show him how if I give the baby a teether toy, he drops the one the toddler wants. Yelling at the baby, I say "we are quiet around the baby" and model a quiet gentle voice.

Toddlers need to be trained. No one is surprised when a puppy bites or attacks a neighboring dog. We train them. Toddlers don't know any better they just do what they want in the moment.